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Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home - Family - Nairaland

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Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by chocolateme(f): 1:55pm On Apr 14, 2016
She is my long time friend and has a very calm nature. She got married last two years, she lives at Owerri working while her husband stays in Lagos tho she will soon join him.
Now 2 of her husband's sisters are with him in Lagos, whenever she comes on visit, I will go meet her up but it amazes me to see how she behaves timidly towards them. She will be complaining heaven and earth to me and basically turn to house girl. In the morning, one will leave for work, the other will be on bed browsing and chatting. She will ask that one to help clean the house and she will ignore her. My friend will end up washing all the dishes, sweep, clean and put everything in order. ( meanwhile that house is so dirty and untidy. They don't even help their brother wash his clothes.
I asked her what her husband thinks about it, she said that his sisters are not in his house as house girls. So she decided to stay like that but she always cries and complain.
Imagine every time she comes, she will take days to wash and keep the house in order. Wash curtains, stove cookers, the back of her pots and everything. Then two weeks later, she will travel back to east and they will start their mess all over again nawa oo. What kind of nonsense is that?
Well I told her that as she makes her bed, so shall she lie on it. She has no boldness and courage and strong will, that's why she can't call them to order ( she is older than one and the other is 2 years older than her) so she has to manage until they get married and leave her house for her. Husband not even helping matters.
She has even started telling her parents that she will stay away from her marriage until those ladies leave her home. It's making me worried because this is my childhood friend.
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by itstpia8: 1:57pm On Apr 14, 2016
If they are living in different towns then whats the point of your story.

1 Like

Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by dubylhover(m): 1:57pm On Apr 14, 2016
op..its IN HER HOME not ON her home

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Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by psucc(m): 2:05pm On Apr 14, 2016
I hope you were not trying to make her your housemaid?

Understanding will save you the trouble. Why not focus on how to build your home rather than allow pettiness to ruin it for you.
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by taryour(f): 2:07pm On Apr 14, 2016
chocolateme:
She is my long time friend and has a very calm nature. She got married last two years, she lives at Owerri working while her husband stays in Lagos tho she will soon join him.
Now 2 of her husband's sisters are with him in Lagos, whenever she comes on visit, I will go meet her up but it amazes me to see how she behaves timidly towards them. She will be complaining heaven and earth to me and basically turn to house girl. In the morning, one will leave for work, the other will be on bed browsing and chatting. She will ask that one to help clean the house and she will ignore her. My friend will end up washing all the dishes, sweep, clean and put everything in order. ( meanwhile that house is so dirty and untidy. They don't even help their brother wash his clothes.
I asked her what her husband thinks about it, she said that his sisters are not in his house as house girls. So she decided to stay like that but she always cries and complain.
Imagine every time she comes, she will take days to wash and keep the house in order. Wash curtains, stove cookers, the back of her pots and everything. Then two weeks later, she will travel back to east and they will start their mess all over again nawa oo. What kind of nonsense is that?
Well I told her that as she makes her bed, so shall she lie on it. She has no boldness and courage and strong will, that's why she can't call them to order ( she is older than one and the other is 2 years older than her) so she has to manage until they get married and leave her house for her. Husband not even helping matters.


this shouldn't be a big deal at all na. since the ladies enjoy living in such filth then knave them to have a fill of it. When they begin to fall sick their brains will reset.
whenever she is home with her hubby they should eat out, she should wash only her hubby clothe and leave the rest. leave the kitchen as she meet it. If she does that for them twice or 4 times her husband will know she means real business and correct his sisters.

There is no point telling the sisters what to do anymore hence they label her rude and ordering her sister in law about. neglect them like they don't exist, leave the house in a filth as you meet it, you are married to their brother and not to become their maid.

its difficult but you have to endure till you see changes. If you can't stand the mess, while your hubby is away at work, stay out all day till, he returns from work. and please make It clear to your hubby that when you moving finally to Lagos, it's you and your husband alone a beg. no point having a relative leaving with you if they can't help with house chores and run little errands.

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Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by PresVA: 2:13pm On Apr 14, 2016
Her husband didn't bring his sisters as housemaids but married her as a housemaid embarassed lipsrsealed

Coming from the east to clear their mess? She dey try. ..

Her husband should speak to his sisters; cleanliness is crucial. .. has nothing to do with being a maid or not. ..

For now, whenever she goes to meet her husband, she should do her thing like the ladies ain't in the house... she should be herself and do the ones she can!

Concerning husband's clothes, it's your husband's to do his laundry or you do it.......

Ps: If only you and your husband had same rhythm, all these wouldn't happen. ... You and your husband need to be in unison and handle your home together!

1 Like

Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by Greatzeus(m): 3:15pm On Apr 14, 2016
Maybe her husband's sister needs a clean slap to reset her brain.I said clean,not dirty slap ohh,there is a difference lol

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Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by Beremx(f): 3:34pm On Apr 14, 2016
When she eventually gets married to the man, his sisters will leave. She should just endure. na wetin we dey see for in-laws hand.
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by austine4real(m): 3:47pm On Apr 14, 2016
Wetin u wan make we do?

1 Like

Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by pickabeau1: 4:16pm On Apr 14, 2016
Beremx:
When she eventually gets married to the man, his sisters will leave. She should just endure. na wetin we dey see for in-laws hand.

What about if they don't leave?

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Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by itstpia8: 4:18pm On Apr 14, 2016
wife is in Owerri, husband is in Lagos.

This matter is difficult to interfere with nah?

The sisters should move out and a housemaid move in pending the wife's relocation?

if the wife doesnt want to do housework during her visits then she shouldnt.
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by Nobody: 4:48pm On Apr 14, 2016
itstpia8:
wife is in Owerri, husband is in Lagos.

This matter is difficult to interfere with nah?

The sisters should move out and a housemaid move in pending the wife's relocation?

if the wife doesnt want to do housework during her visits then she shouldnt.
Haba, auntYyy!
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by lilmax(m): 5:13pm On Apr 14, 2016
not your buisness

1 Like

Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by Beremx(f): 5:46pm On Apr 14, 2016
pickabeau1:

What about if they don't leave?
they will leave that's certain.
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by dominique(f): 6:34pm On Apr 14, 2016
So her husband cannot see his sisters as houshelps but sees someone else's daughter who happens to be his wife as one. Next time she comes to Lagos and sees the house in a mess, she should just ingore it for the entire length of her stay there. If her hysband asks her why is she not cleaning the house, she should put her foot down and tell him that unless the sisters assist with the chores, the house will remain filthy. I doubt if they well heed tho, seems her SILs are very comfortable living in a messy environment,

2 Likes

Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by itstpia8: 7:29pm On Apr 14, 2016
Kachisbarbie:

Haba, my auntYyy!


I dont know who that is.

Dont know who you are either.
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by itstpia8: 7:29pm On Apr 14, 2016
austine4real:
Wetin u wan make we do?

good question.

gossip I guess.

1 Like

Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by austine4real(m): 8:49pm On Apr 14, 2016
itstpia8:

good question.
gossip I guess.
abi na
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by eyinjuege: 11:09pm On Apr 14, 2016
She really cannot force grown ups who want to be dirty to be clean.
The only person that can solve the issue is her husband.
She should always complain to him anytime she comes over and ask him why he's so comfortable living in dirt!
If he can't ask his sisters to clean the house, he could at least try cleaning it himself na.

To be honest, the man is also dirty, since it seems OK for him to live in filth despite having 2 other grown up ladies living with him

4 Likes

Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by taryour(f): 12:33am On Apr 15, 2016
eyinjuege:
She really cannot force grown ups who want to be dirty to be clean.
The only person that can solve the issue is her husband.
She should always complain to him anytime she comes over and ask him why he's so comfortable living in dirt!
If he can't ask his sisters to clean the house, he could at least try cleaning it himself na.

To be honest, the man is also dirty, since it seems OK for him to live in filth despite having 2 other grown up ladies living with him


hmmm your last paragraph is so true. like brother like sister.

1 Like

Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by diportivo: 2:18am On Apr 15, 2016
If she lives and works in owerri,does that mean she comes to lagos only on weekends?...or when she is on leave?

It is impossible for this to av started yesterday,or lastweek..the signs must av been there b4 she married him.they didn't thrash it out then,now she is expecting things to change miraculously

Her primary concern shld be her husband...take care of him,and let his sisters take care of themselves

This wont stop till they leave the house...or she gets a maid

Finally,u dont really need to cajole ladies to be neat...they will soon get married....na dat time eye go clear
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by diva90: 2:37am On Apr 15, 2016
Why can't she get a small maid to help her with chores? If she's so uncomfortable with her Inlaws staying in her husband's house, then she should speak to her husband about her concerns and ask him to subtly ask them to vacate/find somewhere else. Seeing that the husband is on the same side with his sisters, he most likely will refuse. If I were her I would insist that they leave (he should choose between his wife or his sisters). They can go stay with their parents if they live in the same town or he can rent them a small cheap apartment. Their marriage is too young to have all these people sharing the same space with them, na so so trouble dey start

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Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by pickabeau1: 8:47am On Apr 15, 2016
Beremx:
they will leave that's certain.

Well... you never know
The man seems to be laid back
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by Nobody: 9:07am On Apr 15, 2016
Some women can create problems where there's none.
Tell her to continue to keep the house clean and ignore those lazy lots. There is a reason why they are yet to get married. Everybody get their own bad luck wey tander dey wait. Hian!

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Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by MissIndependent(f): 10:22am On Apr 15, 2016
Some inlaws no get shame at all especially female in-Laws... embarassed

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Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by ronald4lif(m): 3:47pm On Apr 15, 2016
He doesn't want his sisters become maids but have no expostulation having the wife take up the role of a maid? Issorite.

How about him assigning his sisters laundry to his wife as well? He shouldn't allow them wash their own clothes to avoid being seen as maid. Or she should voluntarily take up their laundry chores so she can be seen as 'respectful' and 'submissive' to her hubby and in-laws. That's what 'good' wives does.

And why can't the hubby perform his house chores himself? Should the cleaning of the house be the duty of the wife even if she doesn't reside there?

The part where you said she's persevering the sisters until they get married and leave her house got me laughing really good. Marriage is their sole purpose in life and until it happens they'd live in their brother's place? What a joke!
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by Kimoni: 4:19pm On Apr 15, 2016
What exactly is the problem here biko?

The husband lives in the house and is not complaining
The sisters live with him and they are not complaining
She doesn't live in the house yet she is the one complaining undecided
How can the guest be crying more than the bereaved?

When she relocates finally, no one will teach her to set timidity aside and face her problems but for now,
she should behave like a guest that she is.

2 Likes

Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by darlenese(f): 4:38pm On Apr 15, 2016
She should try and ignore the dirty dishes and curtains , if the husband feels comfortable living in a dirty and house then she should try and live comfortable in it too.

Life is too short to bother your head over unnecessary issues.

Live dirty and be happy grin
Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by Nobody: 6:41pm On Apr 15, 2016
They keep the house untidy because they know that their house help is coming in 2 weeks time
Your friend is the cause
If she cant jump over the dirty clothes, then that's her problem
Thank God for take away on every street corner . . shebi she is only around for a few days
I wont even bother cooking in such an environment
If the sisters and husband have no shame with their dirty curtains and filthy stove, then that's their cup of tea. Let them live in their filth.

Tell your friend that if she continues to do eye service, this is how it will be till kingdom come
She is trying to be in her sister inlaws good books, meanwhile she is dying inside and complaining to you but doing nothing about it.

2 Likes

Re: Her Husband's Sisters Disrespect Her In her Own Home by Princematarazzi(m): 2:57pm On Apr 17, 2016
seconded
taryour:



this shouldn't be a big deal at all na. since the ladies enjoy living in such filth then knave them to have a fill of it. When they begin to fall sick their brains will reset.
whenever she is home with her hubby they should eat out, she should wash only her hubby clothe and leave the rest. leave the kitchen as she meet it. If she does that for them twice or 4 times her husband will know she means real business and correct his sisters.

There is no point telling the sisters what to do anymore hence they label her rude and ordering her sister in law about. neglect them like they don't exist, leave the house in a filth as you meet it, you are married to their brother and not to become their maid.

its difficult but you have to endure till you see changes. If you can't stand the mess, while your hubby is away at work, stay out all day till, he returns from work. and please make It clear to your hubby that when you moving finally to Lagos, it's you and your husband alone a beg. no point having a relative leaving with you if they can't help with house chores and run little errands.

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