EfemenaXY:


She shouldn't be seeking Joy, Happiness, and Pleasure at the expense of others. She'll only be "happy" if she succeeds in breaking up that man's home.

@Frommena: You should know that a man would say anything to get between your legs and the classic I'm having issues with my wife...my wife doesn't understand me...I'm going to get a divorce from her are all classical, but tired old lines aimed at the gullible.

m

Do you really think he was with me just to get between my legs? I know for fact that he loved me and not because of his words but his actions too. And I also know for fact that it was ME who ruined his trust by texting to my X bf (and nothing more).

Please dont just say anything without knowing many details to the story above and try to avoid insolting others when Im sure none of you here is innocent and live the "proper" life. My difference is that I know my mistakes, my bad decisions and all. I accept that and now running away from it

Frommena:
m

Do you really think he was with me just to get between my legs? I know for fact that he loved me and not because of his words but his actions too. And I also know for fact that it was ME who ruined his trust by texting to my X bf (and nothing more).

What did he do to show you his love, why has he not divorced his wife for you, why has he not put a ring on your finger.

Just wondering out loud what actions he did to show you love that you are claiming.

Frommena:
m

Do you really think he was with me just to get between my legs? I know for fact that he loved me and not because of his words but his actions too. And I also know for fact that it was ME who ruined his trust by texting to my X bf (and nothing more).

Okay.

So where does his wife factor in all of this? I mean in your scheming and plotting? You say the man loves you, yet during lovemaking, he goes limp. Ever asked yourself why? Or why he told you he can't stand you anymore? Are those the actions of a man who you claim loves you?

This man obviously seems to have some teeny-weeny bit of conscience about him. He's probably been asking himself what he sees in you when he's got a woman who's stood steadfastly by him for 23 years. A solid woman. Not a flighty, impressionable person who'd think nothing about divorcing her man in the span of 2 months and giving off his child to another man - and that's why his Iroko is no longer an Iroko with you - and why he hasn't touched you for six months either.

Yes, he definitely "loves" you.

Pathetic OP, pathetic story.

You still think you didn't break up his marriage? If he truly didn't love his wife like he kept telling you, would he take so long to divorce her? How long did it take you to divorce your own husband? Would you have done that so easily if you loved him? How much pressure did you put on him before he finally got a legal seperation?

See, I don't understand why you are seeking happiness when you are at the center of another woman's unhappiness? Can a man sow beans and reap potatoes?

Anyways, no matter how far you have gone a wrong road, you gotta turn back. Go get your own man!

Frommena:
What I actually want to understand is if he really loves and want to be with me..

Second best
That's the hard truth
You love him and you forgive him for everything he does
He knows and using that to hold you down
Its hard to let go but if you can fight it
Hope you not pregnant for him sha

Classic case of two cheaters.....Abeg make una leave this mumu OP and her fellow culprit make them rot in thier hell....Can't you guys see ? this karma paying them in their own coin.

When you found out he was married, you didn't leave.

God still saved you from the disastrous relationship and you got a family of your own but you chose to dump them for someone who won't leave his own for you.

Do you think everyone is foolish like you?
You expect him to sacrifice his family for you?
Keep dreaming.

I don't like ladies like you who don't think twice about taking other people's husbands. Selfish and wicked.

.

I dnt knw wot 2 say o

When is the part 2 of this movie coming out ?

The society and morals are on ligal wife's side. And it is normal. I am not asking anyone to be on my side and I don't even hope that situation like mine will stop women to fall in love with married men. This is just life and men will have another woman on a side and keep torchering both women.

It may sound strange or wrong but I really hate when a woman tries to destroy someone's built family. In my story there is no justification but explanation why im in this shoe right now. I can see from most of the post that people are attacking, blaming ME and not a single reply was blaming HIM! I really dont care when people judge me, because I know myself where Im wrong and where Im right. I believe both people are responsible for the situation. Moreover, it is obvious he is not /was not happy with his wife either, this is something between them.

It is just sad to see that people dont even understand that HE IS doing wrong both women: his wife and the woman he lives with. As if it is OK for a man to cheat on his wife and live with someone, not just dating outside!

Its not about what people think of ME, but what they think about this situation where all three of us have own faults & mistakes, including his wife! Man who is happy in his marriage won't have another woman in his life. Having 23, 32, 50 years or the whole life together does NOT mean people are in love or happy there! Unfortunatelly there are many couples who get married without love for different reasons and yet they last for a long time.

And to compare my quick decision and action to divorce with his decision on the same are not relavant for the simple fact that this person has already 2 kids and built family where mine was easier to stop just the new relations. A man as a responsible provider, a man who loves his kids cannot dump his family just like that. Some people prepare the base and everything else to make sure his kids are not just abounded and will still have great relations with their father after he divorces their mom. Im not trying to justify him in someones or my own eyes.

We are together since 4 years ago. Yes it is already long enough time for him to be ready for divorce. But these 4 years are not just happy 4 years together. We have been going through a lot during this time. And I must confess that I understand why he doesnt trust me and could be afraid of being cheated by me, although I dont think nor accept that I cheated on him coz I started the relations with my x husband when my man was with his wife on vacation and we were not together for 11 months or so.

It is also a known fact that people sometimes don't see the symptomps of NO LOVE just because they DONT WANT to see it. And I could be one of them, however on the other hand i ask myself: If he doesnt love me, doesnt want me in his life why not to break with me? It is much easier then divorcing his wife as we are not married, no responsibilities are involved, no mutuak kids. It is really easy to get rid of me, just by walking away and never turn back.

- Why then he would stay with me until now and when we have issues and fights?

- Why wouldnt he take advantage of my marriage and get rid of me back then?

- why to keep me by his side until now?

- why to give my daughter his name and he offered it on his own

It could be alsi because he feels guilty for letting me divorce my x husband and take away a father from my child. Also, I completely financially depend on him and maybe he is waiting until i can start working once my child can go to kindergarden.

I mean there are different answeres in my mind to think he loves me or he doesnt. This is why Im very confused.

@ frommena - I am not really sure where to start with you because you have touched on so many points and your mindset obviously has not changed, you still don't understand where you went wrong and if opportunity presents itself, you will break another home, and another and another...shame

The man is definitely not blameless, infact, he gets the bulk of the blame cuz he is the one that has allegiance to the wife and not you, however, he is not here so we can't blame him, hopefully, he will aslo get served in due time.

Next, whether he is happy with his wife or not is totally not your business and it is no justification whatsoever for you to get involved with a man who is still married to his wife. Are you his night nurse, marriage counsellor or homebreaker? what exactly is your role? The latter looks more like it. Because he told you he was not happy, your role was to finish the little affection or love he still had for his family and win him to your side...hmnnn...so now that he has been with you for 4 yrs like you said, is he happy now? Your post says no. So why hasn't he broken up with you? Smell the coffee my dear - you are just his past time, a stress reliever, an object of casual getaway...but too bad, you are not even performing that role, and that happiness he was seeking eludes both of you. it's a loss-loss situation for you.

Agreed, he is one hell of a selfish and self-centered human but people like you have made it easy for him to eat his cake and have it cuz his wishes are your command, you are at his beck and call, he is your paymaster

And pls stop emphasizing on the wife's fault, she is not your business. She owes you nothing and you are not in any position to analyze her weaknesses. Leave that for the man that married her. Look inwards and see the truckload of wrongs you have done. Access yourself and make amends. That's the only way to rediscover your worth and happiness. It cannot be found by stylishly running the wife or his marriage down. Afterall, you have been an enabler in making their marriage go from bad to worse. And yet you seek happiness Which side??

Deal with yourself. Their marriage, their lovelife, their business. Go find yours!

Kimoni:
@ frommena - I am not really sure where to start with you because you have touched on so many points and your mindset obviously has not changed, you still don't understand where you went wrong and if opportunity presents itself, you will break another home, and another and another...shame

The man is definitely not blameless, infact, he gets the bulk of the blame cuz he is the one that has allegiance to the wife and not you, however, he is not here so we can't blame him, hopefully, he will aslo get served in due time.

Next, whether he is happy with his wife or not is totally not your business and it is no justification whatsoever for you to get involved with a man who is still married to his wife. Are you his night nurse, marriage counsellor or homebreaker? what exactly is your role? The latter looks more like it. Because he told you he was not happy, your role was to finish the little affection or love he still had for his family and win him to your side...hmnnn...so now that he has been with you for 4 yrs like you said, is he happy now? Your post says no. So why hasn't he broken up with you? Smell the coffee my dear - you are just his past time, a stress reliever, an object of casual getaway...but too bad, you are not even performing that role, and that happiness he was seeking eludes both of you. it's a loss-loss situation for you.

Agreed, he is one hell of a selfish and self-centered human but people like you have made it easy for him to eat his cake and have it cuz his wishes are your command, you are at his beck and call, he is your paymaster

And pls stop emphasizing on the wife's fault, she is not your business. She owes you nothing and you are not in any position to analyze her weaknesses. Leave that for the man that married her. Look inwards and see the truckload of wrongs you have done. Access yourself and make amends. That's the only way to rediscover your worth and happiness. It cannot be found by stylishly running the wife or his marriage down. Afterall, you have been an enabler in making their marriage go from bad to worse. And yet you seek happiness Which side??

Deal with yourself. Their marriage, their lovelife, their business. Go find yours!

No one is judging her, im thinking of the whole situation where she is in too.

Frommena:


No one is judging her, im thinking of the whole situation where she is in too.

You still don't get it..

Scientists believe that matter (earth) Is made up of three particles namely Proton, Neutron and Electrons..

It is so pathetic they missed out on another important element.... MORONS....

bellong:


You still don't get it..

Scientists believe that matter (earth? Is made up of three particles namely Proton, Neutron and Electrons..

It is so pathetic they missed out on another important element.... MORONS....

Wicked! Wicked!! Wicked!!!

kai op
receive sense.
you will wait till Kingdom come before that man divorces his wife.

Kimoni:
Pathetic OP, pathetic story.

You still think you didn't break up his marriage? If he truly didn't love his wife like he kept telling you, would he take so long to divorce her? How long did it take you to divorce your own husband? Would you have done that so easily if you loved him? How much pressure did you put on him before he finally got a legal seperation?

See, I don't understand why you are seeking happiness when you are at the center of another woman's unhappiness? Can a man sow beans and reap potatoes?

Anyways, no matter how far you have gone a wrong road, you gotta turn back. Go get your own man!

You contradict yourself.

How did she break up his marriage when he hasn't divorced his wife? And why should it be her job to save his marriage? She has no responsibility to save someone else's marriage. She "loves" this man and she wants to be with him. She is not the one who made the marriage vows. She is free to desire whatever she desires.

tpiah11:


didnt read further, but i'm sure others will, and can offer you whatever advice you're here for.

Style007:
Nna eh this story tire me oh

Timbuktou:


I gave up at this point. OP, good luck to you abeg.

Why all of una dey run na

Op it will be easier to find a needle in a haystack than to make sense out of your story. if the above story is true then mehhn you are hopelessly lost

5minsmadness:







Why all of una dey run na

lol baba this story get as e be, I don't know if is to insult her or to advice her

Mindfulness:


You're very welcome.

@bold

You ALREADY are ALONE else you would not seek advice from strangers online but confide in your mate.

The reason why you are unable to cope with break up well is that you BELIEVE that a relationship will make you feel better BUT this isn't the case obviously. I am not telling you to break up, all I am saying is that you need to find ways to be HAPPY and JOYFUL regardless the circumstances you find yourself in, in your relationship(s). See, the problem is that your unhappiness and inability to find happiness within yourself infects your relationships with men. You need to find PLEASURE, HAPPINESS and JOY within yourself and then you will experience it in relationships. I promise you.

I wish you all the best.

Nice.

5minsmadness:


Nice.

The fact that this particular comment resonates with you, says a lot about you. It is a very good sign. Let it serve you.

bellong:


You still don't get it..

Scientists believe that matter (earth) Is made up of three particles namely Proton, Neutron and Electrons..

It is so pathetic they missed out on another important element.... MORONS....

Bu.ha.ha.ha......

@OP:

You have serious issues underneath you need to deal with.

It is no concern of mine that you sleep with a married man; that's both of yous palaver.

What I find strange is that you will divorce a husband of 2mths because a married lover of four years and married for 23yrs said so. Same man who is yet to file for his own divorce.

Where are your parents or elders in your family?

I think you desperately need their counsel.

Mindfulness:


The fact that this particular comment resonates with you, says a lot about you. It is a very good sign. Let it serve you.

[size=3pt]What is your former moniker?[/size]

bukatyne:


[size=3pt]What is your former moniker?[/size]

[size=3pt]non-existent. [/size]

Mindfulness:


[size=3pt]non-existent. [/size]

[size=2pt]Why don't I believe you [/size]

bukatyne:


[size=2pt]Why don't I believe you [/size]

[size=3pt]I am not sure why. I liked your last comment on this thread pretty much. [/size]

Mindfulness:


[size=3pt]I am not sure why. I liked your last comment on this thread pretty much. [/size]

[size=2pt]Thanks. Maybe because you are ileobatojo

Anyways, welcome to Nairaland [/size]

bukatyne:


[size=2pt]Thanks. Maybe because you are ileobatojo

Anyways, welcome to Nairaland [/size]

[size=3pt]Now this is a new one. Thank you very much. [/size]

Mindfulness:


[size=3pt]Now this is a new one. Thank you very much. [/size]

You are welcome