after going through your write-up I just thank God stammerers don't write the way they talk.

Op you're not alone in this o.
Teenage girls of these days dey fear me o.
I also have a teenage sis that has become unruly...

and you seriously expect good advice from NL... shes doing what normal 14 yrs old do nowadays, when we people start getting it that we no longer in that era where youths are still in darkness and fear elders, this is the modern era that should be handle in modern ways.. .

Well i onec thought of that as i was growing, a d 2nd born, been a male, i cook, i wash plates, i do all sort of thing. Evry sunday after church odas run home to go out bt i run home to cook. Many things that i cnt rember, but then i thought the hates me. But now, i knw d rili loves me. They loves me so much.
The only thing u will do is to advice her to keep away from bad frds.

Try get her a small phone and communicate with her.
with this you can monitor her movement to some extent and information can also be gotten tru their.
and tell her say
if their body touch omoge she, go get belle.
so she should reserve totorito

I genuinely see nothing wrong with any of her actions. Children as young as 3 paint their nails. It's seen as a girly/creative thing.

Some Nigerians just enjoy destroying people's creativity. No wonder the country is in such state.

Think and behave like oyibo people- they learnt everything from our fellow Egyptian black ancestors.

Off to blaze with the aliens and angels bless up!

martyns303:
I also have a 14yr old sister, I left the country when she was 10. We used to be very tight, when I came back I noticed she is always having issues with my mom about what to wear, my mom is the over protective type, even me that's an adult she still treats me as a kid.

What I did was to create a very very tight bond with my lil sis, we are so tight she tells me everything.

From what you have said, it appears to me ur kid sis is by herself, big bro is not around, u are not around, mom has to work, Dad probably don't relate well with her. So create a tight bond with ur sister. It may be difficult because of ur job, get her phone and call her every day, talk with her, let her know she is ur person and stop treating her like a 5yr old u guys can push around else u will end up pushing her away.

Buy her phone? She go use am call her boyfriend b4 u know it dem don begin exchange nude pics

SHE FIT DON DEY CHOP BIG CUCUMBER SEF

Draw her close to you. Its the only way she can feel loved again coz she seemed to have formed an opinion(they hate her) about your parents. Dont get her a fone it will worsen the whole thing.

The problem is peer pressure. Ask ur sister the type of friends she keep both male and female try as much as possible to cut off some of her bad friends

Hmmm, two things, first what is it with people creating new monikers when they want to share a story? Are you ashamed or what?

Secondly, glad you see these behaviours as part of her growing up process. Its bad and unfortunate. All you can do is continue to admonish her and if you believe in , keep praying for her.

So because of dis small issue u write dis long epistle,abeg next time,convert dt one thousand naira gift u give her to buy good cains,
When next u come visiting,u place all d cains on d table,tell her to choose any 3 of her choice,Lock up d room,throw away d key..so dt nobody will enter

Ko wa lu jagba jagba si lara(beat am like say tmao no dey)..u c dt her diary wey she dey use write nonsense,she go convert am to d tailored timetable u set for her,
From skool,to mums shop,if posibu do d distribution,when she gets home,assg next,eat,den revise and sleep.
U will warn her sternly dt if I hear peren again,wa je jagba jagba iya

wadetaw202:


I think the matter is settled already. How?

When you reach home, take her out to an eatry or any private place where the two of you can be alone and relaxed.


Then tell her the story of how you kept a diary when you were her age and tell her about the naughty things you wrote in your diary.

Tell her you thought your parents didn't like you because of the way they disciplined you.

Tell the story in the most relaxed and off-handed manner possible; nothing rigid, nothing scary. I really hope you are a good story teller.

Purpose of your story is to let her know that you know how she feels, that you have been there before and to let her realize that the punishments and corrections she is receiving are for her own good.

I Dont know the level of friendship between the two of you presently, but I think you should make friends with her more.

Some peeps here adviced that you should let her be, but i think this is wrong. You and your parents have responsibility over her and you must not fail in this responsibility for the bogus fear of your sister leaving home.

Then I think your serving brother should be closer to her too. She may find it easy to play, talk and befriend your brother more than you.

Thanks alot, I would try this as well...I really hope it works

ly ha down flog ha 32 mk she sabi bodi

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

Since you Christian, quote from Bible to suit her bad behaviors...

wadetaw202:


I think the matter is settled already. How?

When you reach home, take her out to an eatry or any private place where the two of you can be alone and relaxed.


Then tell her the story of how you kept a diary when you were her age and tell her about the naughty things you wrote in your diary.

Tell her you thought your parents didn't like you because of the way they disciplined you.

Tell the story in the most relaxed and off-handed manner possible; nothing rigid, nothing scary. I really hope you are a good story teller.

Purpose of your story is to let her know that you know how she feels, that you have been there before and to let her realize that the punishments and corrections she is receiving are for her own good.

I Dont know the level of friendship between the two of you presently, but I think you should make friends with her more.

Some peeps here adviced that you should let her be, but i think this is wrong. You and your parents have responsibility over her and you must not fail in this responsibility for the bogus fear of your sister leaving home.

Then I think your serving brother should be closer to her too. She may find it easy to play, talk and befriend your brother more than you.

Thank you 'cos your comment is so on point

Your sister sounds like someone who is really crying for attention, she feels neglected by your parents hence the need to follow friends trend, have a bf who gives you money because obviously at home they are not giving you enough, paint nails like the rest of the crew and go to deeper life camp with somebody so I would be liked more.

The truth about journals is because there is a voice crying out to be heard. We need someone to talk to and there is none. You say you try to be close and stuff but trust you me, all your doing is being the older sister not a friend.

You can't slap her for painting her nails, she feels its enhancing her beauty. What I do with my not so perfect 18 year old sister is I tell her stories about life relating to whatever issue we are dealing with at that moment. I don't try to sound like a hero to her, I've learned also not to play her mother, but I have learned to come down to her level of thinking. I've been there, done that, what did I learn from it? Your teenage years can't be compared to this, let her be the kid and be her friend. Close the gap, even if your far you can still be her bestie.

My sister called me last festive and asked me what is my opinion on her having a boyfriend. My answer was very simple;

"If you want to have a child who will not enjoy the love of a mother and father living in the same house, quit school and your dream of going to Harvard and kiss your scholarship goodbye. Ready to face your caregiver's rage and be thrown out of the house pregnant, be my guest my darling." Case closed, we just talk about what to expect from her future bf, hubby but for later.

Summary, cover the gap with friendship, the one you would always be ontop of her list when she needs someone.

I have a 17 yrs old younger sister and she's in ss3 preparing 4 her waec am 5 yrs older dan her, my mum base whr she works and comes once in a while to visit, and i hv older siblings who are working too bt because am seeking for admission in2 one of the tertiary institutions am always at home and spend more time wit her, i noticed sum months ago dat she was seeing a boy on the street and decided to have a heart to heart chat wit her which she admitted and promised to end the relationship, dat day she even asked to make food 4 me ;Dimagine dat!.

Bt i didn't stop der also went and had a heart to heart talk wit the boys mum to talk to her son to stay away frm her so dat she can focus and make her 5 credits in waec and it worked, now she's focus and reads.

Being at home made me realize dat girls needs der parents presence or atleast an older sibling they respect on ground to monitor their behaviours.

I beat her up yesterday because she ran an erran for a guy in the neighbourhood who lives alone and is always wit friends and i made her realize dat she could get raped by one of the boys in the room....although she's beefing me bt she will realize is for her own good sumday.

My advice is...if u don't want her to be wayward sum1 has to be on ground to see to her affairs because ur parents have aged and ur mum is busy bt one of u need to be there cos giving her money is nt enough.

And don't give her money all the time, she's too young to be getting exposed to money, food is enough!.

to be honest with you,this is a very tough and puzzling stage in a young girl's life.when I was about 14-about 18 I always felt my mum was too harsh on me I mean just me,i'll be queried for nothing even, so i'll tell you your sister is feeling INSECURE probably because your mum may be too strict with her, I never had friends even in secondary school,mum won't hear of that,I had only an elder bro 10 yrs older than I,i was always indoors, and till date I hardly relate with people well because I don't know anything about the outside world
-Please build a tight bond with your sister
-take her out whenever you're around
-tell her about boys,the good ,the bad and the ugly
-advice her to join social stuffs, sports,entertainment, writing, drawing
-support her in whatever skill or talent she has,let her make use of it for good
-point out pregnant teenagers to her and advice her positively
-she should have company,it may be your don't let her have time to herself
-most importantly ,PRAY FOR HER!

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

op dnt u tink ure being ova protective be ha friend nd at the samd tym b ha best pal

Nlaand, what is wrong with a 14 year old painting her nails?


She is in her teens. It is normal for her however do not stop talking to her. Do not beat her, what she needs is more education. You could try by sharing your own experiences and thought process at that age.

yetseyi:
I don't think a 14year old is too old to be spanked although I m not an advocate of beating but sometimes it does reset the brain to default, ejecting all that stuff that is making her disobey her parents.

She should be able to listen to simple instructions, its not too much to ask her not to paint her nails, its not too much to ask her to help your mum.

Continue talking to her and she should please discard that boyfriend before something happens. A lot of times when these small girls begin to have boyfriends they lose respect for those in authority. She should not give her elderly parents HBP.

Times have changed sha. I have noticed this trend, a lot of children born 2000 upward seem to be quite disobedient, some parents are having a tough time with these kids, listen to simple instructions they wont.

if u spank her .. shez just gonna gt bad nd deb talk to her friends abt hw shz treated and trust mi she will gt d wrong advice wch she must obey.... for mi sha i feel she needs a lik freedom.. if she wanna play let her go .. but b4 u do tell her d dengers she might face .. and trynna know her friends ..... dont always act like u own her .. growing children gets sick of dat .. i remba i hated eribody in my family cos dey caged mi...tinking it was d way to train a Godfearing child .. guess wat wen i was in my 200 level i smoked nd had sex cos i was free.. like na once i taste d igbo o...
LESSON IS
give her freedom.. nd she will act well
give her a open hand nd heart.. she will tell u secrets
dont act as a lord over her/ being so authoritative and u will be her best friend

JUST TRYNNA MAKE COMMON SENSE

some teenagers tend to think they hate their parents if they dont have their way. some even feel they are adopted or something for being treated in various ways. its just a phase, nothing to worry . in time she would outgrow it

Nlaand:
Hello parents and friends,

I used another user name.....I have a 14 yr old only sis who is getting out of hand. My parents are quite aged(mom - close to 60, dad - above 70 and challenged health-wise). Mom and sis are the only ones taking care of him. My brother serving while I work far from home. I go home once or twice in a month as I also do some casual jobs apart from my job during the weekends to make ends meet. P.S: I am the first girl and first born, so the need to hustle as I send money home and all. I am in mid 20s.

Each time I go home, I make sure I educate/groom my younger sis on how to behave. I educate her on sex education, composture as a woman, what and what-nots. I inquire about her academics, spiritual life, I ask about her friends and I know a few of them. I try my possible best to talk to her and obviously she tells me only what she feels I should know. I even give her pocket money every month #1000 just to encourage her and know I care about her which I belive she understands.

Last weekend when I went home, I noticed the way she spoke to my mom and I corrected her. I also noticed she painted her nails and I have corrected her on this issue for a while. I have advised her severally and given her strong reasons why she should not indulge in such yet. I understand what puberty means as I am a peer educator. My mom resorted to beating her when she goes wrong but I explained to my mom not to do that all the time cos she is in her puberty stage, she is prone to misbehaving. I advised she should talk to her which she adhered to but my sis has refused to listen. On getting home this weekend, I was infuriated when I saw her painted nails. I had to choice than to smack her. I asked her why she has refused to obey my instructions despite all advice and corrections, she didnt say anthing.

My neighbor came around and also advised her to stop such act. Just today, while at work, my mom chatted with me that she saw a diary my sister wrote confessing that she hates her parents because last year they refused to allow her go to Deeper life camp. Pls note that we are not members of that church but over the years, my mom has always allowed her go for their youth camp because its not far from us and its within the area but last year, dad had attack and mom sells egg which she distrubutes and she needed my sister to assist her,hence, her refusal. My sister told me about it and I explained to her that mom needs her more that period, and I assured her she would go this year.

Alas, mom just saw it in her diary today where she stated that she hates her parents because they refused her and for some silly reasons which bores down to correcting her. She also mentioned that she has a boyfriend but she doesnt like the boy because he refused to give her money.

Please note that, she takes #70 to school each day plus food. Even in our financial situation, my mom tries her best to satisfy her children. My sister even saves the money I send to her and buy meaningful things with it. She also wrote in her diary where mom beat and corrects herand she doesnt like it.

Infact, I just jokingly waved the whole thing when my mom told me in tears today because I dont want to worsen the whole thing. I told her I also had diaries where I wrote all sorts about disliking my parents and my brother when I was at her age because I thought they loved my brother more. I even thought she wasnt my mom because of the whole discipline thing which is quite true. Not untill I became matured that I saw that she actually loved me and her training has helped me troughout life even in tough situations till date...you cant spend an hour with me without liking me ....no, my mom tried

To cut the long story short, pls how do I manage this situation because I dont want this to cause a burden to my mom. My dad must not even hear. I just had to appease her that it is normal for teenagers to think that way and all and she shouldnt create a big deal over it. I advised that she should have a heart to heart talk with my sis. I will be going home this weekend, pls how do I get my sister to realise that we love her and we care about her alot, how do I explain to her that shes just been disciplined and nothing more... oro yi su mi..

pls your matured contributions goes along way...thank you sirs and mas

if u spank her .. shez just gonna gt bad nd deb
talk to her friends abt hw shz treated and trust mi
she will gt d wrong advice wch she must obey....
for mi sha i feel she needs a lik freedom.. if she
wanna play let her go .. but b4 u do tell her d
dengers she might face .. and trynna know her
friends ..... dont always act like u own her ..
growing children gets sick of dat .. i remba i hated
eribody in my family cos dey caged mi...tinking it
was d way to train a Godfearing child .. guess wat
wen i was in my 200 level i smoked nd had sex
cos i was free.. like na once i taste d igbo o...
LESSON IS
give her freedom.. nd she will act well
give her a open hand nd heart.. she will tell u
secrets
dont act as a lord over her/ being so authoritative
and u will be her best friend
JUST TRYNNA MAKE COMMON SENSE

I have a 17 yrs old younger sister and she's in ss3 preparing 4 her waec am 5 yrs older dan her, my mum base whr she works and comes once in a while to visit, and i hv older siblings who are working too bt because am seeking for admission in2 one of the tertiary institutions am always at home and spend more time wit her, i noticed sum months ago dat she was seeing a boy on the street and decided to have a heart to heart chat wit her which she admitted and promised to end the relationship, dat day she even asked to make food 4 me ;Dimagine dat!.

Bt i didn't stop der also went and had a heart to heart talk wit the boys mum to talk to her son to stay away frm her so dat she can focus and make her 5 credits in waec and it worked, now she's focus and reads.

Being at home made me realize dat girls needs der parents presence or atleast an older sibling they respect on ground to monitor their behaviours.

My advice is...if u don't want her to be wayward sum1 has to be on ground to see to her affairs because ur parents have aged and ur mum is busy bt one of u need to be there cos giving her money is nt enough.

And don't give her money all the time, she's too young to be getting exposed to money, food is enough!.

I'm not saying painting her nails is right at that age... But I don't think it's all that bad. Growing up, my mum had like 4 sisters (teens and twenties) that i used to spend a lo o time with. so I used to paint my nails from as early as age 8. Though my mun would clean it off as soon as we got back home, dad was indifferent. I knew I couldn't take it to school. She stopped freakin out about it when I turned 11, and I'm 24 now, the last time I did my nails was probably for a wedding 6 years ago. Like when I got to uni, and all my friends were crazy about painting nails an what not. I didn't see the big deal.

Op at this point what you should be concerned about is her boyfriend an not nail polish. Tell her why it's important to stay chaste. She's 14, it is not too late. Talk about sex with her, give her stories about your friends that had sex early an how the relationship wen sour because of that.(form it if you have to) Talk to her about your own escapades , before you know it she's telling you about her boyfriend and what they do together.

My sis had her first boyfriend d at 13, this was he method I used for her. I'd tell her about my boyfriend and She would tell my everything, and even show me his text . messages. She's almost 20 an still a virgin. Now I'm not worried about her, because she's a principled young woman.

Nlaand:


Thanks alot, I would try this as well...I really hope it works

I really hope so too.

She's 14. What she wrote in a diary does not mean shii.
BTW who rebels because they were not allowed to go for Deeper Life camp? Somewhere even some youths in the church have to be pestered to go.

Just keep on encouraging her as much as you can but i see her turning out just fine. Others up there have said a lot of good stuff anyways, no need wasting any more bandwidth.

Praizekeyz:
Gbam! Future olosho!

Wereh re o!