Before Trivialising The Significant
I've hard intellectuals say this several times and I must say my astonishment to that effect was transient. As opposed to what obtains decades ago, we have started endorsing, in the cultural sense, the unpopular. Throughout the length and breadths of the nation, there was no culture that downplays the significance of the age long practice but out of our near total westernised wit, it is now being advocated to be seen as a thing of less importance. Our dear Ruben Abbati said in clear terms in his post about Audu and Sugarbelly that part of the ways of dealing with the rape menace is for the female folks to realise that getting married is not their greatest achievement. Giving his statement and that of other intellectuals a suitable crop, the message is: 'Marriage is not a lady's greatest achievement.' Let's not be oblivious of the fact that a statement with the slightest element of contempt for an institution is only waiting for the right time to be a full blown contempt. 'When you tell a lie several times, it becomes the truth', Chimamanda Adichie did pass across this message in her book titled 'Purple Hibiscus'. The whole message is not to say those that said it is not a lady's greatest achievement were wrong, but in the context, the institution was belittled.
I want to believe the bulk of Nigerians are either Muslims or Christians and their books made it clear right from the beginning of creation, marriage has been sanctioned by the supreme being. The facts are alive. The bible said Eve was created for Adam's sake and the Qur'an did not negate that either. It beats common sense therefore for black Homo Sapiens to think there is nothing special about the institution. We should also know that the divorce scourge in the western world came as a result of a mentality which trivialises the holy matrimony. Over there, you can have flings as a lady and still make bold to discuss that with anyone, but a real African woman is not expected to do that talk more of disclosing such Illicit affair. 'We are Africans' and that unique thing about us is our culture that teaches decency. Little wonder, the West is a haven for moral decadence and at the moment we are tending towards that by what they make and are making us believe as a race. My teacher once said; 'You don't have to pick all my attributes, the goods are apt'. We don't have to follow the west, hook, line and sinker because we value family here.
The female folk should not be deluded by what they hear or see on those screens. They must know they play a significant role in nation building. For us to have a good nation, good people are needed. Good people are products of good family. The truth is, if we don't see marriage as an important institution, we take it with levity, the society becomes awash with children raised by single parents and just as we know it, two ears befit a head. Another debatable truth is that no African lady ever set out to remain single for life, but circumstances warrant the frustration induced 'marriage is not the greatest of all achievements' rantings. You can try to forget the horrible past and do the needful, but this time, look before you leap to avoid same old story. Whether you accidentally possess a fair complexion or you rightly have the dark African skin, remember that it may not be the greatest of a lady's achievement, but it remains one of the greatest until childbirth becomes a sin.