A surprisingly large number of people do not know how to take a compliment. There’s something in our mind-set that says we cannot possibly deserve positive feedback and therefore anyone who pays us a compliment must be either lying, misguided, or feeling sorry for us. This is that little extra-critical voice in our heads, externalized and projected onto others; as if it weren’t enough that we undermine ourselves, we force others to undermine us too.

Stop doing this:

Putting yourself down: One reaction to compliments is to say “I don’t deserve it” and list reasons why. Stop doing that.

Assuming the other person doesn’t really mean it:

You may be right, sometimes, but it doesn’t matter. Responding as if they did disarms whatever ulterior motive they might have. On the other hand, acting as if they didn’t mean it when they did is insulting and makes you come off as either a jerk or a basket case. Stop doing it.

Pointing out your weaknesses:

A compliment isn’t about your weaknesses, it’s about your strengths. There’s plenty of time to focus on improving faults later; for now, bask in the recognition of what doesn’t need fixing.

Deflecting compliments to others:

We often respond to the embarrassment of being singled out for praise by deflecting it to others. Others may be deserving, but so are you.

Claiming it was all “luck”:

Another way of deflecting embarrassing attention from yourself, with the added bonus of freeing you from responsibility for not only your successes but your failures.

Making them work for it:

Cut the long stream of “no, it was nothings” and “I just did what I had to do” and let people give you the compliment. Putting it off until they’ve given it three or four times, each time more insistently, is selfish.