Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
Love Affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power.
Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Attraction: The act of associating horniness with a particular person.
Bachelor: A guy who has avoided the opportunity to make some woman miserable
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her
Cannibal: Someone who is fed up with people
Chicken: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
Committee: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own
Dating: The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.
Gentleman: A man who, when his wife drops her knitting, kicks it over to her so that she can easily pick it up.
Gossip: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
Husband: A person who is the boss of his house and has his wife's permission to say so.
Husband: A man who gives up privileges he never realized he had.
Housework: What the wife does that nobody notices until she doesn't do it.
Handkerchief: Cold storage.
Indifference: A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be "playing hard to get.
Liver: A person who lives on and on
Love: An obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage.
Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market.
Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress.
Mother-in-Law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
Mrs.: A job title involving heavy duties, light earnings and no recognition.
Spouse: Someone who will stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single in the first place.
Tomorrow: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today
Wife: A mate who is forever complaining about not having anything to wear at the very same time that she complains about not having enough room in the closet.

soooooooooooooo funny

I love this $hit

That's so good

funny

good talk bro, good talk

This is good, Love it

Really nice!! Is there still more?

2wice-9ice

this is real cool

Im likin d definitions 4 mistress & spouse. They r so truuuu

Well dan!