@ IbKaye, i've got to admit, i'm really pleasantly suprised. I've read your posts on the music forum and they've been, how shall we say, not entirely representative.

I absolutely adore storytelling, when well written. Your good. However, i feel that i should give you some feedback as the reader if that's okay.

I do not get a sense of the length of the story. Is it a short story, a book, a spoken part series meant for radio, etc
If i knew, it will help explain the jumps in the timeline.

The space between the introduction of Motunrayo and the rape is too short. I didn't particularly feel any empathy towards her, because i hardly knew her.

Same goes for Akin, one minute he's an intense handsome loner desired by the women of the village, next minute he's a rapist and a wife beater.

The charachers need fleshing out. If we don't care about them, the story loses a lot of it's appeal. My two cents

lovely story and uv got a nice accent

good to see you spending your spare time judiciously.

good talent you got!

hollandis:

ibk my pikin,one day i know say you go make me proud

Lol thankies

Jairzinho:

really cool voice,you're certainly not in bauchi or kano or which other location you've been using.

Your initial intros had a lot of 'ems , and awkward pauses,the motunrayo story went really ell only the accent kinda affects the traditional pronounciation of those names.

keep it up !!

Lool

Thanks dear

stillwater:

"Club" was funny.

Words come to you easily. That's a good sign you'll turn out good. Keep it up.

Hehehe, glad you liked

Thanks a buch sweets

audio:

@ IbKaye, i've got to admit, i'm really pleasantly suprised. I've read your posts on the music forum and they've been, how shall we say, not entirely representative.

I absolutely adore storytelling, when well written. Your good. However, i feel that i should give you some feedback as the reader if that's okay.

I do not get a sense of the length of the story. Is it a short story, a book, a spoken part series meant for radio, etc
If i knew, it will help explain the jumps in the timeline.

The space between the introduction of Motunrayo and the rape is too short. I didn't particularly feel any empathy towards her, because i hardly knew her.

Same goes for Akin, one minute he's an intense handsome loner desired by the women of the village, next minute he's a rapist and a wife beater.

The charachers need fleshing out. If we don't care about them, the story loses a lot of it's appeal. My two cents

Lol, don't mind me on the music threads, I'm pretty much there to catch fun

Thanks for the feedback, I totally understand what you mean, when writing stories, I tend to write way too much when being descrptive so with this one, I tried to make it simple and straight to the point without being long and windy, I guess that's why it seemed like I jumped alot of times, I'll try to be a bit more descriptive with the next part and without being too long.

@smoooooth
Imeela!


@All
Your feedback is much appreciated!

Your links dont work for me IBK. Guess I'll stick to reading them

ThiefOfHearts:

Your links dont work for me IBK. Guess I'll stick to reading them

Aww, they don't? Sorry o, I'll see if I can upload them to another website also

Thanks for reading

This isn't really a story neither a poem but what I'd call a rather creative news report, had fun recording it too

Voice Recording - http://www.esnips.com/doc/a7c16382-9e45-428c-89a7-2b9cd17c2634/Amebo-Radio-Station

Amebo Radio: Nigerian Criminal Gang Members Arrested


This is CB reporting live on Amebo Radio news report station where we have just received out braking information on the arrest of two notorious criminals who are part of a disreputable gang roaming the streets of Nigeria and on occasions, Ghana.

These group of people are a terrible and dangerous threat to the African society, the sooner they are caught, the better. The two captured members are currently being detained by the police force and will await their trials. The two detained have been named as one Monalisa Chinda and Uche Ogbodo, both regular abusers of the ‘Stop Putting on That Stupid American Accent’ law which came into act in 1997 in Nollywood set by Nollywood's government leaders.

Such breeches of law will earn both detained a befittingly deserved punishment so as to penalize the them for their unlawful felonies. The police are aware that a number of members of the notorious gang are still on the loose   and still creating havoc for the very innocent Nollywood movie viewers who are traumatized after viewing and hearing such poor pronunciation and treatment of words.

A number of suspects are said to go by the names of Stephanie Okereke, Nadia Buari, Pat Attah, Tonto Dike and Jim Iyke who police investigations have come to find may be the ring leader who’s phonetic offences proved so ghastly, an old woman ended up in hospital with severe ear burn after watching one of his latest movies, ‘Dream Maker’. The old woman's family have said to have filed a law suit against the directors of the film. Our sympathy goes out to her.

A reward of a life time supply of agege bread is said to be available for whoever is able to assist police with any information leading to the arrest of the remaining members of the criminal gang, plus 2 bottles of cold stout if the ring leader is caught.

Thank you for listening to Amebo Radio’s latest news report.


Next week’s topic of discussion, ‘The Trials and Tribulations of a Nollywood Actresses Weave’

Nice words. I liked club. Sounded naive and yet mature at the same time. Nice piece

bigboyslim:

Nice words. I liked club. Sounded naive and yet mature at the same time. Nice piece

Thanks

You are a real jewel. Go girl and give Chimamanda a run for her money.

Am I the only one who read it as "Ibkaye's MouthAction Haven?"

Aloy.Emeka:

You are a real jewel. Go girl and give Chimamanda a run for her money.

Lol

n-guage:

Am I the only one who read it as "Ibkaye's MouthAction Haven?"

I knew someone would say that

n-guage:

Am I the only one who read it as "Ibkaye's MouthAction Haven?"

Ewww. . .

Am I the only one who read it as "Ibkaye's MouthAction Haven?"

Why you wan corrupt this small girl?

St☆rStruck:

Ewww. . .

Vitamins ====Φ swimming towards your lips.

tsk tsk n-guage, its certified,
ur nasty

Just listened to Amebo Radio, cool. So you have the comedy thing going as well. Ever thought about putting together a sketch show?

audio:

Just listened to Amebo Radio, cool. So you have the comedy thing going as well. Ever thought about putting together a sketch show?

Erm, what excactly is a sketch show? I'm thinking about drawings, I'm probably wrong

IBKAYE OMO ONI UK ACCENT!!!!!!!

SHIGIRI SHIGIRI!!! ME I KNOW HEAR U OOOOOOOOOOOOO

To be frankly speaking, Britain mode of speaking in English is kinda of funny to me!!!! Graph English!!!

ibkaye:

Erm, what excactly is a sketch show? I'm thinking about drawings, I'm probably wrong

Lol, just a bit. A sketch show is like a collection of different short comedy situations seamlessly running together. So for example, you could have the ameobi thing, followed by say the 419 guy with hygiene problems, followed by the singer with no talent that can't take a hint, shei you get?

Anyway, i sense that's not your main area of expertise, but just an idea sha.

audio:

Lol, just a bit. A sketch show is like a collection of different short comedy situations seamlessly running together. So for example, you could have the ameobi thing, followed by say the 419 guy with hygiene problems, followed by the singer with no talent that can't take a hint, shei you get?

Anyway, i sense that's not your main area of expertise, but just an idea sha.

I see I see, thanks for the suffestion

faakay:

IBKAYE OMO ONI UK ACCENT!!!!!!!

SHIGIRI SHIGIRI!!! ME I KNOW HEAR U OOOOOOOOOOOOO

To be frankly speaking, Britain mode of speaking in English is kinda of funny to me!!!! Graph English!!!

Hmmm

ur representation of a yoruba news caster is hillarious!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr  
What manner of rubbish is all this
Is there nothing else to talk about on Nairaland Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr  
I can't believe I just red all THAT!

hmmmmmmmm. . .   . But, He Sweet SHA!

@poster
This is Honey! Fantastic, Tantalizing!!!                  _{multiple kisses. . . LoL, what an Irony. . .}

bluespice:

ur representation of a yoruba news caster is hillarious!

Lol thanx

Am Alone:

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
What manner of rubbish is all this
Is there nothing else to talk about on Nairaland Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I can't believe I just red all THAT!

hmmmmmmmm. . . . But, He Sweet SHA!

@poster
This is Honey! Fantastic, Tantalizing!!! _{multiple kisses. . . LoL, what an Irony. . .}

is it just me or do you have a slight resemblance to Rihanna?

lol- dont look at the outfit- check the face. I just copied the photo directly from yahoo without really noticing the sleeves. Surprised to see her out I guess.

^

@tpiah
Lol, urm, I don't think so  

tpiah i think its just u

ok

thought i saw some likeness there.

just love um all.

no audio

the british accent killed it for me,cant understand a single word pls can u come thru with pidgin or maybe some yoruba poems?