Apart from that she has a store where only people like her visit, she is crazy and sincerely if it had not been two days ago when I urgently needed something I may have never crossed there.

Once upon a time in November I ordered a cheap tablet on the internet, from then till now it has taken its time to get rid of its original components from the front camera , to the screen and finally to its mouthpiece. I’ve also learnt to manage it, because hey android tablets don’t grow on trees. I found that I could rotate the back camera, and then take pictures from any angle, for the broken screen not every part of the touch pad had gone unresponsive, for the mouthpiece: Headsets could serve the same purposes; on days when frustration seeks to get the best of me, I remind myself that all this is ephemeral.

Headsets with working extensions for speech are difficult to find and even if you find them they end up being fake.

Two days ago after I saw a friend off, I crossed to a shop I noticed when I first passed. The only reason I crossed there was so I could replace my spoilt headphone. I left the shop with three things some money in my pocket, an earphone and safety after Sisi merciless display of madness.

Once I was at the shop I was greeted by the figure of a woman, who after years of not feeding properly, shred to the figure of a potato, she was hungry, taking all the pressure of hunger on the bubble gum under her teeth.

After I greeted and informed her of the reason I’d stumbled at her shop, she replied after a lasting and intimidating look at me. At this point I get the message, Sisi is not really morph sized. She has got a large mass of trouble hidden behind her. After in what seemed like an eternity, she lifted her invisible weight, she pointed to a bucket where she kept all the headphones, motioning also that I sit down. Already irritated I refused with a smile. It just didn’t feel right sitting where she’d sat before.

After I tried a few which weren’t working, I found one which fit perfectly, in the process of getting the earpiece out of its pack it got damaged, at first it was nothing serious on my path so I called her to see with a sinister smile and another Head to Toe look, she returned in a flash to the nails she tended. The nail polish and every other thing she put on her nails took away the girly effect, the whole thing was dirty and I could feel her store warp smaller as she busied her self, I just couldn’t take that a dirty woman in a dirty store would wear the same accessories I’d seen my sisters wear.

I could sense trouble, quickly I picked another and without testing it, offered to pay three hundred naira even though we had not bargained Sisi didn’t accept it, she grew wild slowly till she burst finally

Oga you spoil my market you no wan kum pay.

Sisi grabbed my shirt.

I tried calming her and when I asked what she wanted, she screamed pay for the two.

After a quick minute of thinking I did this.

I dropped 300 naira on a table, grabbed the new earphone and with a little strength I tried pushing her.

With arms akimbo and feet mounted firmly to the ground she stayed in the way

Meanwhile, all this was gaining attention from shops around and once a new person appeared at the scene to find Sisi squeezing form out of my shirt, they concluded she was at fault. I took the advantage to explain all the crazy things. Sisi had done, Luckily Sisi had a lot of enemies, capitalizing on this I grabbed the earpiece hit her hands off me, dashed out of the shop, she would have run after me but she was held by Mr. James a particular enemy who took the opportunity to correct Sisi’s ill attitude, he saved me but today he is in a hospital section for people bit with rabies infected dogs.

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