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STATE OF THE ECONOMY by Karo Oforofuo

"Pree pre prepreprepreeeee" Air escaped from her back side, not quietly though.

"Don't you hear English?" John got up from the bed and covered his nose, while looking for something, anything, to throw at Rose..

Rose made a face at him before returning her attention to my books. She had assignments to finish and his ranting or discomfort wasn't going to stop her.

"Ah!" She cried, shortly after, as she felt something strong and heavy hit her hard on the back. "John what's the meaning of this?" She sat up, looking at the small metal borris he used to stone her.

"Its a warning." John sounded fulfilled.

"If the atmosphere isn't conducive for you, won't you carry your assignment and go to the dinning?"

"This room belongs to both of us. You can't chase me out. Either you stop polluting the air, or you go out."

"John," She said calmly."Are you aware that we have been eating beans since on Monday and today is Friday already?"

"Yes. But its no excuse."

"Why?"

"Because I have been eating beans too and I've never spoilt the air for you or chased you from the room with it."

"You what? Ha!" Rose burst into serious laughter. "Do you hear or perceive the bomb you release every night? I hear it, I inhale it and I don't even wake you up, why? Because I understand what constant beans can do to our system."

"I never did anything while I was asleep. You're just covering up for your own mischief."

"Oh, OK."

"Preeeeeeeeeeee" Rose let it go again.

"I just pity you." John covered his nose. And you're supposed to be a lady." Giving up on Rose as a hopeless case, he packed his books and carried his school bag before heading for the dinning table, all the while muttering insults.

"Mtchewww." Rose hissed. "As if he doesn't pollute the air. Why did God put a hole behind us? Is it not to let out gas? Lady kor lady ni"

The rest of the morning went well and Rose was finally able to finish her assignment, visit the toilet before heading out to play with the neighbour's children. They played, gossiped, went on errands together and finally said their goodbyes at about 6:00pm.

At exactly 6:10pm, Rose was home. A few minutes later, her dad returned from work- a polythene bag in one hand and a briefcase in the other. Rose and her mum welcomed him and took the bag and briefcase from him. The briefcase went to her parents' bedroom while the polythene bag went to the kitchen. One after the other, they brought out the items from the bag: Beans, Maggi, palm oil, crayfish, onions, pepper and 10 fingers of unripe plantain.

Rose looked at her mum, her mum looked back at her. Together, they sighed. It was the fifth day at a stretch they were eating beans. Her dad had refused to buy anything else. He insisted that because of the state of the economy, beans was the cheapest meal one could afford.

"Imagine cooking rice." He said once. "Rice costs so much, tomatoes has become gold, so how exactly do you want us to eat rice?"

"We don't have to eat it morning, afternoon and night of everyday." Her mum countered. "Give me the money next time, I'll know how to manage it and still give us variety."

Her dad didn't. He insisted on buying beans, everyday. In the mornings, they eat akara balls made from the remaining beans and in the afternoon they ate bread. At night, beans was it again. That was their routine.

"Isn't he purging? Or is his stomach not grumbling? I'm tired of bean already." Rose grumbled, lowering her voice so her dad doesn't hear her.

"Aren't you happy you are seeing the beans to eat?" Her mother asked, after managing to get her morale back. "Supposing you had nothing at all."

"At least I won't be gassing around and John won't be calling me names."

"You're just being naughty." She concluded.

That night, she closed her eyes as she drove the first spoon full of beans and plantain porridge into her mouth. Rose had expected to get irritated and throw up all over the place. But it was not so. Her mum really worked her magic and she enjoyed every bit of the porridge. Afterwards, she packed all the plates to the kitchen and washed up.

"Rose will soon start gassing o! Just watch and see." John announced after his sister had returned to the sitting room. The 8 o,clock news was on and their dad was watching it, at least, until John interrupted him with his accusation against Rose.

"Even if she is gassing, leave her alone. What did God give us a hole for?" Their father asked, taking Rose's side.

"Can't she control it?" Their mum frowned. "And you're supporting her. She's a girl. She should learn to control it."

"You sef, don't you release gas?" Her dad turned on her mum, making the children chuckle. "My friend will you be quiet?" He yelled at them. "You think its funny to laugh at your mother?"

"Its you that's encouraging them now. And besides have you ever seen me do what you're accusing me of? I control myself, always."

"Me too." John added. It was then their dad burst into serious laughter. In the process, they heard the sound-, loud, like a bomb "booom!"

Silence followed, shortly. The expression on the children's faces were priceless as they covered their nose, stifling a laugh.

"Oh!" Their mum exclaimed with mouth opened and hands covering it. "In the presence of the kids?"

"My dear, its a free world. After all we are inside the house."

"Ah, ah, papa Rose...!"

" What? Don't you do your own? He cut her short.

"I don't" her lips were set.

"When you sleep at night, do you know how many bombs you send to me?"

If it happened when I was asleep, then it was a mistake, not on purpose."

"John does the same." Rose said, laughing.

"Oh, you see? Her dad joined the laughter.

During this time, Rose's tommy had started to rumble and pressure had started to gather in her waist. The pressure intensified, all thanks to laughing. And because she didn't care or try to control her self, she let it out- loud "Preeeeeeeeeeeeee"

"Jesus!" John exclaimed and ran out of the sitting room already holding his nose.

"Where is he running to?" Their dad asked. "Its not even smelling and ... Jesus!" He covered his nose and turned to Rose, angry. "What is this?"

The stench in the sitting room was past bearing. How her parents managed to remain in it was a miracle.

"Your brother doesn't do this sort of thing." Her mum said, shooting angry eyes at her. "You who is a girl, have no control."

"Ah ah, its the beans I ate now."

"So?" Her dad barked. "Didn't I eat the same beans? Why didn't mine smell like this?" He was hand fanning the air around him, apparently the rotating ceiling fan wasn't enough.

"Daddy I thought you supported nature's call."

Ehen? So? Does it give you license to release what you just released? No wonder John already ran out."

"Sorry daddy, sorry mummy." She apologized, her head hanging low. "Its just that its beans we have been eating and my stomach doesn't take it well. Mummy lost her job, you haven't been paid in five months. John and I are just JSS 2 students and we really don't know how to make money yet, that's why we are not supporting the house."

"Its no reason why you can't control yourself." Her mother said, mildly, understanding her situation.

"Don't worry my dear." Her father added. "I got a cheque for an old job I did. I'll catch the money tomorrow and we will eat something different for a change."

Rose smiled. She was really happy her experience with everyday beans was about to be over for good.

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