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Toks2008:
I will be as blunt as i can in addressing these ignorant notions some Nigerian ladies have towards marriage.

1.Being too careful about her choice of man:

OK I understand you are the type that is so scared of venturing into marriage so you want to be very careful in choosing that man you will likely spend your life with..but I'm sorry to be the carrier of BAD NEWS..."No matter how careful you may be,every marriage is filled with uncertainties...even if you marry an angel,he could turn to a demon so just take the risk and be ready to confront any uncertainty you find else you may remain scared and single for a very long time.
Infact the more careful you are the greater the possibility of making a mistake.

2.I want a man who will love me for real:

I'm very vast in English language but when it comes to this sentence,the more I try to understand the more confused I get..."love you for real" like seriously!

You better get this fact now,if loving you for real means loving you with your imperfections then i might agree to an extent else...NO MAN CAN LOVE YOU FOR REAL except that real is substituted for many things like love you for your curves,intelligence,manners.....so stop using this ackward sentence and try to develop something a man can desire you for...no man wants a woman for nothing.

3.Wanting a made guy or financially OK guy:

I honestly have nothing against this except the fact that being financially OK is relative and we don't ever get to know the definition of "being financially ok"

But then I kinda wonder why ladies fail to understand that most guys in their late 20s and early 30s are still trying to find their feet which means a lady who wants a made guy is inadventedly saying she wants a married man or sugar daddy because most made men in Nigeria are in their mid or late 30s and in their 40s and would have been married.

However,the few younger ones who are made can not have more than one wife.

Ladies should try to be financially independent so that they can be disciplined enough to start a life with a guy rather than struggling with several ladies to be with a "made" guy or ending up as a side chic of a made guy.

4.I can not suffer with a man because he could dump me latter:

This is one of the dumbest notion many Naija ladies have and anytime I hear a lady says this I just give her that stupid look of a looser.

Are you doing any guy a favor by dating him when he is broke? For Petes sake you have every right to walk away from any affair if you dim fit and staying with a struggling guy is your choice and not a favor. ..if he latter becomes rich and he dumps you,just walk away rather than use those words to blackmail him.

5.My wedding will be the talk of the town:

I totally agree that a grand wedding is the dream of most ladies and I also share in this dream but the question is this; "Is it a do or die to have a grand wedding"?
What is wrong in having an intro and registry wedding and latter plan for the grand one when the funds are there?

Don't be deceived. ..8 out of 10 grand weddings in Nigeria are sponsored.

I think this is one area many ladies are destroying their lives because a guy will do you like a wife and enjoy all the wify benefit while telling you he is not ready for a grand wedding and you will continue to foolishly play along until he dumps your overused ass for a younger lady when he is finally ready...biko receive sense.

6.GOD has not confirmed him or my Pastor said he is not the one:

Like seriously! OK get this straight. ..it is good to listen to the word of GOD or to follow your pastor's advice but hello! when it comes to choosing a spouse GOD has clearly made it our duty to look for a spouse and he will gladly give us his favor ...Proverbs 18:22:
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD".

The best you can do is to pray to God that a good guy finds you and when next a prophet or pastor tells you a certain guy is not for you...simply ask him with humility to tell you who your man is..his name,house address,complexion....

7.I can't marry a man I have no feelings for:

Your feeling is very important when choosing a man but pray he also has feelings for you else you will end up in tears no matter how deep your feelings for him is.

This is a hard nut for many ladies but the sincere fact is that your feelings is not as important as the guy's feeling towards you.

Getting married to a man may be hinged on your feelings but staying married to him is primarily dependent on how he feels towards you.


8.Marriage is a beautiful and wonderful institution:

I'm so sorry to tell you another bad news...."marriage is very turbulent and you will feel like running out"

At the intial stage it will seem like its so beautiful and made in heaven but that is the initial gragra stage. But when the reality stage sets in you will come to know the true picture of marriage but the good news is that you can make yours always beautiful if you can learn to tolerate, forgive,forgive and forgive because only two forgivers can make a beautiful marriage.

9.If my husband truly loves me,he will never cheat on me:

I know this issue is over-flogged and many ladies will never agree to this fact..."YOUR HUSBAND CAN HAVE EYES FOR ONLY YOU AND IN FACT COMMIT SUICIDE IF YOU LEAVE HIM YET CAN STILL CHEAT ON YOU"...sounds stupid I guess but that is just the truth..

Just warn your husband that if he must do let him go far far away from you and must use protection...I always say...only a foolish lady will hinge her marital happiness on her husband's sexual faithfulness to her.

I'm not supporting philandering but this is just how the cookie crumbles.

10.I want a tall cute rich romantic sexy....

Habba sister just negodu there...only you one...please there is a difference between real life and Telemundo. .you can not have all you want in one man and if you think you have then kudos to you. Many ladies cheat on their hubbies or fiance because they can't help comparing...

Tade is good in bed but not rich enough...Richard spoils me with money but very boring in bed and Seun is so caring but.... so you run to Richard to get money,you remember Tade when you feel like having a good time and Seun comes to mind if you want to feel loved..YOU ARE A SORRY CASE.

Just go for a man that has the average qualities and settle down...no man has it all.

As long as a lady is ready to face these facts then she will definitely have no problem in her marriage but if you find yourself totally uncomfortable with one or more of the points listed above, i will advice you remain single until you are mature enough to accept them.

My humble opinion

@op I agree with your opinion on 1,2,6,9 and 10 but for the remaining let me state my own opinion:
For 3: yes being financially OK is relative but some guys will tell you they want to hammer before they get married even if the lady is ready to marry them with their financial status,are poor people not getting married?
For 4: Guys convince girls not to look at their current status that if they suffer now they'll enjoy later,only to be dumped later for another woman,so its better not to suffer at all.
For 5: Yes your wedding must not be the talk of the town but at least memorable, personally I think intro and registry its too small for a wedding,You can have very few people for your wedding and still do traditional and white.I know someone who did this and it was low budget.
For 7: Biko how can you say sustainability of marriage is when a man loves you,I tot its a woman that makes a home, besides love should be from both sides no man should marry a woman he doesn't love and no woman should marry a man she doesn't love cos as far as concerned sustainability of marriage is the love,understanding and commitment both partners have for each other.
For 8: Marriage Should be a beautiful and Wonderful Institution,its not a wrong notion but if things dont work out the way you expect you try to work things out,not say its turbulent then comeback and say only forgiveness is the key for a good marriage.
All in all everybody with their own,what works for A might not work for B try to figure out what for you and apply it,scum girls and scum guys are still getting married every Saturday

Marriage is about love,understanding and commitment,my fear is marrying someone thinking we have this only to find out we don't.

From most of the comments am reading here guys are saying you are playing hard to get, while ladies are saying be patient he will come,but these things are easier said than done, truth is you cant date who you don't like (except with conditions), and patience is really hard when everyone around you is constantly telling you 'go and get married you are getting old oh'.
I am of the same age with the op and i understand to an extent, what she is going through cos am going through the same thing. i am not even picky my sis even tells me my standards are too low yet its hard to connect with guys that like me and hard for guys i like to connect with me.

The way i see it there are several ways to things in life,there is just no one way to anything,everyone has their own story what worked for you might not work for someone else, so to each person their own destiny.l pray and hope that i meet the one am destined for.

op i sent you a message,kindly reply will like to be chatmates

In Lagos and will be available

dademonie: I just scaled through the second stage. I thank God o

pls share more info with us on how you scaled through.am yet to do the first yet am so scared about the comments going around.thanks

[quote author=gbaky_floor]I don't know about the interview format but Banana Island that I know of is at Ikoyi.

From Obalende you will get a bus/taxi/keke going to banana Island.[/quote][quote author=gbaky_floor]I don't know about the interview format but Banana Island that I know of is at Ikoyi.

From Obalende you will get a bus/taxi/keke going to banana Island.[/quote][quote author=gbaky_floor]I don't know about the interview format but Banana Island that I know of is at Ikoyi.

From Obalende you will get a bus/taxi/keke going to banana Island.[/quote]thanks i got to d place and i ave done d interview d questions were mostly on d job applied for and they attended to me well,am just keeping my fingers crossed.

Good day house i have an interview with etisalat at banana island,on wednesday for credit analyst anyone with useful tips on how to get there and form of interview should please reply

please send to funkyaishat@gmail.com. thanks

This is not a new vacancy i applied in october,and got invited for an aptitude test by dragnet but i havent heard anything since,maybe they havent found what they are lookn for, or this is just a mis-post,anyhow lets keep our fingers crossed.