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What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? - Family - Nairaland

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What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by gen2genius(m): 8:59pm On Jul 07, 2009
I'm asking a SINCERE question here because I need some tips from EXPERIENCED people, preferably, faithful married men/women.

I know one of the reasons (though not a justifiable one) why some men stray after being married for some years with kids is that some of the physical attributes that used to drive them crazy in their wives would have gone (or almost) after a few pregnancies and all. You know what I mean - the once firm, perky boobs are sagged and lifeless, wrinkles and flab appear here and there etc. Yet the man remains almost intact and there are younger women flaunting their fresh, tempting features and jostling for his attention here and there.

I know women can take solace in their children when their men are becoming something else but I know the case is different with men.

So, as a man, what's the best way to continue to enjoy your woman with all the realities without getting carried away by the alluring attractions around? I'm not there yet, but I know someday I will. I just try to imagine how these noble faithful men cope. Any practical tips?
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by Sissy3(f): 9:07pm On Jul 07, 2009
maybe this is more of the reasons why the few good men marry and still stay/love a woman beyond the "physical" attraction.

@ poster

you can always take for a complete makeover, if her true beauty have faded in your eyes
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by gen2genius(m): 9:13pm On Jul 07, 2009
maybe this is more of the reasons why the few good men marry and still stay/love a woman beyond the "physical" attraction.

You're right actually. But, scientifically, men have been proven to be "visual" creatures. So, while physical attraction may not be a man's primary consideration in marrying a woman, it still matters a lot to him wink

you can always take for a complete makeover, if her true beauty have faded in your eyes

And what if she doesn't see the need for it? Besides, how do you present the issue to her?
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by Nobody: 9:32pm On Jul 07, 2009
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Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by Fhemmmy: 9:42pm On Jul 07, 2009
chaircover:

True love grows over time. The lust and initial butterflies in your tummy feeling each time you hear your partners name etc later develops into a very deep seated love. Each knowing the other inside out.

When you get to that stage in your journey of love with your partner, you don’t see physical imperfections.

Have you sometimes heard people comment that couples begin to look alike after they have been together for many years?

I have heard that before, however have no idea what it means
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by Nobody: 10:30pm On Jul 07, 2009
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Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by gen2genius(m): 10:36pm On Jul 07, 2009
Chaircover, thanks for your contributions. smiley

And I also agree with you on the issue of couples looking alike over the years - I've observed that too! wink
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by Sissy3(f): 10:38pm On Jul 07, 2009
gen2genius:


And what if she doesn't see the need for it? Besides, how do you present the issue to her?

make it kinda like a gift/present maybe on her bday, anniversary undecided
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by Igwe9(m): 11:07pm On Jul 07, 2009
gen2genius:

I'm asking a SINCERE question here because I need some tips from EXPERIENCED people, preferably, faithful married men/women.

I know one of the reasons (though not a justifiable one) why some men stray after being married for some years with kids is that some of the physical attributes that used to drive them crazy in their wives would have gone (or almost) after a few pregnancies and all. You know what I mean - the once firm, perky boobs are sagged and lifeless, wrinkles and flab appear here and there etc. Yet the man remains almost intact and there are younger women flaunting their fresh, tempting features and jostling for his attention here and there.

I know women can take solace in their children when their men are becoming something else but I know the case is different with men.

So, as a man, what's the best way to continue to enjoy your woman with all the realities without getting carried away by the alluring attractions around? I'm not there yet, but I know someday I will. I just try to imagine how these noble faithful men cope. Any practical tips?



my suggestion sounds pretty weird but could save you alot , what if i suggest you imagine in your heart that she's the most hottest sweet 16  whenever you are together, i tell you before you know it , you'd be carried by that stupid notion. cool cool smiley
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by kaypinchi(m): 7:29am On Jul 08, 2009
I know women can take solace in their children when their men are becoming something else but I know the case is different with men.
Men too can take solace in kids. Play lots of Nintendo & PS3 games with them. wink
Get involved in charitable activities.
These helps occupy your free time.
Free time- I read, is the catalyst for cheating.

Beauty is like a flower- they say, it needs nourishment constantly- your sweet words, your attention, and most especially your concerns. If you can't constantly do the previous, don't marry because of beauty.
You can also talk things over with the missus, women tend to bounce back when they know you want them to.
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by JustGood(m): 10:47am On Jul 08, 2009
One of the best ways in my opinon is to seek out the best points about your wife. There will always be something about her that is admirable. If you doubt me, let her get well dressed and go out pretending to be single. . . see if no man will show any interest tongue

Seriously, I think its an individual anything and you need to find a way of getting her to make herself always look good for you.
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by Fhemmmy: 1:11pm On Jul 08, 2009
If you love your woman enuf, mind you, you and her made those babies together, no matter how saggy the books looks, you need to love her beyond the physical, you need to appreciate her and celebrate her, or better still, i will try to make sure my woman dont over breast feed the babies, cos i wanna enjoy dem boobies till i grow old.
Boobs will never be lifeless except the nerves aint working no more.
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by gen2genius(m): 1:39pm On Jul 08, 2009
Learning fast. Thanx guys, keep 'em coming. Working towards becoming the BEST husband and father the world has ever known! wink tongue grin


Phemmy, it's not the breastfeeding that does the 'damage'; it's the PREGNANCY!  wink
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by Fhemmmy: 1:50pm On Jul 08, 2009
gen2genius:

Phemmy, it's not the breastfeeding that does the 'damage'; it's the PREGNANCY!  wink

ummmmmm, so pregnancy damage the breast?
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by GEW: 1:59pm On Jul 08, 2009
i will say develop a deep friendship and likeness for your wife.  always calculate what you are likely to lose if you cheat and is it a price worth paying?  try your best avoid places you know you are vulnerable plus when you can travel with your mrs it does protect you and make you bond more but on the other hand it can test / stress your relationship so you have to be extra tolerant when she is out of her comfort zone.

always go for someone you cant live without not someone you tolerate.

if you can get till the heart be touched by gordon and gail mcdonald and making love last forever by gary smalley. those 2 books are compulsory books for any young christian man and woman

more importantly just practice the act of loving her cos your well being depends on her happiness and being relaxed most of the time.  you get more from a happy wife.

no man ever does wrong loving his wife cos it is your first ministry.
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by Nobody: 2:08pm On Jul 08, 2009
Yet the man remains almost intact



says who?
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by douecho: 2:42pm On Jul 08, 2009
tpia.:




says who?



ask me o!Who says a man stays in tact?Its the same way a woman's body goes south after a few years that the men loose form. Pot bellies, no more ripplied arms, tires around d neck etc. If you honestly feel ur wife's losing form, tell her honestly. Be blunt, but not rude. Also, encourage her to go to a gym and dieting by joining her! Tell her wat areas u feel she should shape up and then ask her where she feels you too should shape up.then you can both work towards it together! grin

A woman's body goes through so much during pregnancy. its a herculian task for her to keep it the way she was b4/when she met you. Can u imagine hw u would look if u were the one whose body had to distend and contract through pregnancy? I'm glad you're at least trying to find a solution that does not involve your secretary wink
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by gen2genius(m): 3:16pm On Jul 08, 2009
There's a difference between "intact" and "almost intact." wink

And if we're to be truly sincere and realistic, we'll agree than women tend to lose their physical form faster than men. No one says it's their fault; but that doesn't mean we should shy away from reality wink
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by douecho: 3:28pm On Jul 08, 2009
Gen2genius,no one's shying from reality now. Your goal is to get her back intact/inshape/inform/ . It wont hurt you to get in shape wiv her! wink at least, in the long run, you too will shape up and have ur wife all 'bunny-ish' again. wink wink
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by Nobody: 4:49pm On Jul 08, 2009
gen2genius:

There's a difference between "intact" and "almost intact." wink

And if we're to be truly sincere and realistic, we'll agree than women tend to lose their physical form faster than men. No one says it's their fault; but that doesn't mean we should shy away from reality wink



what's the difference?

If by "losing their physical form faster than men" you mean pregnancy, then all I can say is if not for pregnancy you wouldnt be here typing these words.

as per the rest, join her in the gym and both of you should eat healthy.

This is the danger of marrying someone for physical looks alone.
Re: What's The Best Way To Avoid Cheating When The Physical Attractions Are Gone? by douecho: 5:06pm On Jul 08, 2009
tpia.:


This is the danger of marrying someone for physical looks alone.

Ehm,,,I dont agree.Its not only marrying for physical looks that brings this kinda thing. Like they say, guys are generally wired to be moved by what they see. This has nothing to do with how she is as a person , but that's how most guys are. At least he loves her personality well enough to care about how she looks. The physical has quite a bit to do with things sha. In my opinion.

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