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@captainphilip, I must commend your stand and the effort you have really put in to make sure your marriage work. You are indeed a good man.

There is something about living in a negative environment/atmosphere, it tend to change who we really are. Believe it or not, this toxic marriage of yours has succeeded in bringing out a part of you that you are not really happy with.

Imagine what is already going on in your daughters head.it's really pathetic

Look deep down your heart, is this the kind of loud life you planned living? I will advice you start making plans so you are taken by surprise. This new trend (repentance) might be for real, might be a hoax. Which ever way guard your heart.

I pray that God continue to strengthen you.

P.s: that boy is not demonic. He was led on by your wife.

Oga, pls e don do. U have tried. Pls let go before she kills you. May the good Lord give you the strength to break loose. Let go plsssssss!

What if one of her serial lovers ra.pes your daughter? God forbid. Take your daughter and leave before you poison each other.

You have to leave this marriage. God gave you many reasons and instances to leave, but you blinded yourself to them. Now you are being charged for assault. If you go to jail because of this, the daughter you are trying to protect won't see you either. Is it worth it in the end? Is this worth your sanity, your morals, your standards? You obviously love her more than you love yourself.

sandiyke:


There is something about living in a negative environment/atmosphere, it tend to change who we really are. Believe it or not, this toxic marriage of yours has succeeded in bringing out a part of you that you are not really happy with.

Absolutely. People take this for granted. People are not aware this causes psychological damage. You are more likely to develop symptoms of depression and anxiety. You need to take care of yourself first before thinking about what the pastor or society says about divorce.

Bros, e be like say dem dan knack you correct juju.

As I read this your story you make me feel like slapping you hard on your face. You had many clue to know that your wife was an error and you went ahead to married and even in the marriage your capacity to manage a woman is so poor. Mr man it is not long or thick dick or money that makes one qualify to husband a woman, it is having capacity.

My dear, please change the title. You should be afraid of your wife and not some. Reasons be, all you said is peculiar to your wife which is an individual and not all.
Two, she showed you who she was but you went ahead and married her. You ignored all the signs she was displaying.

As it is now, prayerfully weight options. There is nothing beyond God.

But please don't be afraid of woman. There are so many Diamond out there. This one is just different.

Its really heartbreaking to find oneself in this state. I pray God see you tro. I'm curious tho', did ur pastor play any role in encouraging the relationship b4 u consummated it?

Did this nigga say what that woman is doing is not normal? What is abnormal in being a selfish woman who sleeps around?

OP you mumu gan.

Why are you afraid of women? You did yourself in, there were so many red flags yet you kept going back like an hypnotized man. Please don't bring all women into this o, you made a terrible choice and it's no one's fault.

Op, i read your story and i might be wrong but i think i have heard the other side of your story which you have refused to share on NL for a balanced view.

You met your now wife, you got her knocked up (forget the whole churchy thingy cos you were both gbenshing steady) so nobody can claim holy pass.

You stuck with her cos she had red kpali, and THATS the same reason you are still there.

She is far from perfect but neither are You. You almost always bailed on her with your constant disappearing acts.....even after she had a baby, you disappeared, didnt break up, no contact till years after. You only married her when your visa was repeatedly bounced and then you remembered babymama got red papers.

She on the other hand, is just as street smart as you are. Whether she had genuine feelings for you initially i do not know, however with your constant disappearing acts, its difficult for someone to consider you a serious life partner.

You both used each other for gains....she needed a child as she was getting older, you wanted a way to regularise your stay.

I am sorry to read about your emotional tumoil, but it appears your wifey already went through this phase, albeit silently when you abandoned her for years with no contact, support etc despite evidence of your steady cheating........the only person suffering in all these is your daughter and thats whom my heart goes out to

Allen,
I rarely give advise on marital issues. But I was moved by your story to the extent I think I must let you know a few things. You may wish to check the quality of my replies on NL.
First, I hope you have given true account of the situation, nevertheless, I'd assume so.
To start with, I almost stopped reading when I came across several " I let it go". If you want to stay in your marriage - a decision that will be entirely yours regardless of what anyone says here, you must be willing to keep letting things go for the same reasons why you did in the first place. There is no way you can change a woman, I'm sorry to say. Historically, women will always test their men to see how much they can get away with. It is called "negotiation", and believe me, there is nothing wrong with this. Your duty as a man is to calibrate the excesses of your woman. You have allowed her to get away with too much.
It is impossible to recalibrate your wife. Why am I saying all these- to prepare you for the logically horrendous life that may lie ahead of you if you eventually decide to go ahead in this marriage. I'm a Christian and believe God can do all things, but God is a realist. Is 1:18.
As for your daughter, you don't own her, God placed that wonderful girl in the custody of both of you, and someone (or both of you) is messing up. Children are meant to be raised in homes, not broken or messed up homes. So you don't have a home my friend ( with all due respect ), you have a house that I liken to a nuclear reactor, preparing an atomic bomb, waiting to explode. Very soon, the same daughter you love may start to copy her mother, and your worst fears may be realized. I will stop here, before I'm tempted to tell you what to do.
I take a minute to pray that God will give you wisdom. I will recommend you read the whole book of proverbs at least twice. I think you are lacking in that department a little. Best of luck.