A friend of mine (pregnant) and her husband got into a heated argument. In the course of the argument, Man brushes her aside (granted,not smoothly). He apologises to her, and goes to take a bath to cool off. As he leaves the bathroom, His wife tears his boxers of his waist! iin front of the househelp and kids. He is terribly embarrased, and he picks up a towel and she snatches the towel off him and leaves him standing naked! He tries to run into the room but she blocks him and pushes him roughly. of course the husband (who is normaly really hot tempered) proceeds to beat her!

Now, I'm a gal, I wont stand for any man, (born by beast, man, or both) to lay a finger on me in this life, or the next even!especially when i'm pregnant.

However, I dont think I will tear my husbands clothes and leave him in all his glory infront of my kids and the househelp! My friend is normally even headed, and so is her husband even with his temper. I have no idea how they came to this. But I honestly feel that she was wrong in doing that to him. I think its only grace that can stop a man (or even a woman) from attacking anyone who does this.

Granted,no man should beat his wife, but should a wife also provoke her husband? He's only human and there's so much he can endure!

See, another case of provoking a man. I don't get why women always want to do that. Especially when you know that he's a violent or say hot headed man. That right there really burns me. She should even know better as she's pregnant. You cant push a dog up against the wall and expect them not to react. Its only nature when someone or something feels threatened. We are all human with emotions and feelings, its like i always said to my little cousin as she was growing up. If you cant take it, don't dish it out! I don't know why women do that.
On the flip side. I am not condoning his behavior. He should have simply walked away from the scene. Got his clothes and left the house until he cooled down. His wife is very vulnerable and pregnant. You should never beat a pregnant woman. You shouldn't beat women pregnant or not. He could have handled that differently. In fact they both could. Its called maturity.

Oh and by the way, answer to your question. They were both wrong. Neither one of them were right! you got kids involved looking at their parents acting a damn fool. I cannot stand when adults have disputes in front of children.

Well, most couples dont 'PLAN' to have quarrels in front of their children. somehow,i feel its easier said than done. dunno. . . sha. and as for simply walking away, he tried to do that but she wouldnt let him.
I just feel bad cos when she was giving me the gist, I couldnt entirely support her. cos i felt what she did was wrong. but some people feel that no matter what a woman does, a man should not lay a finger on his wife. I used to be of this opinion until I saw this case. I pray that I never push my husband (when ever he materialises) into doing this. I think i've changed my views to no man should beat his wife unless inhumanely provoked. not when she doesnt cook the 'eba' well, or she's always singing or some other silly excuse.if u want to rack ur wife,let it be for something u would have racked even mike tyson for!

chaircover:

There is absolutely no excuse for a husband to beat his wife.
Lets turn this around; If you beat someone up in public you will get arrested and charged with assault; how much more beating up your wife.

you are absolutely right about the above statement but you forgot a tiny important point:
1) there is absolutely no excuse for a woman to lay her hand on her husband
2) if you tear someone's clothes in public till the point that they are naked, you will be arrested and probably go to jail too

@poster
the husband should have known that pregnant women experience mood and anxiety problems due to their "hormone overdrive" which can affect their day to day sanity. the husband should have understood that and play it down accordingly.

MRbrownJAY:


@poster
the husband should have known that pregnant women experience mood and anxiety problems due to their "hormone overdrive" which can affect their day to day sanity. the husband should have understood that and play it down accordingly.

We all know the rules! but that's why I say it takes super human strength to 'walk away' or 'turn the other cheek' when somone leaves ur crown jewels bare! not only infront of children who'll prob forget,but infront of house girl who'll NEVER forget what Oga's 'ding-dong' looks like!

another part of me argues that for her to have done that,the wife too must have been pushed to the wall. but well,in the end, 2 of dem don chop shame na. . . I feel bad.makes me worry about marriage and what turns sensible people into betta morons!

enmwata:

We all know the rules! but that's why I say it takes super human strength to 'walk away' or 'turn the other cheek' when somone leaves ur crown jewels bare! not only infront of children who'll prob forget,but infront of house girl who'll NEVER forget what Oga's 'ding-dong' looks like!

another part of me argues that for her to have done that,the wife too must have been pushed to the wall. but well,in the end, 2 of dem don chop shame na. . . I feel bad.makes me worry about marriage and what turns sensible people into betta morons!

that was one of these moment where "super human strength to walk away" was needed.
the mere fact that she was pregnant should have been enough to make the husband steer clear of laying his hands on her (write it on a board and when she give birth, you can give her the beating accordingly if that was such a big deal) but he could have hurt the unborn child, she could have lost the baby let alone her life.
this was very irresponsible of the husband.
i dont buy the excuse that he was so upset thats why he did it. lets reverse it and say that it was his mother who did that to him (for whatever reason) do you think he would have beaten his mother too?!

Like everyone has said. None of them were right, just complete asinine behavior.

They are both wrong.
The man could have paid attention to her and all these could have been prevented.
The woman however has no right at all to have tore his clothes, the wife has no right to have made the man stood naked infront of anyone, talkless of the househelp.
I think that marriage is doomed, cos nothing the woman or the man say that can bring happiness back into such marriage.
The man shd't have beaten the woman at all afterwards.
He shd have walked into the room, dress up and leave.

Akinagirl:

Like everyone has said. None of them were right, just complete asinine behavior.

spot on. All fingers are soiled.


I guess the OP would have felt better if the wife were a foreign woman throwing dishes at his head?

They are both wrong and should find a better way of handling conflict next time.

chaircover:

I find it odd that after at least 2 children (The poster used the word kids so I am assuming that they have a minimum of 2 kids)  and with another on the way the couple haven't found an amicable & peaceful way of dealing with conflict.

As Femi said the marriage is in trouble if this is still happening.

Anyone who tells you that they don't have arguments or misunderstandings in their marriage will be telling a big fat lie but the most important thing is how you come together as a couple and resolve it with love and respect for one another.

I have seen some couples live together like cat and dog; what however amazes me is how these couples manage to come together and make love after they have thrown the TV out of the window, shredded their clothes with scissors, broken the car windsceen, put a plaster on their burst lip, bruised head and black eyes.

@ bolded

amazing isnt it.

Some couples do claim they've never quarrelled in their entire lives so maybe it can happen, though I dont see how. If one of them is spaced out all the time maybe.

The man pummelling his wife in this circumstance was in perfect order.I detest all these hypocritical talk abt 'a man shld not beat his wife under any circumstance',rubbish.Read thru the original post & tell me why a woman wld subject her other half to that type of shame.She'd be lucky if she remains in my house going forward.

cold:

The man pummelling his wife in this circumstance was in perfect order.I detest all these hypocritical talk abt 'a man shld not beat his wife under any circumstance',rubbish.Read thru the original post & tell me why a woman wld subject her other half to that type of shame.She'd be lucky if she remains in my house going forward.

we know.

thank God u re in UK 

cold:

The man pummelling his wife in this circumstance was in perfect order.I detest all these hypocritical talk abt 'a man shld not beat his wife under any circumstance',rubbish.Read thru the original post & tell me why a woman wld subject her other half to that type of shame.She'd be lucky if she remains in my house going forward.

Both are wrong. None is right. Even as a female, saying that no man should raise his hands on a woman, women most times provoke such reaction. Women are sometimes the cause of a man hitting them as that is the only way he can react, but even at that, it should not be supported and this case, both are wrong.

*Hauwa*:

thank God u re in UK 

Thanx for reminding me

Diva1:

  Both are wrong. None is right. Even as a female, saying that no man should raise his hands on a woman, women most times provoke such reaction. Women are sometimes the cause of a man hitting them as that is the only way he can react, but even at that, it should not be supported and this case, both are wrong.

Please stop making all these lame excuses.There's the height of good & the depth of evil in every man,it depends on which side you choose to scratch.The woman cld hav contd nagging,fine,destroy the 28 mega pixel screen,well,ok i'll let that slide,exposing the man in all his glory in front of the kids & house maid-now that is crossing the line.How can anybody justify this action for crying out loud,please let's be completely honest with ourselves.

cold:

Thanx for reminding mePlease stop making all these lame excuses.There's the height of good & the depth of evil in every man,it depends on which side you choose to scratch.The woman cld hav contd nagging,fine,destroy the 28 mega pixel screen,well,ok i'll let that slide,exposing the man in all his glory in front of the kids & house maid-now that is crossing the line.How can anybody justify this action for crying out loud,please let's be completely honest with ourselves.

What lame excuses am I making? The truth is Both of them are wrong. I never supported the woman here, maybe u should read what I had written and try to understand it. I said though it is good a man should not hit a woman but in most cases, it is the woman that provokes such action. Most times, women are the ones that cause it being hit and and the man has no choice than to hit. So what don't you understand in what I said or what did I say wrong?

She needed a single hot slap!
After ripping his pants off she should of stopped she went too far Im sorry.

Diva1:

What lame excuses am I making? The truth is Both of them are wrong. I never supported the woman here, maybe u should read what I had written and try to understand it. I said though it is good a man should not hit a woman but in most cases, it is the woman that provokes such action. Most times, women are the ones that cause it being hit and and the man has no choice than to hit. So what don't you understand in what I said or what did I say wrong?

Ok,probably using ur post for my comeback wasn't what i had in mind i was just making a general statement.No need to get hostile,u know how i feel abt u.

Naijas need to invest in punching bags. I'll be getting my own soon.






Punch the bag instead of a human being. And especially instead of a woman. Unless you're into consensual freaky masochism.

Ummmm . . . . the woman is at fault here. sorry
Agreed the man shudnt have pushed the woman but he apologized so the woman shudnt have ripped her husband's boxer off after he apologized. . . Mba.

[left]One basic and unique difference btw d sexes is dat men have "balls", while women do not. Balls has often been seen to mean that a man shod be domineering. Far from that, it stands for a man’s ability to be in control; first, of himself. Granted, this is not easy, but can be done. It shld be done.

There is absolutely no excuse for a husband to beat his wife.

There are very many ways of heady a difficult woman & beating is not one of them. A man loses his respect and dignity. Usually, no matter what ur wife has done to u, beating her only brings u to her level, and d blame will be put at the man’s table. A man shld start above board. Usually, over time women even appreciate a man who uses other controlled means to bring a wife to other. Living with a woman requires insight, discernment, and lots of love and appreciation. You'll be surprised that over time, she’ll turn to become an obedient and submissive pet, and will quickly apologies when she occasionally misses it.
A truly powerful man does not need to use bruth force. This is d “information” age, not dark ages or “industrial age”.
It’s simply a lie, when people say some women actually want and love being beaten - unless the woman has some psychological / mental problems, and possible has not know a better life.

The poster said that the man shoved her. I am sure it did not hurt physically but you do not put your hand on anyone. Shoving will become a slap tomorrow and a slap will be a punch the next. I say she went overboard with the stripping part but he put his hands on her first. I don't see how the behavior of either one can be justified but I definitely do not see from the story how the woman provoked it. The man actually did from this story.

@chaircover
would you have done what the woman did?

@outstrip
remember the poster said they got into a heated arguement. Women have a tendency to rant and say things they wont even remember when they're angry.

The man should have known that pregnant women have mood swings. They can get angry for no reason at all.
If she wasnt pregnant and pulled this kind of stunt, i'd say she deserves some serious punishment which can come in any form the husband desires, but in this case, she has her "hormones over drive" as an excuse. So sad.

There is absolutely no excuse for a husband to beat his wife.

Lets turn this around; If you beat someone up in public you will get arrested and charged with assault; how much more beating up your wife.

FYI by law, what she did constitutes assault, and if she did that in public, she would be under arrest too. They were both wrong, but in this case I am afraid the woman takes the bigger share of the blame. The man can argue self defense!

Of course,we can all stand on our moral high grounds and say no man should ever beat a woman. . . . but please, dnt now provoke him to the point where he does that. Although this gives excuse to those men who terrorise their wives for no reason. But please, a woman and a man have lived in the same house for up to 5 years, he has never touched her b4 now. so that means the woman should know which bottons to press and what not. Its almost as if she knew what she was looking for.
Maybe he had really been fustrating her sha. one can never tell. like u've all said, all marriages have thier own issues.
and as for Ffhemmy, if you think this marriage is doomed,maybe you dont know  lot about marriages! no be today yansh de for back. they're most likely going to reconcile and use this as a reference to their lowest point! (am i sounding too hopeful?)

I dont support the woman at all, i think a woman should give her husy some sort of respect.

Secondly the man apologized for what he did, she should ve just allowed put thing on hold,walk away and keep the discussion for later when the children re not present.

She really embarrased her husy and pushed him to the wall.Knowing her husy,she should ve known that she s pregnant and that what she did could result to getting anything in return from her husy since he's hot tempered.She called for it and got what she wanted.I dont support a woman daring her husy to know what he ll do especially when the man tries to avoid the trouble.she went too far abeg,

As for the man,i dont support him pushing his wife either cos shes pregnant,what if she slipped and fell, but he recognized he was wrong and apologized.she would ve let it go for Good or talk it over later .

They were both wrong but i think the husy tried to play mature but his wife pushed him to the wall!

Patience should be one of the virtues of a wife though its not easy anyway,

Both.