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I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago - Family - Nairaland

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I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by solidman59(m): 7:29pm On Jan 06, 2016
I am really lost and need to ask advice on what to do. I had an affair on my wife of 16 years with a woman I love very much. She ended the affair 8 months ago because I didnt leave my wife and now I am so lost because she has moved on. She has another boyfriend who has just moved in with her and although she says she still loves me, she doesnt believe I will ever leave my wife. My biggest regret is that I stayed. I don’t love my wife anymore, she has hurt me in the past and I don’t think I will ever get my love back for her. I care about her as a person but do not love her any longer. I need help in finding a way to get the love of my life back. I dont want to be in this marriage anymore. I am afraid of moving out because I will have trouble affording it, which is the reason I am yet to move out and move on. My wife doesnt work, we have two teen kids and I am afraid that I will end up paying two households. I want to move out still and want a divorce. She wants to work it out and I dont want to, I cant even handle living here for another month let alone years to work it out. I love my kids and the only reason I am still here at all is for them. I regret not leaving months ago when I told my girl I would. I want her and I need advice on how to get her back. Should I leave my wife and then try to get her back? Should I file for divorce first? Shes the love of my life and I still cant breath without her.
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by debque(m): 7:34pm On Jan 06, 2016
u ddnt love ya wife in d first place n mehn na now I know sey some men gat tilapia brain....u even said d ex has moved on already so what dyu want us to tell u??..guy abi boy u have a wife that loves u n since Ur married already just forget bout d ex n move on too...they say marriage is for better for worse so deal with it cos nobody forced u marry in d first place..

5 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by dollyjoy(f): 7:37pm On Jan 06, 2016
Chess!!


Op why not try and make things work out?think about your children and the possible effect the divorce would have on them.

1 Like

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by nnamdibig(m): 7:41pm On Jan 06, 2016
Love of your life indeed, Before the advice, please try and remove the cobweb that is covering your eye.
You wife of 16years and you are just realizing you don't love her again after giving you two teens God is watching you in 7D.

11 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by xynerise: 7:41pm On Jan 06, 2016
Why did you marry her in the first place?

4 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by Oluwapresley(m): 7:43pm On Jan 06, 2016
What will make another woman the love of my life besides my wife, may I never see it oo.. Amen, Amen and Amen.
Kai, see wahala..
Op, I can feel ur pain.. just try and work things out with ur wife cox I dunno o. Ha

5 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by DickDastardly(m): 7:44pm On Jan 06, 2016
Errrrm...... why don't you try suicide? undecided It works tongue

2 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by kingreign(m): 8:28pm On Jan 06, 2016
A wise man once said, "when the spirit of destruction or death is knocking at a person's door to claim its victim, it first blindfolds and deafen the persons ability to see truth, life and salvation."

Hope you can relate this to your scenario OP?

7 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by Nobody: 8:38pm On Jan 06, 2016
U sound foooolish, yes. Quote me anytime anyday and anywhere

5 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by Creamish(f): 8:41pm On Jan 06, 2016
Hi,

U feel this way cos u are blinded by d "luv" u feel for ur ex-mistress. U do not want to reconcile wit ur wife because u don't want to lose d chance of ever rekindling ur romance wit ur mistress.

U say u were hurt by ur wife years back....u are hurting her now wit ur extra marital affair..yet she wants to make it work. God is trying to get DAT fish scale away from ur eyes by making ur mistress "move on" yet u are adamant on ruining ur 16yr old marriage.

Good thing u care for ur wife.. At least we can start from there. I'll advise u leave dis mirage u have made up to replace ur marriage and pray to God for the grace to restore ur marriage. U have been unfair to ur wife as well so there is no need to dwell on ur wife's past.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by KanwuliaJara: 8:43pm On Jan 06, 2016
If you decided not to leave your wife then, you should not leave now!
It is CONFUSED men like you that EVERY WOMAN should avoid!!!! kiss

7 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by bronzegoddess(f): 8:43pm On Jan 06, 2016
Which day men wan get sense tori olorun

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by raumdeuter: 9:01pm On Jan 06, 2016
bronzegoddess:
Which day men wan get sense tori olorun

Egbon OP, if u need sense, come to my house and take it.

You wan make the come come your house and nack him?

Abi you are the ex-mistress sef
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by potbelly(m): 9:24pm On Jan 06, 2016
From what i see your wife hurt you in the past and that's what you are still holding on to (unforgiveness) that's why you feel you can't love her anymore. But guess what my friend you can. if the flame on the candle stick goes off, you strike a match stick and light it up again. forgive her, see beyond her flaws and love that woman like the first time you set your eyes on her. I know its not as easy as I put it but you just have to try. It can only work if both of you agree to put an effort to repair the damage. Also please forget about the mistress (she's just a distraction) and focus on the thing I stated. God is your strength sir.

3 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by johnson232: 10:09pm On Jan 06, 2016
bronzegoddess:
Which day men wan get sense tori olorun


Something dey worry u for head?
Why men!
Address any tin to the op, na only one man op be, not men....
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by bronzegoddess(f): 10:14pm On Jan 06, 2016
johnson232:
Something dey worry u for head? Why men! Address any tin to the op, na only one man op be, not men....
Lol. Men
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by johnson232: 10:17pm On Jan 06, 2016
bronzegoddess:


Lol. Man
Fixed...
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by bomasek(m): 10:33pm On Jan 06, 2016
See how free toto don make man reason foolishly
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by MARKone(m): 10:52pm On Jan 06, 2016
Oga solid, after 16yrs of marriage, with two teenage children, you are just realising that you do not love your wife anymore, funny man. You cannot move out, because you cannot afford to cheesy, all this because of Nwa sisi that does not love you. Bros the devil you know, is better than the Angel you do not know. Face your family.

2 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by Duru009(m): 11:31pm On Jan 06, 2016
U are a matured man living in a lust world.......

Dont make sily decisions u will regret later. It can never be luv but lust.......

2 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by Duru009(m): 11:32pm On Jan 06, 2016
U are a matured man living in a lust world.

Dont make sily decisions u will regret later. It can never be luv but lust.
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by diva90: 1:17am On Jan 07, 2016
Question is what did your wife do to make you fall out of love with her ? I don't support you leaving your wife because you don't have valid reasons based on what you have told us, you are just infactuated with this younger lady who is bent on destroying your home and might even end up not marrying you at the end. I just hope that what ever choice you make works for you: good luck
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by natasha: 1:27am On Jan 07, 2016
Look at this shameless serial adulterer....akuna kuna...male LovePeddler! !!

After cheating on your wife with a runs woman (that has now moved a toy boy in to her house) u r coming here to disturb our lives with regrets.

U never begin regret o. I only feel sorry for your wife who lacks dignity to move on. Nor the foresight to realise that staying to work things out with you after every babe has seen ur rod will expose her to all manner of STDS which will result in untimely death 4 her.

Look at the effontry n arrogance u hv to declare boldly that because ur wife offended you, u choose to cheat on your marriage vows ....if everyman/woman cheated on their spouse because they felt slighted then there won't be marriages.

You want to eat your cake and hv it. Please do us and ur wife a favour, leave u here do that she can focus on people who actually want her in their lives not some manchild that's controlled by his hormones .
Perhaps she might also find peace, self worth, confidence n love again

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by Vikky014(f): 6:39am On Jan 07, 2016
solidman59:
I am really lost and need to ask advice on what to do. I had an affair on my wife of 16 years with a woman I love very much. She ended the affair 8 months ago because I didnt leave my wife and now I am so lost because she has moved on. She has another boyfriend who has just moved in with her and although she says she still loves me, she doesnt believe I will ever leave my wife. My biggest regret is that I stayed. I don’t love my wife anymore, she has hurt me in the past and I don’t think I will ever get my love back for her. I care about her as a person but do not love her any longer. I need help in finding a way to get the love of my life back. I dont want to be in this marriage anymore. I am afraid of moving out because I will have trouble affording it, which is the reason I am yet to move out and move on. My wife doesnt work, we have two teen kids and I am afraid that I will end up paying two households. I want to move out still and want a divorce. She wants to work it out and I dont want to, I cant even handle living here for another month let alone years to work it out. I love my kids and the only reason I am still here at all is for them. I regret not leaving months ago when I told my girl I would. I want her and I need advice on how to get her back. Should I leave my wife and then try to get her back? Should I file for divorce first? Shes the love of my life and I still cant breath without her.
AND HIS MONIKER IS SOLIDMAN..JST CHANGE IT TO WEAKMAN JARE
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by Exponental(m): 6:42am On Jan 07, 2016
Decide! If a woman can ask you to leave your 16 years old marriage, she doesn't appreciate marriage. Someday not too far, she will walk out on you before you walk out on her.

3 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by solidman59(m): 6:52am On Jan 07, 2016
Lol, make una calm down na. Wetin make una feel say na op the thing happen to? Me I be young guy o, I never marry sef.
Vikky014:
AND HIS MONIKER IS SOLIDMAN..JST CHANGE IT TO WEAKMAN JARE
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by Vikky014(f): 6:57am On Jan 07, 2016
solidman59:

Lol, make una calm down na. Wetin make una feel say na op the thing happen to? Me I be young guy o, I never marry sef.
lol
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by GodnGold: 7:23am On Jan 07, 2016
16 years and you still have time to think with your manhood?
You are not even buoyant enough to set up another family.
Why are you still breathing since she left you,you are supposed to be dead.
My friend,go get yourself a bottle of Whiskey,drink all of it at a go,sleep in an air tight room.
Then tell me if you can still breath or not.
Pls go and pound crayfish for your wife whilst she prepares correct vegetable soup for you.

2 Likes

Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by RockMaxi: 7:43am On Jan 07, 2016

@OP, you need to check yourself. No one needs to tell you that craze don set in.
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by janvier27(m): 9:12am On Jan 07, 2016
Seems this midlife crisis is real
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by solidman59(m): 10:37am On Jan 07, 2016
Chai, OP, I don suffer
Re: I Regret Not Leaving My Wife Months Ago by Ngokafor(f): 2:08pm On Jan 07, 2016
solidman59:
Chai, OP, I don suffer




...Serves you right!!.

..why didnt you indicate from the get-go that its not your story? You lots who love spinning stories for the sake of trolling or attention-seeking on NL would just collect insults and curses for nothing..be guided!

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