1. Any man who successfully convinces a monkey that honey is sweeter than banana, is capable of selling condoms to a Roman father.
2. Dear ladies, if your boyfriend did not wish you a happy mother's day or sing sweet mother for you, stop breastfeeding him.
3. He who swallows a complete coconut have trust in his A.nus.
4. Dear sisters don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when its raining because you are not an umbrella.
5. Swimming pool is more useful than Liverpool.
6. If over 15 guys have sucked your breasts, you don't need to call those things "your breasts" its call COW BELL, OUR MILK!
7. Its hard to bewitch African girls these days. Every time you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a factory in china catches fire.
8. All I hear always is,' No sex before marriage' if that was God plan, then you would receive your pen!s on your wedding day.
9.The only warning Africans take serious is LOW BATTERY.
10. Men sucking ladies breast is normal because the act was learnt in childhood when they were young but the act of ladies sucking d*ck is what baffles me, where did they learn it from?
11. Whenever things seems to start going well in your life, the devil comes along and gives you a girlfriend.
12. When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don't take goat as a friend.
13. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and still single, you are not different from a canopy.
14. Dating a slim/ slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his libs draw adidas lines on your face.
15. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don't walk around with X-rays to see inner beauty.
16. Respect pregnant women because its not easy to walking around with evidence that you've had sex.
17. I stopped trusting ladies when my class 3 girlfriend left me for another boy because he bought a sharpener with a mirror.
18. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.
19. Being dumped by a dark girl is the worst thing ever, because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional.
20. When ones goat gets missing, the aroma of a neighbor's soup gets suspicious.
21. Its better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustle for it than a girl to deny you a hole she didn't drill.
22. Even Satan wasn't gay, he approached naked Eve instead of naked Adam.
23. If you are a married man and you find yourself attracted to school girls, just buy your wife a school uniform.
24. Its every man's dream to remove a woman's pant one day, but not when its on a drying line.
25. They said long leadership is not good,but the more I lead the more I learn...Now am a better leader.

2015 COLLECTIONS
1. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newly wed wife but lately, there is nothing as such any longer because it'll have already been given out as birthday gift, token of appreciation, job assurance, church collection, Examination marking schemes and for lorry fares...
2. Treat every part of your towel nicely because the part that wipes your buttocks today will wipe your face tomorrow.
3. We are in a generation where people in love are free to touch each others private parts but cannot touch each others phones because they are private.
4. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realize witchcraft is real.
5. If president Barack Obama wants me to allow marriage for same-sex couples in my country, he must come here so that I marry him first.
6. Cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end.
7. Journalist: Sir don't you think 89 years would be a great time to retire as a president.
Mugabe: Have you ever asked the queen of England this question? or is it just for African leaders?
8. Interviewer: Mr. president, when are you bidding the people of Zimbabwe farewell?
Mugabe: Where are they going?

some of these might be Mugabe's but not all of these quotes are Mugabe's