tpia.:

They may still talk and complain regardless anyway.

Tanna:


1. No I was not Big when we were dating. I gained more weight with each child over the years. But I have been big LONGER than the years I was normal weight.

2. About the visa- He actually applied for Nigerian passports for the kids, I did not qualify for a Nigerian passport [/b]so he applied for a visa for me. All at the same time. He showed me the kids passports, but keeps saying more info is needed for my visa, [b]Like a 2nd letter of invitation from his family, and one thing after another. he never showed me the letter from the consulate to prove they are really requesting more info. He keeps saying he has it in his office at work and keeps forgetting to bring it home for me to read.

3. I am not huge. I have been asked to model since I have been this size. Men check me out or flirt with me all the time, american and otherwise. so its not like I'm not attractive. That's why I don't understand this sudden concern-- and RUSH for me to lose weight for the trip. Sure I probably should try to lose weight-- but he is behaving as if it it urgent for the trip.

4. I am the size of Jennifer Hudson when she played in DreamGirls. My profile has a pic to example my size. That's not me, but looks a lot like me.

Tanna:

The Point IS, I do look good. he always made me believe I look good, but now suddenly- we are going to Nigeria and I am just finding out that we've been living a lie. I look good enough for America, but not good enough for Nigeria?! that makes no sense.

If I did not look good, then he should have told me looong before a trip to Naija was planned. I can't be attractive in 1 city and a baboon in the next-- when the husband is still the same.

i will try to lose some weight, but I am angry because he should want me to lose weight for good health, NOT JUST to show off for his people. And if my weight was no problem here in the U.S., then there should be no urgency to drop pounds BEFORE the trip.

there are many obese women in naija and yorubas have their fare share so it is not like you will be the only BBW woman in your plane let alone his village because until recently the only gym we saw in naija was via TV and magazines.

Well- i am healthy- I'm just overweight.

ayomidej:

Size is not a problem in the Yoruba culture, maybe your husband has boasted to his friends that his wife is a slim woman (LEPA) and now you are going to naija, he wants you to lose some weight. If I were you I will not give in to him easily, I will lose on my own terms and its good to lose weight because of any health problems.

How many stones do you weigh - 20, 40 60, 80 or 100

bawomolo:

yeah right

what's with UK people and stones. didn't they tell you olodo's about pounds and kilos in school 

[size=18pt]Please, show us how the UK people become the Olodo here?  If the person who stole their language and tried to make it his by changing certain quarters to suit himself is not an Olodo, I wonder who is. 

Yet, at the end of the day, both POUNDS, KILOS, STONES etc are of European construct - Pounds and Stones are ENGLISH LANGUAGE that belongs to the ENGLISH hence British English. Kilogrammes is a FRENCH construct and belongs to the FRENCH.  Now, show us the AMERICAN'S above, let us see!  You have the guts to use our language and make unnecessary noises, how dare you[/size]

Theblessed:

[size=18pt]Please, show us how the UK people become the Olodo here?  If the person who stole their language and tried to make it his by changing certain quarters to suit himself is not an Olodo, I wonder who is. 

Yet, at the end of the day, both POUNDS, KILOS, STONES etc are of European construct - Pounds and Stones are ENGLISH LANGUAGE that belongs to the ENGLISH hence British English. Kilogrammes is a FRENCH construct and belongs to the FRENCH.  Now, show us the AMERICAN'S above, let us see!  You have the guts to use our language and make unnecessary noises, how dare you[/size]

My husband has not been home in 15 years so we went to Abuja to visit. I met all the family and had a great time. Everyone complimented me on how pretty I was, so when his particular brother always looking at me lustfully - I ignored it - and try not to have a big head for being attractive.

My husband and I were given this brother's room to stay for our visit. The night before we came back to the US. he and all his brothers, and cousins, and old pals from school went out  to party and drink. This one brother came back to the house early because he had work the next day.

He came into the bedroom  and I was there asleep. At first I thought it was my husband, but
the way he approach me for sex was not my husband style - and my husband already told me no sex for us in his family's house.

I said "Who is this?" - he said "I know you want me - i've been catching your eye too". He was very drunk I think from the smell of his breath. This man forced himself on me sexually.   I DID Fight him to get off me, but I never screamed because I did not want to wake the house or be caught in this horrible situation. Finally I lay there and hoped it would end quickly.

Later My hubby came back and I pretended to be asleep. I was shocked.

The next day we were at the airport to fly back to the US. I was very quiet and acting sad He thought I was just sick.

I never told my husband what happened. I was too scared and ashamed. The thought that I would even claim this has happened to me would tear his family apart - and he was just seeing them after 15 years of absence.

Now it's 3 months later and I am pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy 3 years ago so I cannot tell my husband I am pregnant - talk less of saying I am pregnant cause his own flesh and blood attacked me during our trip to his home.

I don't know if this brother planned to do this since I was leaving the country the next day, or maybe because he was drunk and knew no better - I really do not care. I feel like a used animal and my husband may beat or divorce me when he learns I am pregnant because he will think I have committed adultery.

WHAT DO I DO?

agabaI23:

According to this thread

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=66979.msg1304657#msg1304657

and this post from the thread
You have visited naija which is what I was trying to recall above. Let us assume that you travelled then with a visiting Visa, why would you tell us you are going to see his brothers and sisters for the first time when one of the brothers raped you?

What are trying to find out? Something does not add up here. I stand to be corrected though.