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Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? - Family - Nairaland

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Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by SarahGee: 9:32pm On Dec 21, 2015
I wish I knew a better way to rephrase this question. You have seen many married people slowly cut ties with their single friends. Is it just natural that they instantly cease to have things in common or is it a society expectation? It is common among ladies. Some friends even cut ties with their friends once they have a boyfriend! Common b o y f r i e n d !!!

Some own’t even invite their single friends to their weddings or when they do, the single ones are made to wear a different type of asoebi as though they are wild animals that the wedding guests should be cautious of


I guess single people are really wild animals.


I wouldn’t be asking if I haven’t been a victim. A friend of mine got engaged 7 months ago and I was busy turning up and down for her. Her wedding is this coming Saturday and I noticed last night that she’s no longer on my BBM. I feel I don’t deserve it cos I respect people’s space a lot. No matter how close we were before you got hitched, I would respect your privacy once you start a family. I have never ever gone to the house of a married friend on my own volition and I am also quick to turn down invites once I sense that you are inviting me because you feel obligated to. Phone calls or chats once in a blue moon will do for me but there are still friends that will avoid any form of communication with you but run for advice from you as a single person that knows nothing when things get a bit rocky in their marriages. Some even go as far as looking for married friends pen pals on blogs and social networks like they didn’t make their bed.

Since this is now the in-thing, my new motto is ,”Cut the engaged ones off before they cut you!”

http://naijasinglegirl.com/why-do-people-abandon-their-single-friends-after-marriage/

26 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by missdebs(f): 9:35pm On Dec 21, 2015
what relationship has light with darkness grin

40 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Spanner4(m): 9:35pm On Dec 21, 2015
It is becoz they have found their Johnny!
grin
Anyway me am looking for my Yemi

11 Likes

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Specialbaby(f): 9:38pm On Dec 21, 2015
The world is evil hence friends and foes are almost intertwined.


Due to cases of husband snatching,friends wickedness and dubious acts,i dont think a married woman would want to keep singles friends knowing fully well jealousy is the order of the day even if,then the friendship must be at arm length.



My opinion tho.hope it make sense.

31 Likes

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Nobody: 9:39pm On Dec 21, 2015
u associate with people like u smiley

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Spanner4(m): 9:40pm On Dec 21, 2015
Specialbaby:
The world is evil hence friends and foes are almost intertwined.


Due to cases of husband snatching,friends wickedness and dubious acts,i dont think a married woman would want to keep singles friends knowing fully well jealousy is the order of the day even if,then the friendship must be at arm length.



My opinion tho.hope it make sense.

Will u be my Yemi?
Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Specialbaby(f): 9:41pm On Dec 21, 2015
Spanner4:

Will u be my Yemi?
no i will rather be your semi

9 Likes

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by angiemartinez(f): 9:43pm On Dec 21, 2015
Op don't worry, 2016 won't pass u by. So when u finally tie the knot u will understand better.

32 Likes

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Spanner4(m): 9:44pm On Dec 21, 2015
Specialbaby:
no i will rather be your semi
cheesy cheesy
Special baby, what makes u special,I wonda o
Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Specialbaby(f): 9:47pm On Dec 21, 2015
Spanner4:

cheesy cheesy

Special baby, what makes u special,I wonda o
hehehe being special is from within.

3 Likes

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by SarahGee: 9:50pm On Dec 21, 2015
angiemartinez:
Op don't worry, 2016 won't pass u by. So when u finally tie the knot u will understand better.

Amen oooo grin

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Nobody: 9:51pm On Dec 21, 2015
It depends on the kind of friendship or the depth of it in the first place.

There are some friendships that have no depth...it's those that are mostly affected when one of the parties gets married. I stand to be corrected, but that's what I think.

30 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by ladycomfort(f): 9:54pm On Dec 21, 2015
SarahGee:
I wish I knew a better way to rephrase this question. You have seen many married people slowly cut ties with their single friends. Is it just natural that they instantly cease to have things in common or is it a society expectation? It is common among ladies. Some friends even cut ties with their friends once they have a boyfriend! Common b o y f r i e n d !!!

Some own’t even invite their single friends to their weddings or when they do, the single ones are made to wear a different type of asoebi as though they are wild animals that the wedding guests should be cautious of


I guess single people are really wild animals.


I wouldn’t be asking if I haven’t been a victim. A friend of mine got engaged 7 months ago and I was busy turning up and down for her. Her wedding is this coming Saturday and I noticed last night that she’s no longer on my BBM. I feel I don’t deserve it cos I respect people’s space a lot. No matter how close we were before you got hitched, I would respect your privacy once you start a family. I have never ever gone to the house of a married friend on my own volition and I am also quick to turn down invites once I sense that you are inviting me because you feel obligated to. Phone calls or chats once in a blue moon will do for me but there are still friends that will avoid any form of communication with you but run for advice from you as a single person that knows nothing when things get a bit rocky in their marriages. Some even go as far as looking for married friends pen pals on blogs and social networks like they didn’t make their bed.

Since this is now the in-thing, my new motto is ,”Cut the engaged ones off before they cut you!”
. That was how one of my friends avoided me few weeks before her wedding and after her wedding although I attended her wedding. Wetin be my own

5 Likes

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Nobody: 9:57pm On Dec 21, 2015
angiemartinez:
Op don't worry, 2016 won't pass u by. So when u finally tie the knot u will understand better.

What's there to understand better?

Entered the town where my best friend of 10years stays this evening. After spending hours catching up, she only just left with her hubby. Is it that she isn't understanding something 'better' by not throwing away our friendship upon getting married?

Or did you throw away all your friendships on getting married? Did you see your friends as runs girls who would try the snatching game?

#okaybye

13 Likes

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Spanner4(m): 10:00pm On Dec 21, 2015
Specialbaby:
hehehe being special is from within.

Then let's make it special- Guys u all are invited to Spanner weds Special baby come Dec 31.
Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Spanner4(m): 10:01pm On Dec 21, 2015
Specialbaby:
hehehe being special is from within.

Then let's make it special- Guys u all are invited to Spanner weds Special baby come Dec 31.
RSVP

2 Likes

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Specialbaby(f): 10:01pm On Dec 21, 2015
Spanner4:


Then let's make it special- Guys u all are invited to Spanner weds Special baby come Dec 31.

hahahahahaha


you are so funny.


I will come for the rice tho.lol

1 Like

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by yomi007k(m): 10:02pm On Dec 21, 2015
WTF r u guys talking about?


I avoid folks about to get married becos dey will only put u in debt before n after marriage... tongue

I wana be in ur shoes

23 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Spanner4(m): 10:04pm On Dec 21, 2015
Specialbaby:
hahahahahaha


you are so funny.


I will come for the rice tho.lol


What is the size of ur wedding gown so that I will buy it in China? And also what is ur ring size? Do u prefer we holding the wedding inside lagoon or on a yatch?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Specialbaby(f): 10:05pm On Dec 21, 2015
Spanner4:



What is the size of ur wedding gown so that I will buy it in China? And also what is ur ring size? Do u prefer we holding the wedding inside lagoon or on a yatch?
hehehehe i dnt know how to handle these kinda joke o.


Ok buy me size 85 ring size 3sad
Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Spanner4(m): 10:10pm On Dec 21, 2015
Specialbaby:
hehehehe i dnt know how to handle these kinda joke o.


Ok buy me size 85 ring size 3sad

Okay dear, so where do u prefer it to hold? Inside lagoon and do u prefer using Keke na pep to convey us or Baby honda?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Nobody: 11:08pm On Dec 21, 2015
Why do women not why do people men don't do this.

2 Likes

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Pidggin(f): 6:39am On Dec 22, 2015
SarahGee:
I wish I knew a better way to rephrase this question. You have seen many married people slowly cut ties with their single friends. Is it just natural that they instantly cease to have things in common or is it a society expectation? It is common among ladies. Some friends even cut ties with their friends once they have a boyfriend! Common b o y f r i e n d !!!

Some own’t even invite their single friends to their weddings or when they do, the single ones are made to wear a different type of asoebi as though they are wild animals that the wedding guests should be cautious of


I guess single people are really wild animals.


I wouldn’t be asking if I haven’t been a victim. A friend of mine got engaged 7 months ago and I was busy turning up and down for her. Her wedding is this coming Saturday and I noticed last night that she’s no longer on my BBM. I feel I don’t deserve it cos I respect people’s space a lot. No matter how close we were before you got hitched, I would respect your privacy once you start a family. I have never ever gone to the house of a married friend on my own volition and I am also quick to turn down invites once I sense that you are inviting me because you feel obligated to. Phone calls or chats once in a blue moon will do for me but there are still friends that will avoid any form of communication with you but run for advice from you as a single person that knows nothing when things get a bit rocky in their marriages. Some even go as far as looking for married friends pen pals on blogs and social networks like they didn’t make their bed.

Since this is now the in-thing, my new motto is ,”Cut the engaged ones off before they cut you!”

Newly wed ladies abandon their single friends because they are under the illusion that they will never need them again. It's like they feel like they have moved on to better things and a more meaningful life, but sometimes this is not the case , and they will try coming back to you later, you just make sure you move on yourself so she doesn't find you when she realises her mistake.

33 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by EfemenaXY: 8:46am On Dec 22, 2015
SarahGee:
I wish I knew a better way to rephrase this question. You have seen many married people slowly cut ties with their single friends. Is it just natural that they instantly cease to have things in common or is it a society expectation? It is common among ladies. Some friends even cut ties with their friends once they have a boyfriend! Common b o y f r i e n d !!!
Some own’t even invite their single friends to their weddings or when they do, the single ones are made to wear a different type of asoebi as though they are wild animals that the wedding guests should be cautious of
I guess single people are really wild animals.
I wouldn’t be asking if I haven’t been a victim. A friend of mine got engaged 7 months ago and I was busy turning up and down for her. Her wedding is this coming Saturday and I noticed last night that she’s no longer on my BBM. I feel I don’t deserve it cos I respect people’s space a lot. No matter how close we were before you got hitched, I would respect your privacy once you start a family. I have never ever gone to the house of a married friend on my own volition and I am also quick to turn down invites once I sense that you are inviting me because you feel obligated to. Phone calls or chats once in a blue moon will do for me but there are still friends that will avoid any form of communication with you but run for advice from you as a single person that knows nothing when things get a bit rocky in their marriages. Some even go as far as looking for married friends pen pals on blogs and social networks like they didn’t make their bed.
Since this is now the in-thing, my new motto is ,”Cut the engaged ones off before they cut you!”


SarahGee, the scenario you just described is so wrong and should never have happened. It just goes to prove that your "friendship" was never real to start with and you're better off without her.

Granted, friends with differing responsibilities can drift apart over time but on most occasions it happens slowly and naturally - not deliberately and certainly not the way you described what happened to you.

The important thing is having a common ground and great understanding between you both. Marriage isn't for everyone. Even I, as old as I am, have got different categories of friends. I've got some single friends, divorced friends, some going through separation, some newly wedded friends, and some who've been married for donkey years. The most important thing is having that understanding between you both.

Think of it this way: rather than lump your friends together, try and see which categories they fall under. Some of mine are absolute workaholics and career go-getters. These people are a great source of inspiration and knowledge base regarding sourcing career tips and advice. Others are stay at home mums / part-time working parents raising young families and have great ideas on how to combine / achieve that work-life/balance, etc.

So you see, there is no one size fits all. As long as there's understanding and a common ground to rub minds on, then there shouldn't be any problem. Only childish and insecure folks dump their single friends because they want to "avoid husband snatchers". That shows how much they undermine their partners (husbands) or perhaps are afraid of Karma getting even with them.

A man / woman who plans to cheat on their spouse will do so, irrespective of whether or not the single friends are dumped or not.

38 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Nobody: 8:58am On Dec 22, 2015
wrong...wat kind of friend does dis undecided.........only fake friends ofcos!!...FFF!!! angry

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by calculator123(m): 4:05pm On Dec 22, 2015
there weren't real in the first instance,try as much u can to keep the engaged or abt to wed frnds at arm length.so u dont make them feel to important,it becuz pple tend to be on their beck and call that why they take single frnds for granted
Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by deeptesting(m): 4:23pm On Dec 22, 2015
OP take it in your stride and let it slide... I have a friend, if u don't know you will think we are brothers,his Dad died in my arms.. I was a great contributor to his marriage financially, logistically and otherwise but i gave him a very long space after his wedding, i am married but separated.

He is very religious and i understand the kind of advice he would be getting from self righteous people, some may think i will be a bad influence to him, i may sound insecure but i hate embarrassment and so guide myself accordingly.

He noticed and tried talking to me i simply told him nothing has changed but i think his wife deserves his time more and he needs to hit the ground running to build his marriage.

Don't take it personal, life will throw a lot of stuff at you how many do you want to whine about?

56 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by SAMBARRY: 8:17pm On Dec 22, 2015
My dear

2 Likes

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by tayo60(f): 8:25pm On Dec 22, 2015
My married friends also did the same to me.
Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Icecomrade: 9:15pm On Dec 22, 2015
Its a new world.

Friends needs space off old times to deal with the new phase of challenges

3 Likes

Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Bollinger(m): 9:16pm On Dec 22, 2015
EroticAngelina:
u associate with people like u smiley

Thank you. Well said.
Re: Why Do People Abandon Their Single Friends After Marriage? by Wendyslim(f): 9:16pm On Dec 22, 2015
It depend on the kind of friends dey keep when dey were single

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