Good day ladies and gentlemen.

I am not a man with supple words, neither am I an emblem of a witty chatter, but I am a fellow citizen, encumbered by the dawdling decay of our infamous home, The Literature Section.

Truth be said, the future is bleak, and it is on the verge of being cast into the quagmire.

We can change that. It is in our hands.

Based on the aberrant rise of our youths, who find blissful gratification in frivolous chronicles (the faults are shared among the writers, readers and moderators, and yes, mostly the writers), this thread is a first of many, opened to revive this section.

To speak with my mouth fully open, writers are killing this section, I inclusive.

Now, I am not insensitive to the efforts all writers put into making this section remain afloat with stories, but I am also sensitive to the truth that some works/stories are poorly written, resulting to the calamity we are forced to live with.
I see where people clamour that some stories be placed on the front page, and I ask myself, "Exactly which story is worthy of that?"

Hence the need for this thread.

No too much speech.

In order to make significant improvement and revive this section with well articulated stories, improve writers, and take this Lit. Section to another level, this thread is basically open to criticise/scrutinise any and every story in this section, and this scrutiny is not done with the kids gloves on.

Trust me, no one can improve without a proper criticism. So don't feel too terrible when the hammer comes down on you.

Just in case you feel terrible after a critical review of your work, you can do either of the two options, IMPROVE or GET OUT of this section.

Sounds harsh?
We haven't even started yet.

CRITERIA FOR CRITICISM.

The criteria depends on the critics, but it would be important to list few of them.

Story Theme.
Story Plot.
Story Settings.
Background.
Characters.
Genre.
Grammar.
Punctuation, among others which the critics deem worthy of scrutiny.

Now before you start saying or thinking, "Not everyone has a 'Wole Soyinka' in them." I am so sure you are not writing just to tell us you studied english in school, but still imperfect in organising words and making a sensible sentence, because if your story should finally get nominated for an international accolade, I am very sure you would not decline it based on your imperfections. So whatever you can do to improve yourself, you had better do it like tomorrow won't come.

Trust me, these criticism, as they would come, is not to devalue one's work, no. Rather, see it as a an avenue to take corrections from those who are ahead of you in the field.

There are so many works underway to revive this section, with time, more will be unfolded and I know that with collective efforts, we can achieve what we set our minds to do.

CRITICS.

Don't fear, I am not the person with the mantle to scrutinise anybody's work, but there are those who can, and who will do it.

I will mention a few of them, but I enjoin everyone who knows they have the capacity to give a critical review, withholding nothing back, should also tag along to make this successful.

RATINGS.

Every work must be rated. From 0 to 10. This ratings will go a long way. I don't need to explain.

Tags.

Divepen1.
Larrysun.
Royver.
Oma4U.
Whitemosquitoe.
KingzPen.
MaziOmenuko.
Ishilove.
D9ty7.
SammyHoe.
Stuff46.
Repogirl.
Prettyspicey.
TiffanyJ.
Esixlove.
HumbledbyGrace.

(Help me tag those you deem worthy of this also)

The list is endless, but I will stop here for now. Please, everyone should come on board and let's make this work.

As for the criticism, you all know what to do. At the. End of your review, please kindly leave a rating.

Thank you.

Nice work, theorbiters, I'm following.....

repogirl:
Nice work, theorbiters, I'm following.....

Thank you ma. Your input is highly appreciated.

The thread should be more like an interactive one, not necessarily rating the story. Just giving review on a writers work and pointing out errors as they come.

Let writer alike rub mind, for the good of it.

Great idea. Op

stuff46:
The thread should be more like an interactive one, not necessarily rating the story. Just giving review on a writers work and pointing out errors as they come.

Let writer alike rub mind, for the good of it.

Your opinion is highly appreciated.

Dklef:
Great idea. Op

Thank you sir. Your contribution too is also needed sir.

Nice one op, please include that not every story had to be on sex.

boyo123:
Nice one op, please include that not every story had to be on sex.

Lol... In as much as you and I share that same view, it would be unfair to place an embargo on writers. Every writer have their genre they are specialised at, so I would rather wish that all writers write creatively, and not just inept fantasy. Still, I am grateful for your contribution.

I just want to ask u two questions.
-In what way do Seun encourages d finest writers u've listed? (I look up to them, my respect to them all, they have all inspired my write-ups). I feel Seun care less about them thinking he has done them a favour by creating a forum for their publicity.

-Did Seun put u up to this? (i can smell his aura on u).

By the way, do Seun really read these things? If yes, then he should quote me.

Below is one story that needs to be seriously worked on: A Nice Bad Player: Forbidden Pattern. https://www.nairaland.com/2828286/nice-bad-player-forbiden-pattern

oloyolo:
So my days in anambra were quick and exciting I was in the alter boys association but never had the nerve to serve in a real mass that right I was a very shy guy so I didn't even stand a chance when it comes to wooing the opposite sex but my best friend was a different story I don't even know if I should call that guy my best friend because I had so many best friends but this particular one was a bad guy he dates even older girls didn't know how he dose it but I never really asked so as a city boy a good number of girls were struggling to get my attention but I was too shy to make any move so because of my low self esteem I forgort about girls (First and foremost, the use of full stops and other punctuation marks would have given this work more life.)
I just joined the typical village boys and did I tell you I was a sisi boy I culdent play foot ball or any sport nothing was special about me or so I thought. (It's nice to see one punctuation mark here. The writer can do more if he tries.) I spent 2 years in the village before going back to abuja to complete my jss 3 my one year In abuja was also intresing ohh and did I tell u that I was the type who gets into trouble almost every day seriously I was a very complicated human being sha I later moved to lagos to further my senior secondary school and that was the making of a player
SIT thight (Spelling error.)

Rating: 3/10.

ghostwritter:
I just want to ask u two questions.
-In what way do Seun encourages d finest writers u've listed? (I look up to them, my respect to them all, they have all inspired my write-ups). I feel Seun care less about them thinking he has done them a favour by creating a forum for their publicity.

-Did Seun put u up to this? (i can smell his aura on u).

By the way, do Seun really read these things? If yes, then he should quote me.

Good day sir. I can say for a fact that the same way you are concerned, is also, if not more, the same way I am concerned. I wouldn't want us to dabble into the dark waters of whether Mr. Seun cares or not, which I believe he does, but has a hard time showing it. Still, the onus rests on us, moderators, writers and readers alike, to appreciate everyone worthy of honour. Mr. Seun's involvements would go a long way, but let us start with ourselves first. Honestly, I appreciate your effort in this section. I tell you, it has been encouraging, but we can do more.

Okay, for your other question, NO OOOOOO, oga Seun no send me any message oooo!! This idea was born out of much deliberation among writers like you. When a man see that his roof is leaking, he doesn't run away, rather he finds a way to fix it. Trust me, more of this is underway. We just need your assistance, as you have been lending before.

Thank you sir, and I look forward to work with you.

theorbiters:

Lol... In as much as you and I share that same view, it would be unfair to place an embargo on writers. Every writer have their genre they are specialised at, so I would rather wish that all writers write creatively, and not just inept fantasy. Still, I am grateful for your contribution.

some people dont even care if their storyline makes sense,they spend more time on the sex part.
no one would take this section serious,if we keep writing like that.

LarrySun:
Okay. This is not a thread for kids. This is a place of tough criticisms. Don't ever expect to be patted on the back here. You can be praised in your threads...but it won't happen here. Forgive me if I am too mean. Just prove me wrong by getting better. This section should be cleansed of littering Twinkle, Twinkle Little Stars kind of narratives, because truly, we have seen a significant number of writers who drink from the closet bowls and urinate in the fountains of true prose.

Below is one story (if I am permitted to refer to such ludicrous hieroglyphs as a story) that brought a sore to my eyeballs. It has this hackneyed titled - A Nice Bad Player: Forbidden Pattern. https://www.nairaland.com/2828286/nice-bad-player-forbiden-pattern



Rating: A generously-given 1/10.

may be its his first time.

boyo123:
some people dont even care if their storyline makes sense,they spend more time on the sex part.
no one would take this section serious,if we keep writing like that.

Hence the need for this thread and critics like you. Don't spare the hammer when you need to come down hard on a writer. Don't offer praises when you need to dish out serious criticism. I trust you can also do this.

I am looking forward to working with you on this.

I just feel I should add that writers whose works are criticised shouldn't feel bad about it, its really to help one improve.

I look forward to having my work dissected also.... LarrySun, care to do the honours

repogirl:
I just feel I should add that writers whose works are criticised shouldn't feel bad about it, its really to help one improve.

I look forward to having my work dissected also.... LarrySun, care to do the honours

Do you really want to be dissected?

LarrySun:
Do you really want to be dissected?

Sure why not? Not like its going to make any difference anyway...but I would like to see what you think.

repogirl:
Sure why not? Not like its going to make any difference anyway...but I would like to see what you think.

I think you're awesome. Case closed.

LarrySun:
I think you're awesome. Case closed.

I think the hallmark of any good write up remains the suspense and the twists and turns. That was what attracted me to the stories in this section back then. Just as someone said it shouldn't be about sex. I've read the above stated story and those two qualities are missing.

LarrySun:
Below is one story that needs to be seriously worked on: A Nice Bad Player: Forbidden Pattern. https://www.nairaland.com/2828286/nice-bad-player-forbiden-pattern



Rating: 3/10.

I know the story need plenty work am actually a terrible writer.
Am better at telling the stories,
And I love telling stories so I thought I should learn how to write too. so, the story would continue to get better as I continue. I would use the medium to track my progress.
Am even surprised you gave it a point
Its a zero to meme

theorbiters:

Hence the need for this thread and critics like you. Don't spare the hammer when you need to come down hard on a writer. Don't offer praises when you need to dish out serious criticism. I trust you can also do this.

I am looking forward to working with you on this.

Your idea is awesome. Really good. I really wish I've been more active around here.

Now I'm looking forward to 'hit-the-hammer' criticisms myself.

i find this initiative laudable but have few reservations. If the criticism is going to be done in another thread away from the original, what guarantees do we have that the writer is going to see it? I've had cases where i get a mention but dont get the notification until another person quotes the first mention. Without the writer seeing that he's been criticised, this place could as well be an avenue for gossips.

We post a reference on the writer's thread

kizzykeziah:



Your idea is awesome. Really good. I really wish I've been more active around here.

Now I'm looking forward to 'hit-the-hammer' criticisms myself.

Lol.. Trust me, the hammer is coming.

By the way, I love the efforts you put into this section. I look forward to work with you.

adegwurulez:
i find this initiative laudable but have few reservations. If the criticism is going to be done in another thread away from the original, what guarantees do we have that the writer is going to see it? I've had cases where i get a mention but dont get the notification until another person quotes the first mention. Without the writer seeing that he's been criticised, this place could as well be an avenue for gossips.

Very true. That is why the same criticism would be placed on the writer's original thread.

I am glad you are also on board with this idea.

theorbiters:

Lol.. Trust me, the hammer is coming.

By the way, I love the efforts you put into this section. I look forward to work with you.

I'd better grab a helmet then.

My efforts have been inspired fully by notable names here. Taught me how to put words together and convey emotions into writing and I'm still learning (still a terrible novice).

I also look forward to working with you. Hope to learn from you too.

adegwurulez:
i find this initiative laudable but have few reservations. If the criticism is going to be done in another thread away from the original, what guarantees do we have that the writer is going to see it? I've had cases where i get a mention but dont get the notification until another person quotes the first mention. Without the writer seeing that he's been criticised, this place could as well be an avenue for gossips.

Quoting is much more effective than mentioning.

My review on bleeding words by Kizzykeziah


I duff my heart. This is beautiful. I love the consistence in the use of present tense.
1st Paragraph: The intro make sense. The use of two-word sentence makes the heart skip.
I don't get the essence of paragraph 2&,3
4th Paragraph. You opened our visual sensory. And you made us feel their fear. But I think if you added the way the breathe came, t would aggravate our fear.

I love the foreshadows. You made us feel an impending evil was looming that we should tighten our seat belt. Indeed, I did.
As much as possible, try to use more of 'said' it keeps the reader in the story. And avoid capitalisation of expression at all cost. It distracts.

P.O.V: 1st person witness.
Psychic distance: You pulled us to your angle. You dwelt more of emotional word. And made us stay glued.
Your story definitely portrays the problem some mothers face in marriage. Also, some of the trauma some kids carry into their own marriage. This mentality will eat into these kids. The girl would see all men as bad. And any man that portrays himself as gentle would not get a good review because as much as these ladies don't want beating in their marriages. They have conformed their mind to believing it's part of every marriage.

And guys, in fear of not beating their wives, would become wimps, be friend-zoned. etc.

Thanks
My Rating: 7/10


link: https://www.nairaland.com/2830842/bleeding-words-short-writing#41515924