NATURAL BEAUTY

An average Nigerian guy wants a naturally beautiful woman. What he means by this is that you need to look like Beyonce on her album covers, only that you should achieve this look without make-up on.

You need to embrace your natural hair, only that is shouldn't be kinky and you shouldn't wear hair extensions either. Putting on virgin hair extensions is a disgrace because it makes you a slave to the white woman, while putting on braids made of plastic shows your true beauty (well its beautiful because its the cheaper option).

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE

A figure 8 is a must- have! You need to look like Nicki Minaj but do not use cosmetic surgery to achieve the look. Just look for a way to manupilate your genes and hormones with fufu, idomie and yam, so you can have the perfect figure. Healthy foods are too expensive and unnecesary, so you will just have to look for a way of tricking that fufu into keeping your weight steady. Do not sign up for gym unless you are using your own money, use the bricks at home and make the most of those pothole filled roads for jogging.

BE GOD-FEARING

Your relationship with God is the most important thing. You need to be prayful so that when he beats you up or cheat on you, you do not divorce him or charge him with domestic violence. Anytime he mistreats you, you should not take any other action that is not crying or begging him to stop. Remember,you are African! Submission has its own meaning, "suffer in silence".

KEEP YOUR VIRGINITY

This is the only thing a woman brings into a marriage, but as soon as he breaks it you need to make sure you can perform better than the 500women he has slept with before, otherwise he will just go back to them for satisfaction. You will still need to be careful of trying out new things and improving your performance because he might just suspect you of cheating on him. Be patient for him to come and teach you what he learnt at a hotel on his business trip last weekend.

YOU SHOULD BE INDEPENDENT

You should work and make your own money but you should not have a mind of your own. Let his head think for the both of you. You do not need a demanding job that requires you to leave home early and come back home late, that will leave you too exhausted for sex. Just look for anything that is not prostitution that will get you 3times the money without putting in half the sweat.

ALWAYS LOOK GOOD

Look for a way of looking like Daphne Joy in a bikini but without the bikini, try and achieve the same look with your clothes on. Its not decent for an African woman to move around half naked, keep your clothes and let those Western devils keep us and our vaseline busy. Look for a way of transforming yourself like Kim Kardashian without plastic surgery, if she snaps pictures in the gym 4weeks after liposuction and a butt lift, you need to make sure you do the same without the $20,000 enhancements. Do not let science fool you, you can gain fat in your ass from gyming too!

DO NOT BE A SELL-OUT

Never believe all that nonsense you see on TV about white guys opening doors and buying you flowers. Real men do not open up doors for women because it makes them weak, they do not take you out on dates because it makes them a maga.
Real men, expect you to cook, clean and have sex with them for free. Its prostitution when you start asking him for financial favours, besides sex is there for both of you to enjoy, but forget the fact that you have never had an orgasm before.
And never ever date or marry outside your race, all those other men do not have d*ck as good as black d*ck! Why will you need a romantic guy, who shows up on dates on time and takes you on holiday trips, when you could be with your Mandingo warrior entertaining his entire village in your house?

MOST IMPORTANTLY! Stop trying to look, talk or act like a white woman, although its adorable when a white woman speaks pidgin, eats egusi and wears our traditional attires on social media.

(Howls in laughter)

Mandingo warrior, slaving away to feed his village. What more bliss does a woman need o base

Great stuff!

Remember girls, they love you natural, with a smooth even said complexion. But don't bleach or tone. Also make time to go to the gym, after your 9-5 (to bring in your share of the expenses) and mad traffic and cooking stew fresh from scratch and bathing the kids (whilst he takes a much-needed break in front of the telly).

And if he cheats, ladies, it's your fault and God's fault: you weren't perfect and God made Man polygamous in Nature (then strangely told him to cleave to one woman several times in the bible and even pointed out the dangers of polygamy with different characters but nooooo, that doesn't suit their narrative so out the window!).

Onegai:


Mandingo warrior, slaving away to feed his village. What more bliss does a woman need o base

NIGERIAN MAN BEING ROMANTIC: kai see shape, if i catch you ehn, i will make you scream all night

OTHERS BEING ROMANTIC: When I look at you, I know that there’s a God and that he loved me so much that he took the time to create you, just for me.

A God-fearing Hausa/Fulani woman:

- Covers her entire body head to toe
- Wears very little or no makeup
- Always has her natural hair on
- Usually has a slim figure without visiting gyms and even if on the big side, tends not to get very fat
- Is very religious and does not play with her belief in Allah
- Keeps her virginity till marriage
- Does not dwell so much on money or wealth
- Always looks really attractive
- Is definitely not a sell-out that wants to speak or act like a westerner

....and after all these, it is still a known fact that the Hausa/Fulani woman's beauty and poise is one that can't be rivaled by any other group of Nigerian women...she remains the most family-oriented, submissive, respectable, soft-spoken, beautiful, sexy, gracious, and attractive woman without breaking a sweat or trying very hard to be any better than her creator made her to be.
Is she not a perfect Nigerian woman, or some other nationality?


This here is one of the few things that still amazes me in this world where everyone is trying to be someone else because they don't appreciate themselves.

The 'generic' response to this from women will be 'oya, make una go date and marry the Hausa/Fulani women na'...
Well, I'm pretty sure many men would do that if it were easy to just run into them on the roads, at parties, or at nightclubs - and I'm sure everyone already knows why we don't run into them.
Not to mention how one has to become Muslim to marry a Hausa/Fulani woman.



Dem no go like to read this kind post ooo.

Una done come o.

Seems a lot of women are not enjoying their relationships or marriages.Sad reality.
Why all these lamentations?

thorpido:
Seems a lot of women are not enjoying their relationships or marriages.Sad reality.
Why all these lamentations?

It seems so.

But the sarcasm in the post is just so hilarious, painfully hilarious.

crackhaus:
A God-fearing Hausa/Fulani woman:
- Covers her entire body head to toe
- Wears very little or no makeup
- Always has her natural hair on
- Usually has a slim figure without visiting gyms and even if on the big side, tends not to get very fat
- Is very religious and does not play with her belief in Allah
- Keeps her virginity till marriage
- Does not dwell so much on money or wealth
- Always looks really attractive
- Is definitely not a sell-out that wants to speak or act like a westerner
....and after all these, it is still a known fact that the Hausa/Fulani woman's beauty and poise is one that can't be rivaled by any other group of Nigerian women...she remains the most family-oriented, submissive, respectable, soft-spoken, beautiful, sexy, gracious, and attractive woman without breaking a sweat or trying very hard to be any better than her creator made her to be.
Is she not a perfect Nigerian woman, or some other nationality?
This here is one of the few things that still amazes me in this world where everyone is trying to be someone else because they don't appreciate themselves.
The 'generic' response to this from women will be 'oya, make una go date and marry the Hausa/Fulani women na'...
Well, I'm pretty sure many men would do that if it were easy to just run into them on the roads, at parties, or at nightclubs - and I'm sure everyone already knows why we don't run into them.
Not to mention how one has to become Muslim to marry a Hausa/Fulani woman.
Dem no go like to read this kind post ooo.

so true
I grew up in the north and i can attest to the fact that the Hausa/Fulani woman is everything you mentioned up there. She's almost too perfect to be real but she does exist.
She's the best without even trying
.
.
And I guess Crackhause's post just about makes this thread dead on arrival.

Tag me when you find a list on how to be an imperfect Nigerian wife .

thorpido:
Seems a lot of women are not enjoying their relationships or marriages.Sad reality.
Why all these lamentations?

It is sad. But honestly I think both parties need to manage their expectations and just treat each other in a nice manner. I think this poster was actually reacting to what we read on NL.

OP... You are just soooooo correct

perfect?

Onegai:


It is sad. But honestly I think both parties need to manage their expectations and just treat each other in a nice manner. I think this poster was actually reacting to what we read on NL.

I knew her thread is a reaction to events on nairaland and in real life but it's not that bad.
A sizeable number of Nigerian men don't have Op's expectations.

It's important that couples treat each other well.

Arsenate:
so true
I grew up in the north and i can attest to the fact that the Hausa/Fulani woman is everything you mentioned up there. She's almost too perfect to be real but she does exist.
She's the best without even trying
.
.
And I guess Crackhause's post just about makes this thread dead on arrival.

Lol... I like to offer up a good clapback once in a while.