bukatyne:


Why na?

Say sumtin

The gist frustrates me because no matter what I say, you will always hear " am staying for the kids". I totally agree with you, most times these women's decision have nothing to do with finance.

byvan03:




The gist frustrates me because no matter what I say, you will always hear " am staying for the kids". I totally agree with you, most times these women's decision have nothing to do with finance.

One lady once told me about her ex-husband whom she stayed with, on top of the heating. She had a job, contacts, no kids yet. She even fought her blood sister when that one came to defend her and fight her husband. When she started having kids, the beatings increased and she finally ran for her life. I still wonder why she stayed. Even in this Ronke Shonde's case, she had a job so she could have left. But take a look at the nice pictures the couple took together (I know happier couples who haven't done Photoshoots).

It's a psychological thing. They are genuinely afraid they cannot manage on their own and they be a internalised it. I remember when I was in a similar situation and I asked myself "what's wrong with me that this happened to me and not others? It must be my fault". It wasn't and that is why I tell people "Domestic Violence is about Control and not about Anger". There women in these marriages sometimes need pyschological help, emotional support and encouragement to leave, more than money. It isn't just to say "Leave" but to say "you are not the problem, your attacker is. This is not your fault".

When people are trying to help make a better world; trying to better the lot of humanity, some people are devoting their entire time and lives trying to find ways to promote divorce.
Gosh. Don't you selfish fuuckkkers think it will be best to just fight for the total abolishment of the Institution marriage. I mean that way we get to prevent innocent kids from having to go through the excruciating pain of growing in a broken home.
Selfish evil fucckkers

Onegai:


One lady once told me about her ex-husband whom she stayed with, on top of the heating. She had a job, contacts, no kids yet. She even fought her blood sister when that one came to defend her and fight her husband. When she started having kids, the beatings increased and she finally ran for her life. I still wonder why she stayed. Even in this Ronke Shonde's case, she had a job so she could have left. But take a look at the nice pictures the couple took together (I know happier couples who haven't done Photoshoots).

It's a psychological thing. They are genuinely afraid they cannot manage on their own and they be a internalised it. I remember when I was in a similar situation and I asked myself "what's wrong with me that this happened to me and not others? It must be my fault". It wasn't and that is why I tell people "Domestic Violence is about Control and not about Anger". There women in these marriages sometimes need pyschological help, emotional support and encouragement to leave, more than money. It isn't just to say "Leave" but to say "you are not the problem, your attacker is. This is not your fault".

It really confounds me on how people get into this psychological abyss, what happened to their sense of preservation? Is it the fear of being alone or a case of genetic impairment that rid these women of all self love. Can it be obsession for the man or the act of being married? At some point I ruled it as some sort of masochism, may be a man that beats them turns them on. He probably signifies strength and brute force, the type only a psycho will find appealing .

My mum picked courage and left...Pls I'm advising and begging all women out there in violent marriage pls leave that man isn't worth it.
The God we serve will surely help you

Domestic abuse is not restricted to a particular gender. Domestic violence no be only beating o, it also includes emotional abuse, psychological, sexual and financial abuse.It usually starts with wanting to exert control, intimidation and all kinds of manipulation.
Most of the domestic abuse stories, hits closer to home than we may think. It can happen to anyone. http://naijagirlwrites..co.uk/2016/05/domestic-violence.html#more

byvan03:




The gist frustrates me because no matter what I say, you will always hear " am staying for the kids". I totally agree with you, most times these women's decision have nothing to do with finance.

I so hate staying for the kids thingy.

Domestic violence will never end if peeps keep 'staying' for the kids.

bukatyne:


I so hate staying for the kids thingy.

Domestic violence will never end if peeps keep 'staying' for the kids.

Cowardice is the issue, fear of the society.

walking away is not always easy for a number of reasons.if there r no kids yet and d relationship is abusive,it is always easier to get out.with kids,anything can happen!the man can even take away d kids from d woman and she can never be happy without Them.I would suggest d woman do a personal check.If it is something she does like nagging or goading tge man,she can try to stop.if d abuse is for no reason which I doubt,she can always turn it to God.
marriage is no longer what it used to be.ppl now get married for funny reasons age,money,beauty etc dt even when they see d signs,they still put their heads so many even going to d extent of getting pregnant deliberately.

Happywoman:
YOU WILL DIE IF YOU STAY
With an abusive husband.
This morning I am adressing all married women out there whose husbands beat them and is violent with them. I am not going to beat around the bush and gently counsel you, I am tired of doing that and I am even too angry for that this morning, so I'm gonna give it to you straight. Hear me and hear me well.
If you stay with a man who abuses you especially physically , who beats you up and inflicts injury on you, you are not being a faithful, committed and good Christian wife, you are being a foolish and unreasonable unchristian woman and believe me, you will finally die, he will kill you, if not now, very soon.
Now, the painful thing is that after you die, you will also go to hell and why, because your death will not be murder, it will be suicide because it was your choice to stay with an animal and be mauled to death! I don't mind a lady staying with and tolerating an irresponsible or even adulterous husband, but I draw a line over violence and abuse! Don't stay with a violent man who beats you! Read my lips, LEAVE that house! Get out!, take your kids and run as far as possible and don't tell me you have no where to go, you do, there is always a way when there is a will.
And please, Pls and Pls, no one should throw war room into my face, I am still trying to control the holy anger in me this morning, so Pls don't mention war room and remove the holy from the anger. Iv watched war room and in as much as prayer works, it is the living who has hope to pray, there is no hope of prayers in the grave where you will find yourself if you remain in an abusive marriage. If you want to build a War room for the mad man you are living Wth, go and build that war room in another place where you are safe to pray but LEAVE that house NOW!
Don't stay and die, he will eventually kill you and it wouldn't be intentional that day, he will be beating you as usual and things will get out of hands and you'll be dead and on your way to hell. GET OUT NOW!! I don't know who God is trying to save today by this post but you know yourself, I beg you, do not take my words lightly. And yes, you can share this write up, just acknowledge the writer.
Based on request I add this: this article is written by ADETUTU OSOFOWORA.

A TRUE HARD TALK FOR THE WISE WOMAN..

if our mothers were to go by this, they would all have left our fathers by now?

senseless thread....

every fruitful thing in life requires patience & endurance...
life it self is even not fun & rosy, then why would marriage be?

who no wan marry make she go sit down for one side jor....

From what I have seen, a lot of this is down to very faulty foundations.

I don't beleive that people suddenly change. They always had it within them.
Courtship is not for mr Biggs and attending shows alone but to take time to study the manor woman that you are trusting your life and happiness with.

What we should be doing is educating both men and women what is acceptable and what is out of bounds even before they tie the knot and even if per chance they themselves have a faulty upbringing, they will be able to work out what is acceptable and what isn't.

Women especially should only have the number of children that they can comfortably look after if anything happens and you have to run for your life
There is no need for 5 children if you are on a low wage. If you are giving up a career for for your family then ensure that you are well provided for and invest the money wisely.