₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 2,280,303 members, 4,998,425 topics. Date: Monday, 24 June 2019 at 02:34 PM

Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes (36711 Views)

Funny Nigeria Memes / Checkout These Funny Nigeria Pictures. / Some Funny Pictures To Help You Relax After Work (2) (3) (4)

(1) (2) (3) (Reply) (Go Down)

Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Tallesty1(m): 12:58pm On Feb 17, 2016
1. BIAFRA THING

Osibanjo: Baba, Olamide of YBNL Said That He runs mainland, should I go and arrest him before he starts something like biafra?

Buhari: Don't worry, I will handle his case personally.


[img]http://i.onthe.io/vllkyt4geu2s0v569.bf89d063.jpg[/img]
Buhari: Olamideee, finally we met. Are you the guy that wants to start something like biafra in mainland?

Olamide: No sir, It was a joke.

Buhari: You get luck, DSS for show you wetin fire dey do with rat ear.


2. MIKEL SCORES

Osinbajo: Mr. President, Mikel scored today?

Buhari: Which Mikel?

Osinbajo: John Mikel Obi of Nigeria

Buhari: What did you drink last night?

Osinbajo: I swear, him score. It was a corner. Mfonobong Abel Ekene Even confirmed it on his
facebook

Buhari: MY VP, That means change have catch Mikel and football

Osinbajo: Yes, change has changed Mikel

Buhari: Did Chelsea win?

Osinbajo: No, them beat them two one, last minute goal

Buhari: Did the ref give them extra extra time?

Osibanjo: No.

Buhari: That is corruption, we must fight it

Osinbajo: How?

Buhari: They must replay the match. Call EFCC Chairman for me.

30 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Tallesty1(m): 1:00pm On Feb 17, 2016
PASTOR PRAYS RECHARGE CARD INTO PHONES



Osibanjo: Baba, A pastor just prayed recharge cards into phone?

Buhari: How?

Osibanjo: He prayed and recharge card entered his member's phone

Buhari: Do they teach that in pastor school?

Osibanjo: No sir.

Buhari: Technically that is stealing, he stole from MTN and others. It is corruption, let me call obj.(on phone)OBJ, I heard that a pastor prayed credit into people's phone, did something like that happen when you're president?

OBJ: Nooo, it didn't happen, pls handle this issue carefully oo, you know that people are criticizing you already. Why not call Jonathan? Many weird things happened when he was in power.

Buhari: Ok, I don't want that man to corrupt my line but I think I need to call him, thanks for the advice, I will call him and buy a new line afterwards(hangs up, dials GEJ)Hello Jona, have you heard that a pastor prayed recharge card into people's phones?

GEJ: Yes I have.

Buhari: Is that not corruption?

GEJ: It is called magic, not corruption Mr president.

Buhari: Do you know what magic can do to a broke country? Didn't you watch Merlin?

GEJ: Magic is not corruption MR president, if you think say nah lie, ask Deziani Ali-(phone clicks)

Buhari: Nonsense, ask Deziani kee, you for tell me to go book appointment with corruption itself. (turns to Osibanjo) pls buy me a new line, this one is corrupt, pls tell the DSS to arrest the Pastor and detain him until all his church members return the looted credit.

73 Likes 10 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by mbaka0433: 1:19pm On Feb 17, 2016
make Platini,seph Blatter and Isa yahattou catch you and CHANGE
Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Tallesty1(m): 1:29pm On Feb 17, 2016
PASTOR TURNS BOTTLEd WATER TO WINE


Lai Mohamed: Mr president are you on YouTube?

Buhari: No, my Facebook is not working, what is happening on YouTube?

Lai: A PDP pastor just prayed over bottled water and it turned to wine and he sold 10 thousand bottles of it to some members of his church.

Buhari: For how much?

Lai: 2k per bottle.

Buhari: That's exploitation and corruption. Did he register the wine with NAFDAC?

Lai: No Mr President.

Buhari: Then tell DSS to arrest him immediately for selling fake and unbranded wine to vulnerable Nigerians. I will contact NAFDAC chairman immediately.

30 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Tallesty1(m): 1:33pm On Feb 17, 2016
mbaka0433:
make Platini,seph Blatter and Isa yahattou catch you and CHANGE
Lols. Wetin go happen?

41 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by DesChyko(m): 1:38pm On Feb 17, 2016
Hehehe.. Loved the first grin

6 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Nobody: 2:09pm On Feb 17, 2016
Lol.....u wont kill person wit laughter.....seriously op u tried

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Tallesty1(m): 8:38am On Feb 18, 2016
DesChyko:
Hehehe.. Loved the first grin
I got that mikel scores from Facebook, it made my daygrin

2 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Tallesty1(m): 8:42am On Feb 18, 2016
praizeblog:
Lol.....u wont kill person wit laughter.....seriously op u tried
Had mixed feeling while posting them cause Nigerians can twist and read meaning into anything.



Oga Lalasticlala, did I break the law of our Land?

1 Like 3 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Nobody: 8:45am On Feb 18, 2016
Tallesty1:
Had mixed feeling while posting them cause Nigerians can twist and read meaning into anything.



Oga Lalasticlala, did I break the law of our Land?
nasooo lala no go vex

1 Like 2 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by jumper524(m): 10:50am On Feb 18, 2016
Change rilli catch mikel ooo d guy don change

1 Like

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by dan9ice(m): 2:47pm On Feb 18, 2016
Wahala they big time

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by TippyTop(m): 4:16pm On Feb 18, 2016
My personal favs







15 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by brownjulie(f): 4:16pm On Feb 18, 2016
dry jokes

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by tolexy007(m): 4:18pm On Feb 18, 2016
cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Sunnypar(m): 4:18pm On Feb 18, 2016
Ebele Ogbuanu the Hunter goes into the bush, kills a very big Antelope and sells it to Mama Ngozi who sells peppersoup. He sold the game for N1,000. He told mama Ngozi to make sure the peppersoup is well made because he is coming along with his friends in the evening to enjoy themselves. When they got there that evening, they ordered for plates of peppersoup. Ebele bought the head for N500, he bought the four legs for four of his friends at N500 each, another person ate the intestines as assorted, he paid N500 for it, three other people also ate N500 worth of peppersoup each. The hunter ended up spending N4,500 to buy what he sold to Mama Ngozi for N1,000. Mama Ngozi made a cool N3,500 profit just by cooking (processing) the meat and selling it back to where she bought it from. That is 350% profit and yet she still had excess remaining to sell to other customers. So who is wise and who is foolish here?

Let us relate this story to our dear country Nigeria. We sell crude oil to UK at $110 per barrel and we are very happy; so happy that we spend the money lavishly, and then go back immediately to UK to buy the processed crude oil in the form of Kerosene, PMS, AGO, Tar, petroleum jelly, wax, petrochemicals etc. At the end of the day we end up buying these products at 12 times the cost of what we sold them. How is it possible Nigeria is not broke. Nigeria sure has been broke since 53 years ago.

Culled

Ayeni Ekundayo
(Inbound Marketer |Google Certified AdWords Fundamentals, Search Advertising, Display Adverts)
https://ng.linkedin.com/in/dayoayeni

33 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by ITSAWRAPP: 4:19pm On Feb 18, 2016
Did I smilegrin grin grin grin

1 Like

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by eluquenson(m): 4:20pm On Feb 18, 2016

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by gokay11(m): 4:20pm On Feb 18, 2016
Not bad
Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by davodyguy: 4:20pm On Feb 18, 2016
funny
Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Guyman02: 4:21pm On Feb 18, 2016
Not Funny, a Yoruba man attempting to be funny because of hatred of Biafra, Biafra, biafra, IPOB, IPOB, IPOB. Lives of peaceful demonstrators have been lost needlessly on the Biafra issue and its not funny. So starting your so called joke with Biafra is a big FAIL! angry angry angry

3 Likes

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by saasala(m): 4:21pm On Feb 18, 2016
grin

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by NaLaugh: 4:21pm On Feb 18, 2016
cheesy
Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Nobody: 4:22pm On Feb 18, 2016
CBN GOV: Ur Excellency, d naira is still going down against d dollar ooo despite d measures we have taken so far. What do we do?

PMB: kwo!! are u asking me? I tot u have cerfiticate, so u shud knw wat to do. Me, I dont have cerfiticate. if its going down, then bring it up by force.

10 Likes

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by eluquenson(m): 4:24pm On Feb 18, 2016

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by leksy07(m): 4:24pm On Feb 18, 2016
LOL

1 Like

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by Godsonkemz(m): 4:24pm On Feb 18, 2016
We need more of these jokes

1 Like

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by sayyid(m): 4:24pm On Feb 18, 2016
funny sha

1 Like

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by VocalWalls: 4:24pm On Feb 18, 2016
Sunnypar:
Ebele Ogbuanu the Hunter goes into the bush, kills a very big Antelope and sells it to Mama Ngozi who sells peppersoup. He sold the game for N1,000. He told mama Ngozi to make sure the peppersoup is well made because he is coming along with his friends in the evening to enjoy themselves. When they got there that evening, they ordered for plates of peppersoup. Ebele bought the head for N500, he bought the four legs for four of his friends at N500 each, another person ate the intestines as assorted, he paid N500 for it, three other people also ate N500 worth of peppersoup each. The hunter ended up spending N4,500 to buy what he sold to Mama Ngozi for N1,000. Mama Ngozi made a cool N3,500 profit just by cooking (processing) the meat and selling it back to where she bought it from. That is 350% profit and yet she still had excess remaining to sell to other customers. So who is wise and who is foolish here?
Let us relate this story to our dear country Nigeria. We sell crude oil to UK at $110 per barrel and we are very happy; so happy that we spend the money lavishly, and then go back immediately to UK to buy the processed crude oil in the form of Kerosene, PMS, AGO, Tar, petroleum jelly, wax, petrochemicals etc. At the end of the day we end up buying these products at 12 times the cost of what we sold them. How is it possible Nigeria is not broke. Nigeria sure has been broke since 53 years ago.
Culled
Ayeni Ekundayo
(Inbound Marketer |Google Certified AdWords Fundamentals, Search Advertising, Display Adverts)
https://ng.linkedin.com/in/dayoayeni

This sums everything up...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by NobleAngell(f): 4:24pm On Feb 18, 2016
Hahahahaha

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Some Funny Nigeria Political Jokes by BolaLFC(f): 4:25pm On Feb 18, 2016
Dry

2 Likes 2 Shares

(1) (2) (3) (Reply)

Caption This Hilarious Photo Of This Man, / Pictures Relating To Bus Conductors In Nigeria / Conversation Between A Guy And A Girl On BBM..............,,,,, Very Funny

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2019 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 83
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.