Can you stop a man from cheating? – Joy Ehonwa

Last week, I was at the pharmacy with a friend who, like me, recently lost a bit of weight. Our pharmacist was commending us, and tacked on something along the lines of “Una no wan gree at all o, una no want make oga look outside.”
Growing up, I knew a lovely lady whom everyone adored. She was beautiful, the kind of beautiful that made people say God created her on a Sunday. Tall, shapely, with creamy skin that glowed, she was also intelligent, classy, and brilliant at her craft. She was the kind of woman I thought no man could ever have reason to cheat on. Her death came as a shock, and her husband sat on the floor surrounded by her photos and bawled like a baby, his head cradled in his hands. When he remarried soon after and I learnt that his new wife had been his side chick, everything I thought I knew about cheating turned to vapour.
Every time someone insinuated that a man’s cheating had something to do with the way his wife looked or did not look, my mouth curled into a yinmu. If Uncle could cheat on Aunty, IT Girl that she was, then what are we saying? My instinctive reaction to the kind of statement my pharmacist made is something like “Na God o, no amount of effort can keep a straying man o, man wey go cheat, go still cheat.”
I mean, does anyone remember when Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock? Or how Michael Douglas got cancer of the mouth from eating kitty that did not belong to his pretty wife Catherine Zeta-Jones?
However, on this day, I didn’t say that. Why? I had coincidentally been wondering if perhaps there are men who would not have strayed if their wives had done certain things. Yes, there are men who will stray no matter what, but is this the answer we must fling in the face of anyone who suggests that a woman make some kind of effort to “keep” her man? Isn’t there some kind of balance? For instance, anyone who is honest will admit that a wife whose emotional or sexual needs are chronically neglected is vulnerable to temptation, regardless of how fine her man is. Doesn’t the same apply for men?
If he needs to talk and his wife won’t listen to him, or he has sexual needs his wife won’t meet, or she lets herself go and becomes unattractive, isn’t it the same thing? None of these things are excuses to cheat, really, and none of them justify infidelity, but what if the reality is that they predispose to adultery? And what if, that being the case, there are actually some things you can do to affair-proof your marriage? Would you be open to it? Would you do it proudly without feeling ashamed of making the effort?
We all know what a shameful thing it is these days to be caught trying to “keep” a man. Yet I believe that outside of the context of chauvinism, we need to keep each other, husbands and wives. We can’t just take wedding vows and then expect them to stay with us, period.
So, yes, you may do heaven and earth for a man, and literally bend over backwards to please him (this is not a real sex position please, do not try this at home!) and still have him cheat on you with someone else. And there are also men who are terribly unfulfilled in their marriages and yet they do not seek satisfaction of any kind elsewhere. These people really do exist. If a man is going to cheat, he’s going to, but what about the one who never planned to?
Building the kind of marriage where neither partner is vulnerable to temptation involves a huge investment of time and emotional capital. It also involves two people who want to honour their vows and stay faithful. Marriage is one hell of a needy potted plant. Forget to water it and give it sunlight and it starts to die. Friends, I say, feel free to do whatever it takes to make your plant bloom and flourish. There’s no shame in that.

http://www.sabinews.com/?p=33599

yes I can stop Acidosis from cheating

Oyind17:
yes I can stop Acidosis from cheating

I nor dey cheat oo

It's like trying to stop a waterfall... a cheat that wants to cheat will definitely cheat. In our world today, men & women cheat one way or the other, it's all in the mind.

Acidosis:


I nor dey cheat oo

Lol, you sound like a cheater to me

No one can stop anyone from doing anything, except the person himself.

A man who has decided to cheat can never be stopped except he repented by himself. Likewise the woman.



P.S........only responding based on the title, yet to read the article.

A man than will cheat will cheat.. Nothing/No one can stop him

It has come to my notice that many nairalanders comment without reading first.

Please tell me why a man that the wife denied s.x ,food and nags at every time,Wouldn't think of cheating on her e.g you returned home from work by 8pm that's the time she will ask your son to go to the kitchen and prepare food for the husband if you ask her why preparing it now she will flare up.please kindly advise the way out of this situation, will the man cheat or not

Any man who has an opportunity to cheat but didn't is either poor, jew or has low sex drive.

As God like praise so, if you stop praising him while your neighbour still does, what do you think will happen?

iamlimitless:
Can you stop a man from cheating? – Joy Ehonwa

Last week, I was at the pharmacy with a friend who, like me, recently lost a bit of weight. Our pharmacist was commending us, and tacked on something along the lines of “Una no wan gree at all o, una no want make oga look outside.”
Growing up, I knew a lovely lady whom everyone adored. She was beautiful, the kind of beautiful that made people say God created her on a Sunday. Tall, shapely, with creamy skin that glowed, she was also intelligent, classy, and brilliant at her craft. She was the kind of woman I thought no man could ever have reason to cheat on. Her death came as a shock, and her husband sat on the floor surrounded by her photos and bawled like a baby, his head cradled in his hands. When he remarried soon after and I learnt that his new wife had been his side chick, everything I thought I knew about cheating turned to vapour.
Every time someone insinuated that a man’s cheating had something to do with the way his wife looked or did not look, my mouth curled into a yinmu. If Uncle could cheat on Aunty, IT Girl that she was, then what are we saying? My instinctive reaction to the kind of statement my pharmacist made is something like “Na God o, no amount of effort can keep a straying man o, man wey go cheat, go still cheat.”
I mean, does anyone remember when Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock? Or how Michael Douglas got cancer of the mouth from eating kitty that did not belong to his pretty wife Catherine Zeta-Jones?
However, on this day, I didn’t say that. Why? I had coincidentally been wondering if perhaps there are men who would not have strayed if their wives had done certain things. Yes, there are men who will stray no matter what, but is this the answer we must fling in the face of anyone who suggests that a woman make some kind of effort to “keep” her man? Isn’t there some kind of balance? Fo[b]r instance, anyone who is honest will admit that a wife whose emotional or sexual needs are chronically neglected is vulnerable to temptation, regardless of how fine her man is. Doesn’t the same apply for men?[/b]
If he needs to talk and his wife won’t listen to him, or he has sexual needs his wife won’t meet, or she lets herself go and becomes unattractive, isn’t it the same thing? None of these things are excuses to cheat, really, and none of them justify infidelity, but what if the reality is that they predispose to adultery? And what if, that being the case, there are actually some things you can do to affair-proof your marriage? Would you be open to it? Would you do it proudly without feeling ashamed of making the effort?
We all know what a shameful thing it is these days to be caught trying to “keep” a man. Yet I believe that outside of the context of chauvinism, we need to keep each other, husbands and wives. We can’t just take wedding vows and then expect them to stay with us, period.
So, yes, you may do heaven and earth for a man, and literally bend over backwards to please him (this is not a real sex position please, do not try this at home!) and still have him cheat on you with someone else. And there are also men who are terribly unfulfilled in their marriages and yet they do not seek satisfaction of any kind elsewhere. These people really do exist. If a man is going to cheat, he’s going to, but what about the one who never planned to?
Building the kind of marriage where neither partner is vulnerable to temptation involves a huge investment of time and emotional capital. It also involves two people who want to honour their vows and stay faithful. Marriage is one hell of a needy potted plant. Forget to water it and give it sunlight and it starts to die. Friends, I say, feel free to do whatever it takes to make your plant bloom and flourish. There’s no shame in that.

http://www.sabinews.com/?p=33599

There's a clear divide between love and sex for men. Only religious leaning and moral ethics hold a man from cheating.

There's absolutely nothing the woman can do about it. Her beauty, sexual skills and homeliness can't stand in the way.

Those attributes can only make the man love and cherish her, but for most men love and cherish doesn't relate to sex.

Only the man can stop himself, not his love for his wife.

iamlimitless:
Can you stop a man from cheating? – Joy Ehonwa

Last week, I was at the pharmacy with a friend who, like me, recently lost a bit of weight. Our pharmacist was commending us, and tacked on something along the lines of “Una no wan gree at all o, una no want make oga look outside.”
Growing up, I knew a lovely lady whom everyone adored. She was beautiful, the kind of beautiful that made people say God created her on a Sunday. Tall, shapely, with creamy skin that glowed, she was also intelligent, classy, and brilliant at her craft. She was the kind of woman I thought no man could ever have reason to cheat on. Her death came as a shock, and her husband sat on the floor surrounded by her photos and bawled like a baby, his head cradled in his hands. When he remarried soon after and I learnt that his new wife had been his side chick, everything I thought I knew about cheating turned to vapour.
Every time someone insinuated that a man’s cheating had something to do with the way his wife looked or did not look, my mouth curled into a yinmu. If Uncle could cheat on Aunty, IT Girl that she was, then what are we saying? My instinctive reaction to the kind of statement my pharmacist made is something like “Na God o, no amount of effort can keep a straying man o, man wey go cheat, go still cheat.”
I mean, does anyone remember when Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock? Or how Michael Douglas got cancer of the mouth from eating kitty that did not belong to his pretty wife Catherine Zeta-Jones?
However, on this day, I didn’t say that. Why? I had coincidentally been wondering if perhaps there are men who would not have strayed if their wives had done certain things. Yes, there are men who will stray no matter what, but is this the answer we must fling in the face of anyone who suggests that a woman make some kind of effort to “keep” her man? Isn’t there some kind of balance? For instance, anyone who is honest will admit that a wife whose emotional or sexual needs are chronically neglected is vulnerable to temptation, regardless of how fine her man is. Doesn’t the same apply for men?
If he needs to talk and his wife won’t listen to him, or he has sexual needs his wife won’t meet, or she lets herself go and becomes unattractive, isn’t it the same thing?[s] None of these things are excuses to cheat, really,[/s] and none of them justify infidelity, but what if the reality is that they [size=16pt]predispose[/size] to adultery? [/b]And what if, that being the case, there are actually some things you can do to affair-proof your marriage? [b]Would you be open to it? Would you do it proudly without feeling ashamed of making the effort?
We all know what a shameful thing it is these days to be caught trying to “keep” a man. Yet I believe that outside of the context of chauvinism, we need to keep each other, husbands and wives. We can’t just take wedding vows and then expect them to stay with us, period.
So, yes, you may do heaven and earth for a man, and literally bend over backwards to please him (this is not a real sex position please, do not try this at home!) and still have him cheat on you with someone else. And there are also men who are terribly unfulfilled in their marriages and yet they do not seek satisfaction of any kind elsewhere. These people really do exist. If a man is going to cheat, he’s going to, but what about the one who never planned to?
Building the kind of marriage where neither partner is vulnerable to temptation involves a huge investment of time and emotional capital. It also involves two people who want to honour their vows and stay faithful. Marriage is one hell of a needy potted plant. Forget to water it and give it sunlight and it starts to die. Friends, I say, feel free to do whatever it takes to make your plant bloom and flourish. There’s no shame in that.

http://www.sabinews.com/?p=33599

Very good article!
Hopefully wise women and a few dumb princesses will read and gain some insight!


Men are prone to cheating. It's thier nature. It takes a LOT of self control not to cheat. And no amount of propaganda will change that. However there are means to make it easier on the man not to cheat. If u profess to really love your man then you will care enough to do what you can to ensure he doesn't stray. If you don't care enough about your man or if your love na only for mouth and what you can gain from him when you haven't contributed anything meaningful to the relationship beside your honeypot, then please sweeeerve left and stay single!

Oyind17:
Lol, you sound like a cheater to me

You can't, a man that would cheat, will cheat no matter what

Oh thanks, this plant must bloom and flourish o! Trespassers be warned!!!

kelechi50:
Please tell me why a man that the wife denied s.x ,food and nags at every time,Wouldn't think of cheating on her e.g you returned home from work by 8pm that's the time she will ask your son to go to the kitchen and prepare food for the husband if you ask her why preparing it now she will flare up.please kindly advise the way out of this situation, will the man cheat or not

Eat out and come home to sleep.




Cheating solves no problem,nothing good ever comes out of it mehn!

@op much ado about nothing.

But you write well...well done!

You know, girls cheat a lot too... I had such an awful situation with my ex. I suspected her of cheating on me, but she refused to talk about it at all. So I just used the phone monitoring app from Spyrix in order to read her chats. It turned out that she slept with my good friend. I was frustrated about it... I can't get over it even now

I like this post.
Especially this aspect.

Yet I believe that outside of the context of chauvinism, we need to keep each other, husbands and wives. We can’t just take wedding vows and then expect them to stay with us, period.

Problem with it is that opens doors for closet cheats and apologists to try to exonerate themselves of blame.
We know they wouldn't say the same if the genders were reversed. Which is another problem of its own that people refuse to acknowledge.

women are also prone to cheating.

Let's also encourage these dudes to try to keep their women from straying.
Temptation is real for everyone.

Ahen

Jack188:
You know, girls cheat a lot too... I had such an awful situation with my ex. I suspected her of cheating on me, but she refused to talk about it at all. So I just used the phone monitoring app from Spyrix in order to read her chats. It turned out that she slept with my good friend. I was frustrated about it... I can't get over it even now

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