Seeing Steven Caulker sent on up front again for Liverpool got me thinking about footballers playing out of position. I’m sure we all love it when a keeper comes up for a corner at the end of a game. Or when an outfield player has to go in goal. So anyway – I wondered – what’s the worst team you can come up with, just by playing players out of position. You have to take your team’s first XI and then place them in positions they are very poorly suited to. Sort of like reverse Football Manager. Here’s my effort with Arsenal. (Alright I cheated a bit and dropped Ramsey because he’d probably be good everywhere). GK: Santi Cazorla. Phenomenal close control and a glorious ability to dribble out of tight spaces – all things you don’t need in a goalkeeper. Also five foot five. In fairness, being two-footed would be useful (why can’t all keepers kick well off both feet under pressure?) RB: Olivier Giroud. Desperately slow and one- footed…he’d get turned inside out by most wingers and probably most full-backs in the Premier League. At least would give this side some height in defence though. CB: Alexis Sanchez. He’d probably be pretty good anywhere – but his habit of dummying/stepping one way and then turning another is exactly what you don’t want your centre-back doing. Putting him in a position where he can’t joyfully run with the ball and take on defenders would be like showing your labrador videos of other dogs being taken for walks. CB: Mesut Ozil. God I love him, but he would struggle. He’s not lazy – but he really doesn’t enjoy challenging for headers. He would apply virtually no pressure to a centre forward receiving the ball with his back to goal. The thought of him marking Benteke/Lukaku/Costa makes me shudder. LB: Hector Bellerin. He’d actually probably be fine here. But I just had a space left over and couldn’t work out where to put him… DM: Theo Walcott. The defensive instincts of a drunk toddler who spotted his favourite toy in the distance. Being a DM is about being in the right place originally – not the trademark Theo guilty sprint back into position. Weak in the challenge, and for an Arsenal player often has a pretty bad first touch. The turnovers he would generate in the middle of the park would kill the team. CM: Petr Cech. As a goalkeeper he’s used to being able to see everything in front of him – but central midfield is probably the tightest area of the pitch with players potentially tackling you from all directions. Big guy though. Could be that leader in the middle of the park everyone goes on about. Playmaker: Monreal. I really like Nacho – he’s a solid defender who reads the game well. He’s (rightly) pretty unambitious in his passing however – and I think would really blunt our attack a lot in this position. Loves making an overlapping run, but you sort of sense he’s often hoping teammates don’t pass it to him. FW: Per Mertesacker. I can’t even imagine what he would do playing out wide. Possibly he’d become a sort of dead end for counter-attacks – calmly passing the ball back the way it came. Worse still – he could become our Fellaini. FW: Laurent Koscielny. Would probably do a job here and I had to slot him in somewhere, but a lot of his strengths (stepping up and intercepting, ability to time a tackle) would be largely wasted. CF: Coquelin. Never scored for Arsenal. He’s only scored twice in his career in 142 appearances. Wenger playing him at centre-forward for a game would be the ultimate trolling of football punditry…a two-fingered salute to both those who say Arsenal need another striker and those who say Arsenal need more defensive cover in midfield. Can you do better/worse?

Gosh! would love to see Per and Giroud play in this positions its gonna outright hilarious.