Bros, do you know that ladies are like Shares traded at the Capital Market? Okay wait make i explain am:

INITIAL PUBLIC OFFER (IPO)

When a girl just mature and she don dey ripe to begin get Boyfriends na these kind of girls we dey call IPO (Initial Public Offer)

OFFER FOR SUBSCRIPTION

These are the kind of girls wey be say dem they ready to accept dating from any Guy just to belong. We dey call this kain girls Offer for Subscription.

PUBLIC OFFER

These are the Ashewos. Una know say Ashewos na mind the kain man wey dey carry them go bed in as much say money dey there. Their 'investment' is always available for would-be-investors any time any day. Na these kain girls we dey call Public Offer.

PRIVATE PLACEMENT

These na the rich people dem children. U know say rich people like make their children dey marry each other. If any poor man pickin, or their own pickin tell their rich papa or mama say dem wan marry a man from a poor home na war. Rather, na their parents dey place them privately go marry a fellow rich man pickin. This na wetin we dey call Private placement.

BONUS ISSUE

Some people go talk say this kain of bonus issue girls no good. Well, u may say so but for the Guys wey dey enjoy this kain 'shares' e gooood for them. When a girl don marry BUT anytime wey she jam her EX-BOYFRIEND dem still dey do the 'thing'. This kain girl na Bonus Issue for any Guy anyday anytime. How many of una Guys get this kain shares. BONUS ISSSUEEEEEE

RIGHT ISSUE

U know say if u never marry a girl, e dey hard say u wan go see am for dem house make her papa or mama see you. Bros, the thing dey hard o. But once you are officially join together as husband and wife, then you have the right to enter their house any day anytime, even smash the girl yansh for her parents face dem no fit talk again. Na ya right my brother. Na this kain girl we dey call RIGHT ISSUE.

OFFER FOR SALE

U know say e get some kain girls wey be say dem don over-ripe to marry and yet dem never marry so tey dem parents go dey hope and pray say make ANYBODY even come marry dem commot. Na this kain girls we dey call Offer for Sale


Bros, which kain 'share' you get for hand now? And if you be girl, which kain 'share' you be now?

Whatever kind of share wey you be or get, just know say the share brings GOOD RETURN at the end of the day oooo because even ladies share market sef dey crash ooooo. If not, why is there broken marriages in our society nowadays.

For better investment in these 'shares' please consult your MAMA, PAPA and ALMIGHTY GOD before investing in them oo.

Copy and paste.

how I wish I can have the whole time in the world to sit and type these

Heh.

Oops! lng tin

lol

hmmmn strange,funny nd true.

:p

Na true u talk sha! But since u are d registered stockbroker, which of d shares will u advise a prospective investor - a young barchelor like me to invest in which I will not risk my capital? Please advise.

Go for OFFER FOR SALE now

@Topic

@poster
kudos, that was tyte

I have been receiving alot of mails from would-be 'investors' seeking advice as per which of these type of 'shares' to invest in. Anyway, as your able GIRLBROKER (if u like call me stockbroker na u sabi ) with 15 years professional dealing experience in this FUN AND LOVE profession, i hope you will guideline below very useful in aiding your investment decision:


INITIAL PUBLIC OFFER (IPO)

[b]Advice:
This kind of investment is highly risky especially if you dey sponsor the girl for school. What if the girl come finish the school and come follow another man go? That means money (investment) don enter bush be that oooo.

OFFER FOR SUBSCRIPTION

Advice:
Na infidelity go characterize this kain relationship. Na this kain girl dey follow another man go immediately she notice say you no get wetin (money) she first see for ya body (abi na pocket sef). And if you vex and come veture ask her to return all wetin you don do or buy for her wen the going was good, she go simply tell you say, 'idi ti je (meaning: bottom don eat am). End of discussion!

PUBLIC OFFER[b][/b]

Advice[b][/b]
Na this kain girls (sorry i mean to say shares) dey provide chop money for all this tradomedical (the likes of Yem Kem, Oko oloyun, Ajase poki poki e.t.c) practitioners. Make i just no talk am finish but just continue to dey buy and use drugs wey fit kill Staplococcus, Symphilis, Ghnorrhea e.t.c. Don't be afraid to use those drugs o because NAFDAC don approve them.

PRIVATE PLACEMENT[b][/b]

Advice[b][/b]
You will be lucky to escape the hammer of this kain girl parents if you sabi run well well. This na because na Dog go everly pursue you if you venture go blow whistle say you wan see the girl for her parents' house. But if you venture enter the girl 18 yard box come give her belle (pregnant) then be ready to recite psalm 23 for law court. Do not say i did not advice you. I rest my case here.

BONUS ISSUE[b][/b]

Advice:
Have you heard of THUNDER BOLT (Mogun) before? If you are the kind of Guy who like dating married or sugar abi na honey mummy una dey call them sef. Then, be ready to drink 20 Buckets of water or summersault three times if you venture climb this kain 'horse' o. Although this kain women dey pay HIGH DIVIDEND (spoil you with money and stuffs like that) but e fit be say you dey exchange your destiny and fortune with the dividend o. By and large, the fear of THUNDER BOLT is the beginning of wisdom here o

OFFER FOR SALE

Advice[b][/b]
Na this kain wedding dem go write say, 'MONIKA HOOKS SEGUN' and not the proper 'MONIKA WEDS SEGUN'. Na this kain girls believe in the school of thought of AGE IS JUST A NUMBER because they are ready to get married to a Guy that is younger than their age just to get HOOK.

RIGHT ISSUE

Advice:
This kain share good well but na DOWRY PRICE LIST go make you run especialy if the girl na Igbo. If na hausa girl, just tell ya people for house say make dem help you boil water to take massage your back by the time you come back from the girl house becos dem go flog the hell out of you. But for yoruba girl, you go buy cloth and shoe for the girl father, mother, brothers and sisters, cousins, newphew, cousin's cousin, step mother, maiguard, e.t.c by the time you check ya account balance via ATM after all this buy buy, your account go read, "I DON'T WARN YOU BEFORE O. NOW YOUR ACCOUNT BALANCE NA 00000.0000.

Happy investment dudes

The description/subject doesnt tally with the post, as the post can be for guys too.
All scenarios can be applied to guys as well as girls.

It rubs me off the wrong way when people assume only Ladies prostitute. Wake up and smell the coffee!

Otherwise, good analogy.

ble ble    some things are well known while others remain as myths or fantasies. 

@ op,

u try sha!    but as per the advice wey u don dey give e mean say you dey consider yourself as 'broker'. remember that 'women-trafficking' na offense punishable by law.

:p :p

;d