tpia.:

hope she has good qualifications for future employment.

Dont know how long they can live like cat and mouse.
[/quote
She has good qualifications but she had earlier made sacrifice of giving up her job when he used it as an excuse dat she doesn't ave time for the home, She now works but can't save on the job cos pay is low,,,she is just using the place to gain experience, Getting a new one is her topmost piority now cos she has two children, hence her patience,
And she wldn't be accepted to stay with any member of her family cos the family norm is dat once u are married, u are not expected back to ur family house,,,,so she has made a lot of sacrifices, as well as suffered for this man, he simply betrayed her and took her forgranted.
Also she can't leave her two children, so she is thinking about their welfare as well, so its not really about her but her children, she says she owes them the duty to give explanation and proof of her actions to them when they are older cos of the lies she knows wld be given to them,
I'm trying so hard to be patient and act normal towards her but honestly, am scared 4 her cos she has been warned about marrying into dat family, she later got to know after marriage dat the hubby's family were actually fetish, they are mostly educated illiterates and full time illiterates.
So she finds it difficult to relate with them,all what they are after is their own selfish ideas/blackmail
AM PRESENTLY WITH HER CV, THROWING IT ON ANY AVAILABLE VACANCY ON NAIRALAND ,

dean2725 link=topic=295249.msg4171454#msg4171454 date=1247334665:

@ poster
are you sure ur cousin has not done something bad to hurt him in the past. sometime will hurt people without knowing it and it can be worse if the victim doesnt open up. however, if this is not the case, it i suggest u tell ur cousin to go spiritual. go to pastor or something and let her talk to God on her own personally. that still fail??. . .then she needs not only run but flee. marriage is to enjoy not to endure, even if there is need to endure, i think 5yrs can be too much without any sight of changes in future.

She never did anything to hurt him but has now been creating senseless lies which makes him sound more ridiculous to justify his actions towards her, which narrow minded pple can believe or some wld rather support him cos they felt dat if she was truelly going through such claims,then what is she still doing with him?
She as prayed her heart out, fallen into depression and almost lost her life cos she allowed everything to get to her, making her ave raised b.p, insomnia and stress, dat was b4 she got wise to get proofs of his actions for keeps,so as to backup her claims for the time she wld be ready to start over or just in case the children ask when they are matured, they are still too young but she was worried dat its already affecting them, my cuzin herself was raised in a broken home,which makes it sooooooo sad for her, this was what she dread most, seperation/divorce
She doesn't trust telling anyone cos when she did,the elderly woman whom she felt he respected simply said he is a man,he can cheat and dat she mustn't tell pple cos they wld laugh at her, in fact blamed her as the society usually blames a woman and yet siding him dat he cldn't ave and even helped in keeping the confrontation letter which my cuz wrote to her hubby,which he beat her for,,,,the content showed she had evidence and she knew all his sluts and his plans 4 her

dean2725:

@ poster
are you sure ur cousin has not done something bad to hurt him in the past. sometime will hurt people without knowing it and it can be worse if the victim doesnt open up. however, if this is not the case, it i suggest u tell ur cousin to go spiritual. go to pastor or something and let her talk to God on her own personally. that still fail??. . .then she needs not only run but flee. marriage is to enjoy not to endure, even if there is need to endure, i think 5yrs can be too much without any sight of changes in future.