.

vbiye:
Dear Nairalanders, I need advice, i have been dating this guy for a couple of months now, initially i really liked him but now that i have been spending time with him, his attitude puts me off. He is the kind of guy that believes a woman should take care of herself and all her needs, this is not really a problem for me because i work and earn a good salary, but i have come to notice that he is always complaining of being broke, it's annoying because i know he works with a good oil company, he complains endlessly when his Siblings ask him for money, if i tell him its normal that i used to ask my elders ones for money when i was in school he gets angry and says i never take sides with him on any issue, whenever we are together he is either complaining of being broke, or being angry because his colleagues provoked him at work or he is hassling me for sex and he never takes no for an answer. The only time i asked him for money to make my hair he told me other women carry one hairstyle for 3 months that i should start carrying my own like that too and he didn't give me anything. on my last birthday he said the country's economy is so bad and so he could not afford a birthday gift for me. He always complains that i don't call him everyday but he has never recharged my phone,to make matters worse he is always asking me to borrow him money to fuel his car whereas he has never given me as much as 1k for tfare when i visit him. My question is this his attitude normal with guy's.

pls run for ur life. or u may live to regret it.

Don't Like Jumping Into Conclussions, But I Don't Think The Dude Is Nice. He Would Do Worse As A Husband. Is He Saving To Buy Heaven?

What r u still doing wit him if i may ask?

If ur still wit such a guy, then sorry to say, u don't know ur worth.

All these signs and OP is still asking if this is normal? Anyhow, I hear people say that women easily dump guys who treat them well and stick to the ones that treat them like trash. OP is proving it to be true

Buharism:
pls run for ur life. or u may live to regret it.

i am seriously considering breaking up with him.

delishpot:
All these signs and OP is still asking if this is normal? Anyhow, I hear people say that women easily dump guys who treat them well and stick to the ones that treat them like trash. OP is proving it to be true

No woman likes a man who treats her badly, that's why am worried.

vbiye:

i am seriously considering breaking up with him.

Are u waiting for Buhari to take action of ur behalf, the earlier the better.

vbiye:

No woman likes a man who treats her badly, that's why am worried.

Thats why you are worried? I was expecting you to say THATS WHY I DUMPED HIM!
Or are you thinking he is just testing you? Cos some boys do shii in the name of testing a girl sha. Anyway, test o, real o, that is no way for a man to act.

@OP, You have all the evidence to come to the right conclusion. Your mind has already told you the truth, but your need and want of him is trying to do the double with your emotions.

How else can a man display irresponsibility and self-centredness? How else can a man show he doesn't value you? What else do you need to know he's not commitment worthy? Or is he your last bus stop?

delishpot:



Thats why you are worried? I was expecting you to say THATS WHY I DUMPED HIM!
Or are you thinking he is just testing you? Cos some boys do shii in the name of testing a girl sha. Anyway, test o, real o, that is no way for a man to act.

i initially thought it was a test, but it has gone on for too long, am going to leave him before the end of this week.

Buharism:
Are u waiting for Buhari to take action of ur behalf, the earlier the better.

lol that's really funny.

delishpot:
All these signs and OP is still asking if this is normal? Anyhow, I hear people say that women easily dump guys who treat them well and stick to the ones that treat them like trash. OP is proving it to be true

@bold , That's what my people call "eran iya" (penchant for punishment).

As much as I clamour for Women's Financial independence like my life depend on it, I loathe self centred/greedy men like a plaque. May as well redefine his role before signing the dotted lines or keep it moving . Useless thing

postmann:
@OP, You have all the evidence to come to the right conclusion. Your mind has already told you the truth, but your need and want of him is trying to do the double with your emotions.

How else can a man display irresponsibility and self-centredness? How else can a man show he doesn't value you? What else do you need to know he's not commitment worthy? Or is he your last bus stop?

no he is not my last stop o, but my friends keep telling me to look past his faults and try to see his good side afterall no one is perfect.

vbiye:

i initially thought it was a test, but it has gone on for too long, am going to leave him before the end of this week.

Don't just dump him... Clearly state his shortcomings to his face. All of it.

vbiye:

no he is not my last stop o, but my friends keep telling me to look past his faults and try to see his good side afterall no one is perfect.

Indeed no one is perfect but I encourage people to pick imperfections they can accommodate over the ones they find repulsive. This one has gone beyond imperfection, this one is about to enter something else

vbiye:

no he is not my last stop o, but my friends keep telling me to look past his faults and try to see his good side afterall no one is perfect.

I understand no one is perfect but too often times, people use that phrase to get away with some vital, unacceptable short comings.

Look miss, we are talking about the absence of the cardinal male characteristics here; the willingness to be a provider, looking out for you and carrying your cares on his shoulders. Not trying to lean on your feminine shoulders. Your guess is as good as anyone's what kind of care as a father he would offer your children should you go ahead. You wanna overlook that, then don't complain later.

postmann:


I understand no one is perfect but too often times, people use that phrase to get away with some vital, unacceptable short comings.

Look miss, we are talking about the absence of the cardinal male characteristics here; the willingness to be a provider, looking out for you and caring your cares on his shoulders. Not trying to lean on your feminine
shoulders. Your guess is as good as anyone's what kind of a care as a father he would offer your children should you go ahead. You wanna overlook that, then done complain later.

i know i won't be able to continue dating him with the way he acts, i will just try to end it now, the earlier the better.

vbiye:
Dear Nairalanders, I need advice, i have been dating this guy for a couple of months now, initially i really liked him but now that i have been spending time with him, his attitude puts me off.

his attitude OR reluctance to bankroll your life?!

He is the kind of guy that believes a woman should take care of herself and all her needs, this is not really a problem for me because i work and earn a good salary,

if it REALLY wasnt a problem then why open a thread biatching about what he hasnt paid for you?! the issue IS the money that he aint willing to spend on you, YES!

but i have come to notice that he is always complaining of being broke, it's annoying because i know he works with a good oil company,

this above is the goldigging clueless mentality that believes that anyone who works in an oil company must be swimming in cash

he complains endlessly when his Siblings ask him for money, if i tell him its normal that i used to ask my elders ones for money when i was in school he gets angry and says i never take sides with him on any issue,

NEWSFLASH: just because you were begging your elders for cash, doesnt mean they werent "complaining endlessly", just like this man. typical of beggars to only see their side of the story and expect people to provide for their needs, at all costs

whenever we are together he is either complaining of being broke, or being angry because his colleagues provoked him at work

working in an oil company can be a stressful job

or he is hassling me for sex and he never takes no for an answer.

thats because he shouldnt even ask

The only time i asked him for money to make my hair he told me other women carry one hairstyle for 3 months that i should start carrying my own like that too and he didn't give me anything.

he was RIGHT, and he should also have asked you how you managed to do your hair before you met him.

on my last birthday he said the country's economy is so bad and so he could not afford a birthday gift for me.

as much as he is right about the economy, we can all confirm that you are focus on money, thus i doubt you would have accepted flowers (probably the reason he didnt waste his small change to buy any)

He always complains that i don't call him everyday but he has never recharged my phone,

so your man MUST recharge your phone before you can lift your fingers and call him?! BWAAAAAAH you are amazing! no wonder this guy guard his money against you like the CBN.

to make matters worse he is always asking me to borrow him money to fuel his car whereas he has never given me as much as 1k for tfare when i visit him. My question is this his attitude normal with guy's.

"borrowed" money to fuel the car will be reimbursed so no big deal, but its different than "giving" T-fare, which we know you have NO INTENTION of paying him back.

sadly, such attitude is needed with a certain type of women.... abeg, give me that guy's contact, i need to buy him a well deserved DRINK!

MRBrownJ:


his attitude OR reluctance to bankroll your life?!



if it REALLY wasnt a problem then why open a thread biatching about what he hasnt paid for you?! the issue IS the money that he aint willing to spend on you, YES!



this above is the goldigging clueless mentality that believes that anyone who works in an oil company must be swimming in cash



NEWSFLASH: just because you were begging your elders for cash, doesnt mean they werent "complaining endlessly", just like this man. typical of beggars to only see their side of the story and expect people to provide for their needs, at all costs



working in an oil company can be a stressful job



thats because he shouldnt even ask



he was RIGHT, and he should also have asked you how you managed to do your hair before you met him.



as much as he is right about the economy, we can all confirm that you are focus on money, thus i doubt you would have accepted flowers (probably the reason he didnt waste his small change to buy any)



so your man MUST recharge your phone before you can lift your fingers and call him?! BWAAAAAAH you are amazing! no wonder this guy guard his money against you like the CBN.



"borrowed" money to fuel the car will be reimbursed so no big deal, but its different than "giving" T-fare, which we know you have NO INTENTION of paying him back.

sadly, such attitude is needed with a certain type of women.... abeg, give me that guy's contact, i need to buy him a well deserved DRINK!

I really want to reply every point you think you have made here but on second thoughts i dont have to prove anything to you. I am just sorry for you that came from a family where giving your younger ones financial aid when they need it makes them beggars, glad to tell you am not from such and i have a younger one who can testify to that.

The major confusion of women......

Ewuro4:


@bold , That's what my people call "eran iya" (penchant for punishment).

As much as I clamour for Women's Financial independence like my life depend on it, I loathe self centred/greedy men like a plaque. May as well redefine his role before signing the dotted lines or keep it moving . Useless thing

See vexation

vbiye:

I really want to reply every point you think you have made here but on second thoughts i dont have to prove anything to you. I am just sorry for you that came from a family where giving your younger ones financial aid when they need it makes them beggars, glad to tell you am not from such and i have a younger one who can testify to that.

it is PARENTS responsibility to cater for their children's needs, and not "elder brothers". if an elder brother can help once in a while then fair enough, but if you expect him to settle you every months while he clearly says he AINT got the money, then yes thats begging, and he has the RIGHT to complain endlessly about it.... as if being elder means you CANT be broke?! NONSENSE

stop trying to shift the issue here, and you shouldnt even have opened this thread, since you make your own money... "supposedly".... as we can clearly see that spending on small things such as Tfare and recharge card is an issue for you.

If person like me kan see you for road now try to toast you, you go dey form.... now can you imagine the type of guy straffing you... Women sha..

Dyt:



See vexation

I dey vex gidi gan.

vbiye:
Dear Nairalanders, I need advice, i have been dating this guy for a couple of months now, initially i really liked him but now that i have been spending time with him, his attitude puts me off. He is the kind of guy that believes a woman should take care of herself and all her needs, this is not really a problem for me because i work and earn a good salary, but i have come to notice that he is always complaining of being broke, it's annoying because i know he works with a good oil company, he complains endlessly when his Siblings ask him for money, if i tell him its normal that i used to ask my elders ones for money when i was in school he gets angry and says i never take sides with him on any issue, whenever we are together he is either complaining of being broke, or being angry because his colleagues provoked him at work or he is hassling me for sex and he never takes no for an answer. The only time i asked him for money to make my hair he told me other women carry one hairstyle for 3 months that i should start carrying my own like that too and he didn't give me anything. on my last birthday he said the country's economy is so bad and so he could not afford a birthday gift for me. He always complains that i don't call him everyday but he has never recharged my phone,to make matters worse he is always asking me to borrow him money to fuel his car whereas he has never given me as much as 1k for tfare when i visit him. My question is this his attitude normal with guy's.

Jeezzzz! You have overtried. Unkindness turn me off. How do you let his kind touch you and u then go on to hold him at night! Ewwww

MRBrownJ:


it is PARENTS responsibility to cater for their children's needs, and not "elder brothers". if an elder brother can help once in a while then fair enough, but if you expect him to settle you every months while he clearly says he AINT got the money, then yes thats begging, and he has the RIGHT to complain endlessly about it.... as if being elder means you CANT be broke?! NONSENSE

stop trying to shift the issue here, and you shouldnt even have opened this thread, since you make your own money... "supposedly".... as we can clearly see that spending on small things such as Tfare and recharge card is an issue for you.

You are really bad to say this! You don't need to have to give. Giving is love. I can't live in the midst of giftlessness. I either give or receive. This woman only receive Dickson and you criticize her!

If you don't see a self and egoistic tendencies from the man as she as explained, clearly, you have an issues

vbiye:

I really want to reply every point you think you have made here but on second thoughts i dont have to prove anything to you. I am just sorry for you that came from a family where giving your younger ones financial aid when they need it makes them beggars, glad to tell you am not from such and i have a younger one who can testify to that.

Don't mind him. Please check all my Nairaland posts, I hv never cursed out a word to anyone here for more than 5 year here. Today I will break my clean slate.

I curse him with all my venom. May his mentality remain like this for life. He is not born, he was excreted! Now I have wore my think skin for his lashes. I don't care!

vbiye:
Dear Nairalanders, I need advice, i have been dating this guy for a couple of months now, initially i really liked him but now that i have been spending time with him, his attitude puts me off. He is the kind of guy that believes a woman should take care of herself and all her needs, this is not really a problem for me because i work and earn a good salary, but i have come to notice that he is always complaining of being broke, it's annoying because i know he works with a good oil company, he complains endlessly when his Siblings ask him for money, if i tell him its normal that i used to ask my elders ones for money when i was in school he gets angry and says i never take sides with him on any issue, whenever we are together he is either complaining of being broke, or being angry because his colleagues provoked him at work or he is hassling me for sex and he never takes no for an answer. The only time i asked him for money to make my hair he told me other women carry one hairstyle for 3 months that i should start carrying my own like that too and he didn't give me anything. on my last birthday he said the country's economy is so bad and so he could not afford a birthday gift for me. He always complains that i don't call him everyday but he has never recharged my phone,to make matters worse he is always asking me to borrow him money to fuel his car whereas he has never given me as much as 1k for tfare when i visit him. My question is this his attitude normal with guy's.

What do you think you should do? If a friend put this to you what would you tell that friend? I'd say never settle because you deserve better. It's not about the money but it is about compatibility. If you don't reason like him then you are not compatible.

This doesn't mean that he is wrong or right but it is a question of compatability. You don't agree on many things so are there any other qualities you like about him and if so do those qualities out weigh his negative qualities?

Sounds like you're not his ideal woman anyway so let him go so he can find her and you can find your ideal man. Simples

TheArchangel:
The major confusion of women......

Omg! You hit the nail on the head! I too have a broke stenchy niqqa who is the best in bed! Hence why i ask myself what am I doing with him!! If op says her man is broke and shi in bed then she cray cray


Op bedmatics is the deal breaker so tell us out of 10 what is his magic stroke number

My broke niqqa is an 11! So until i meet a 12 I'll do my hair and fill my belly with shrimp and spaghetti

vbiye:

I really want to reply every point you think you have made here but on second thoughts i dont have to prove anything to you. I am just sorry for you that came from a family where giving your younger ones financial aid when they need it makes them beggars, glad to tell you am not from such and i have a younger one who can testify to that.

Nne, don't listen to anyone that tells you his attitude is normal. . It's NOT normal. ..

No one is asking you to spend excessively on your woman; just hv a sense of responsibility. . That he shows it to his siblings too speaks deep...

You can tell him about his attitude, if he doesn't change, then you move...

Bro MBJ you missed out the bit where he seems to be always angry, hassles her for sex all the time and complains about almost anything

I cant stand negative dark whiny people around me as they can be very draining and that reason alone is enough for her to run

As regards the money, its not about the hair and transport fare, (she can afford that) its the thought behind it. someone who actually cares enough about your well being and someone ready to make you smile and so there is no way that money wont be involved even if only small amounts.

I dont expect a guy to pay school fees or buy phones and tablets but there is nothing wrong in a guy putting his hand in his pocket and paying the bike man direct when you come to visit.

If he cant buy a simple no frills cheap birthday present for his girlfriend on her birthday then really he is not ready to date.
Even secondary school kids manage to do something no matter how little for their loved ones on their birthdays.