She try rubbish again, giv it to her like its hot!

Have you discussed this with your man?

Every family has people like that, just face your front and don't hesitate to call her out to her face if she tries that rubbish again. Don't form goody two shoes and endure her rubbish.

Who are you marrying exactly? Your Hubby's elder brother wife? or your Hubby? because seems to me you want to marry your Hubby's elder brother's wife. If she doesn't love you, what is your business? must she love you? both of you are married to different men of the same family, why the competition? women and their wahala sha smh

Tallesty1:
Have you discussed this with your man?

Yes i have discussed it with him o its a Yoruba Family and i am from the Southern part of Nigeria my man said i should just pretend whenever i am with her, i should not react, do what she wants, bla bla bla i told him i am not a slave and cannot pretend the best i can do is to distance myself from her he said it is not possible cos we will always have some family things or meetings to do with her once in a while when ever the need arises.

Cutehector:
She try rubbish again, giv it to her like its hot!

byvan03:
Every family has people like that, just face your front and don't hesitate to call her out to her face if she tries that rubbish again. Don't form goody two shoes and endure her rubbish.

They said she is the first wife in the family, she deserve respect so i should act like mumu whenever i am with her!

ClassicQueen:
Yes i have discussed it with him o its a Yoruba Family and i am from the Southern part of Nigeria she is not Yoruba either my man said i should just pretend whenever i am with her, i should not react, do what she wants, bla bla bla i told him i am not a slave and cannot pretend the best i can do is to distance myself from her he said it is not possible cos we will always have some family things or meetings to do with her once in a while when ever the need arises.

Hold your chill until u r fully one of them.

My Opinion.

bennyrazz:
Who are you marrying exactly? Your Hubby's elder brother wife? or your Hubby? because seems to me you want to marry your Hubby's elder brother's wife. If she doesn't love you, what is your business? must she love you? both of you are married to different men of the same family, why the competition? women and their wahala sha smh

She is just feeling insecure no one is competing with her i dont even have a problem with her so why is she using her reggae to spoil my blues?

Is there a title like that now? "First Wife of a Family".
looool.

Tallesty1:
Hold your chill until u r fully one of them.

My Opinion.

What if i am fully one of the and this same problem persist? Cos i know she is waiting till then.

Gaborone:
Is there a title like that now? "First Wife of a Family".

looool.

Yes o it is called "Iya Le" in Yoruba

You already give her too much attention. Ignore her as much as possible in a polite way. Don't think about her, don't create threads about her, don't talk about her and only talk to her when necessary.

Everything is fine with your fiancé and the rest of the family and this is what you should be happy about instead of letting one person give you headache even though everything else is fine. You have the power to decide how people affect you and if they affect you at all. Make use of it.

ClassicQueen:
Yes o it is called "Iya Le" in Yoruba

Interesting I must say. Thanks for educating me.

Do such things not take away simplicity from life though?

I'ld say to ignore her gossips about you, more so as you said the family already knows her.

Moving on, I wish you a marriage full of love, oneness, laughter and companionship. No Iya Le shall give you any qualms in Jesus name. Enjoy.

Mindfulness:
You already give her too much attention. Ignore her as much as possible in a polite way. Don't think about her, don't create threads about her, don't talk about her and only talk to her when necessary.

Everything is fine with your fiancé and the rest of the family and this is what you should be happy about instead of letting one person give you headache even though everything else is fine. You have the power to decide how people affect you and if they affect you at all. Make use of it.

That is exactly what i am doing thanks alot.

Gaborone:


Interesting I must say. Thanks for educating me.

Do such things not take away simplicity from life though?

I'ld say to ignore her gossips about you, more so as you said the family already knows her.

Moving on, I wish you a marriage full of love, oneness, laughter and companionship. No Iya Le shall give you any qualms in Jesus name. Enjoy.

Amen Thanks. Some first Wives in the family do possess these traits i have seen other first Wives who dont even care about such status living in peace and unity i wish this woman was same.

ClassicQueen:
She is just feeling insecure no one is competing with her i dont even have a problem with her so why is she using her reggae to spoil my blues?

because she feels you will be loved, pampered more than her in the family. You need not to be bothered about her, just be weary of her. You can as well remember her in your prayers if you are still worried.

ClassicQueen:
That is exactly what i am doing thanks alot.

You will be fine then. Stop thinking about her now and think of nice people and be happy.

bennyrazz:
because she feels you will be loved, pampered more than her in the family. You need not to be bothered about her, just be weary of her. You can as well remember her in your prayers if you are still worried.

Thanks

bennyrazz:
because she feels you will be loved, pampered more than her in the family. You need not to be bothered about her, just be weary of her. You can as well remember her in your prayers if you are still worried.

This is nice of you. I like.

ClassicQueen:
They said she is the first wife in the family, she deserve respect so i should act like mumu whenever i am with her!

Sting her like scorpion and be the first to invite CNN with lots of tears in your eyes. E get as dem dey take deal with such people, she go fear fear.

Please be exactly yourself from day 1 and create your boundary now, if not it will be difficult for you to do later. Playing mumu for as long as she lives won't be an easy job.

Don't go to the meeting whenever she's around and if she's there stand up and leave before she starts ranting. Everyone will get the message

byvan03:
Please be exactly yourself from day 1 and create your boundary now, if not it will be difficult for you to do later. Playing mumu for as long as she lives won't be an easy job.

One of the wives is doing that right now whenever the woman insult her or scold her for what she didnt do wrong, she will just kneel down immediately pleading with her not to be angry you can imagine the rubbish. Whenever this woman have issues with me, the sad part is that she wont confront me and say oya this thing you did is wrong next time, do it this way etc, instead she will go behind my back and tell some other members of the family, adding pepper and salt to it those ones will now call me on fone sayin Ms A why did you do this? its not good o next time dont do it o. When next we meet, she will just lock up as if nothing happened feeling bitter but cant voice out to me you can imagine the rubbish all these things is what i am trying to correct when being myself. So much for being a woman these days!

SAMBARRY:
Don't go to the meeting whenever she's around and if she's there stand up and leave before she starts ranting. Everyone will get the message

This act will create more problem o Thanks anyway

ClassicQueen:
This act will create more problem o Thanks anyway

by not attending a meeting YOu weren't invited? Even if you're accused can't you say you we're doing equally important things like paying your parents a visit?

You're not yet married you've started picking fault from his extended family, by the time you're fully married you'll realize you're the one doing the scattering.

By all means if you really LOVE your husband and want to marry, then go ahead and protect his interest too in the larger family. Envy exist amongst siblings how much more 2 ladies married into the same family

ClassicQueen:
One of the wives is doing that right now whenever the woman insult her or scold her for what she didnt do wrong, she will just kneel down immediately pleading with her not to be angry you can imagine the rubbish. Whenever this woman have issues with me, the sad part is that she wont confront me and say oya this thing you did is wrong next time, do it this way etc, instead she will go behind my back and tell some other members of the family, adding pepper and salt to it those ones will now call me on fone sayin Ms A why did you do this? its not good o next time dont do it o. When next we meet, she will just lock up as if nothing happened feeling bitter but cant voice out to me you can imagine the rubbish all these things is what i am trying to correct when being myself. So much for being a woman these days!

Why can't you ask her directly in one of these meetings why she doesn't try to correct you directly? Speak your mindoooo, cowardice kills. They will have no choice than to accept you the way you are or look for the wives that will roll over on the floor for the so called first wife.

You people haven't wedded yet, why exactly do you attend these meetings? It seems you threw yourself right into their activities, it breeds contempt. Anything you accept now be ready to accept it forever . A healthy distance is always necessary.

byvan03:




Why can't you ask her directly in one of these meetings why she doesn't try to correct you directly? Speak your mindoooo, cowardice kills. They will have no choice than to accept you the way you are or look for the wives that will roll over on the floor for the so called first wife.

You people haven't wedded yet, why exactly do you attend these meetings? It seems you threw yourself right into their activities, it breeds contempt. Anything you accept now be ready to accept it forever . A healthy distance is always necessary.

You dont understand i didnt say i attent meetings. What i said is that my man said i will always have one or two things to do with her in subsequent meetings when the need arises. By saying this, i mean in the future that is after marriage. It is even a Taboo and Abomination where i come from to participate, attend meetings or even Live with a man that have not paid my bride price. All these things happened when i was trying to meet his family members even his mum it wont be good if i dont get to meet them now.

My dear why are u bothering yourself. Left to me she is a non issue. They married her just like they will marry you. Give her space, be cordial don't be rude to her. Talk to her but totally ignore her insecurities with time she will soon expose herself. I know their type.

Lessons for new wife, when you get to a new family be cordial to all. Know your allies and your enemies treat them all the same. When insulted behave very maturely. With time they will expose themselves. Don't enter a new home with enemies you don't want to start on that foot.

freshvine:
You're not yet married you've started picking fault from his extended family, by the time you're fully married you'll realize you're the one doing the scattering.

By all means if you really LOVE your husband and want to marry, then go ahead and protect his interest too in the larger family. Envy exist amongst siblings how much more 2 ladies married into the same family

My Dear i am not doing any scattering i am coming in with a free mind this is a woman i met with open mind to the extent that if she see what she like on me provided its not too expensive, she will tell me she likes it i should get her one and i will gladly do eg Earrings, Perfume etc. Even her kids love and always want me to be with them... I started to distance myself from her when i noticed what she was up to.