A big part of who you become in life has to do
with who you choose to surround yourself
with. Sometimes luck controls who walks into
your life, but you decide who you let stay,
who you pursue, and who you let walk back
out.
Ultimately, you should surround yourself with
people who make you a better person and let
go of those who don’t. Here are some
warning signs you’re in the presence of the
latter:...



1. They only make time for you when
it’s convenient for them.


It’s obvious, but any relationship without
regular interaction and communication is
going to have problems, especially when
there’s a lack of commitment.
Don’t waste your time with someone who only
wants you around when it’s convenient for
them. You shouldn’t have to force someone
to make a space in their life for you, because
if they truly care about you they will gladly
create space for you.
Being in a relationship with someone who
overlooks your worth isn’t loyalty, it’s
stupidity. Never beg someone for attention.
Know your self-worth, and move on if you
must.



2. They hold your past against you.


Some people will refuse to accept that you
are no longer who you used to be – that
you’ve made mistakes in the past, learned
from them, and moved past them. They may
not be able to stand the fact that you’re
growing and moving on with your life, and so
they will try to drag your past to catch up with
you. Do not help them by acknowledging their
negative behavior. Keep moving forward.
Holding on to the unchangeable past is a
waste of energy and serves no purpose in
creating a better day today. If someone
continuously judges you by your past and
holds it against you, you might have to repair
your future by leaving them behind.


3. You feel trapped.


Healthy relationships keep the doors and
windows wide open. Plenty of air is flowing
and no one feels trapped. Relationships thrive
in this kind of unrestricted environment. You
can come and go as you please, but you
choose to stay because where you are is
where you want to be.



If you want to be a part of someone’s life, all
the open doors and windows in the world
won’t make you leave. If someone has closed
them all in an effort to trap you into
something you don’t want to be a part of, it’s
time to find the strength to kick down the
door.


4. They discredit your dreams and
abilities.


If you allow others to define your dreams and
abilities, then you enable them to hold you
back. What you’re capable of achieving is not
a function of what other people think is
possible for you. What you’re capable of
achieving depends on what you choose to do
with your time and energy.
People will throw all sorts of assumptions
your way about what is possible and what is
impossible. Look beyond the presumptions
and mental limitations of others, and connect
with your own best vision of how YOUR life
can be. Life is an open-ended journey, and
what you achieve comes from what you
expect to achieve and what you work to
achieve.
So don’t worry about what everyone else
thinks. Keep living your truth. The only
people that will get mad at you for doing so
are those who want you to live a lie.


5. They have lied to you more than
once.


Love is a verb, not a noun. It is ACTIVE in all
relationships. Love is not just feelings of
passion and romance between lovers; it is
also a behavior among friends and family. If
someone lies to you, they are unlovingly
disrespecting you and your relationship.
When you keep someone in your life who is a
chronic liar, and you keep giving them new
chances to be trusted, you have a lot in
common with this person – you’re both lying
and being unloving to you!
Bottom line: Those who avoid the truth and
tell you only what you want to hear do so for
their own benefit, not yours. Don’t put up
with it.


6. Their negativity is rubbing off on
you.


The negative people in your life don’t just
behave negatively towards you, but towards
everyone they interact with. What they say
and do is a projection of their own reality –
their own inner issues. Even if they say
something to you that seems personal – even
if they insult you directly – it likely has zero
to do with you.

This is important to remember because what
these negative people say and do shouldn’t be
taken to heart. Although you don’t have
control over what they say and do; you do
have control over whether or not you allow
them to say and do these things to you. You
alone can deny their venomous words and
actions from invading your heart and mind. If
you feel like these people are getting to you,
take a break and give yourself some space to
breathe.
Positive things happen when you distance
yourself from negative people. Doing so
doesn’t mean you hate them, it simply means
you respect yourself.



7. They are excessively envious of
what you have.


A little bit of envy is OK, but when someone
is excessively envious of what you have,
there’s a good chance what they really want
is to take it from you.
Excessive envy doesn’t tell you how much
someone admires you, it tells you how much
they dislike themselves. If you can, try to
help lift them up, but also be careful that they
don’t pull you down. Oftentimes no amount of
love, or promises, or proof from you will ever
be enough to make them feel better about
themselves. For the broken pieces they carry,
are pieces they must mend for themselves.
Happiness, after all, is an inside job.



8. They motivate you to be judgmental
or hateful.

Truth be told, no human being is superior. No
faith, race, size or shape is inferior. All
collective judgments about others are wrong.
Only judgmental hypocrites make them.
If you judge others by their skin color, their
body size, and their outer beauty, you will
miss EVERYTHING about who they really are.
It is amazing the quality of people you will
learn about and meet in this world if you can
simply get past the fact that lots of people
are not dressing and living the way you do.
People who motivate you to judge or hate
others are as bad as bad company gets.
Avoid them at all costs.



9. They want you to be someone else.


Spend time with people who see you the way
you are, and not as they wish to think you
are. Spend even more time with those who
truly know about you, and who love and
respect you anyway.
If someone expects you to be someone you’re
not, take a step back. It’s wiser to lose
relationships over being who you are, than to
keep them intact by acting like someone
you’re not. It’s easier to nurse a little
heartache and meet someone new, than it is
to piece together your own shattered identity.
It’s easier to fill an empty space within your
life where someone else used to be, than it is
to fill the empty space within yourself where
YOU used to be.


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