I Have A Family Problem - Family - Nairaland
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| I Have A Family Problem by CHIMCO(m): 5:13pm On Aug 20, 2016 |
My neighbours wife put to bed. I am making arrangement on how to pay vist to the child with gifts. My wife also put to bed early this year and Surprisenly, i was at work when my wife called me and informed me that this very neigbour came to visit our child with tubers of yam and diaper(my babe). I was surprised because i wasnt expecting anything from them and i know that they are poor sharing one room. I thanked them. Now they had a new babe and i am planning to pay a visit. My wife asked me what i intend to buy, i told her i want to buy the following: 1 SMA gold 2. Diaper(pampers) 3 detergent(zip big size) and bottles of eve water big sizes. My wife opposed to the above and insist on the following: 1 that it is her sole responsibility to buy things for them, that i should give her the money.( i know she will not buy what i want) 2 she said they uses NAN babe formular and WOW detergent. That i should give them what they use. But the above things i mentioned was what i normally use for my children and i can afford it for them. We are having serious issues on the above now. My wife threatens to size the items and use it on our children if i buy the ones our children uses. She even alleaged that i have eyes on her on mere alleagation that she talks and laughs with me whenever she is not around and thats the reason i want to buy what our children uses for them. Please i need your candid advice on the above. My wife is also a member of this forum she will also read and learn. Thanks. |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by Nobody: 5:25pm On Aug 20, 2016 |
That shouldn't have spring forth quarrel and for such to happen, it means your wife and the said lady aren't in good terms. Women can be annoying over things that doesn't matter, but learning to lie low and crawl back to your shell is always the best alternative to avoid a striking headline tomorrow. You know your wife more than i and according to you, she won't buy the items if given the money. Then go ahead, buy those items and present to that neighbour of yours. You are the man and she should submit to your decisions. 10 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by medexico(m): 5:30pm On Aug 20, 2016 |
Your wife has a point and so do you. In order to avoid marital problems please just do what your wife wants, you may not give her the money but you can buy what she said. Avoid argument as she has accused you laughing with the other woman. That's a red flag. 3 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by Seunwife(m): 5:46pm On Aug 20, 2016 |
Men and being tooo fast to please neighbour without their wife's approval. This is marriage, it is possible that woman don't rapor well with your wife the way she comes closer to you, therefore you have to apply wisdom. Buy what they use according to your wife and give them. Simple! 6 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by Nobody: 6:45pm On Aug 20, 2016 |
women like wahala sha....is it everyday that you would be buying the stuffs you want to give to your neighbors.... she should relax on a second thought, i think you should stand tall and stick with what you decided to give them its going to be awkward if after what they gave you guys, you give them stuffs that wont be appreciated |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by byvan03: 7:13pm On Aug 20, 2016 |
Put the money in an envelope and give them. Just cut the long story short. Usually women buy those stuffs but your wife seems to be the stingy and paranoid type. So present the money in an envelope before she buys embarrassing gifts. Don't buy baby milk, buy non consumables. 34 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by duduade: 10:46pm On Aug 20, 2016 |
Your wife is an illiterate... No beef Boss.... 4 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by CHIMCO(m): 11:43pm On Aug 20, 2016 |
duduade:No, she is a graduate, top of her class. choose your words carefully. 17 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by blank(f): 1:39am On Aug 21, 2016 |
Don't give yourself headache, do what she wants. Which is more important, your peaceful family or your neighbours approval? Learn to pick your battles. This is not worth a quarrel at all. Nan milk is also very good, cheaper but not necessarily worse off. Give your wife the money to buy the items and then when you visit, give them some money as well if it will make you feel better. But this is not worth a quarrel at all. 1 Like |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by Nobody: 2:07am On Aug 21, 2016 |
CHIMCO: its obvious some of the above posters dont know how families should be run.. this is entirely your wife's responsibility to determine what to present to them as gifts and it's more beautiful when she buy them her self...this is domestic issue which requires you to be an observer if you're not satisfy with what she presented just pretend.. .......later find another way to complement it in other to please your mind never you try to override your wife in anything consigning domestic issues as she would feel disregarded as you also deserve her respect, it's give and take situation garbage in garbage out 5 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by CHIMCO(m): 7:19am On Aug 21, 2016 |
blank:Thanks but She strongly opposed any physical cash on them, indeed that was my initial thoughts. And I don't want to give them anything behind her back to avoid her concluding her suspicion....She is even threatening to call my people that I have feelings for my neighbour's wife. l believed that a gift that did not cost you is not a gift. |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by Onegai(f): 7:55am On Aug 21, 2016 |
Double post. |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by Onegai(f): 8:03am On Aug 21, 2016 |
I get where you're coming from but honestly when it comes to baby stuff, people tend to stick to what they can trust. I didn't use some of the baby stuff people gave me because it's not what I used normally (but I thanked them prettily and didn't say it to their faces). Especially formula is a touchy subject (this milk may cause constipation in baby, same milk may do nothing). So buy the NAN 1 and WOW detergent but double the quantity. Add something like baby clothes for 3-6 months or older. Tell your wife she should learn to be more gracious. Give her the gifts to present to the family and let the matter end. Your wife thinks you like this neighbour more than her, tell her it's easy to be around people who make you feel at ease. So if she wants to embarass herself by calling a family meeting over a petty matter, well it's her choice. 9 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by eyinjuege: 8:12am On Aug 21, 2016 |
What is all this talk about you and your neighbor's wife? Does your wife think you're the father of the newborn baby? She seems paranoid, and doesn't have a good rapport with your neighbor's wife. I'm sure she dislikes her. The whole issue sef is so petty. Don't buy sma gold, don't buy omo, warris that sef? Anyway, forget the baby food. Buy washing detergent, soaps and diapers. Whenever they're doing naming or child dedication, give the baby small change. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by byvan03: 11:10am On Aug 21, 2016 |
OP but why is your wife suspecting you ? It seems your fidelity is in doubt, you should worry about that more. It's not good for your reputation as the man of the house at all. She don catch before? 2 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by gidjah(m): 11:55am On Aug 21, 2016 |
YEA YEA EDUCATED BUT NOT learned enough to make sacricfices and Show total love in letting things BE.EVEN saying you have eyes for d lady really shows her level educatedness and learnedness.women and trouble na like bread and butter...difficult to ever seperate . CHIMCO: 5 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by CHIMCO(m): 12:10pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
byvan03:I dont have any feelings whatsoever with her. It just that according to my wife she greets and talks to me more than her. |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by byvan03: 12:13pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
CHIMCO: So other than your neighbour, she never had a cause for alarm? She never almost or actually caught you? You didn't answer my question. What is fuelling her insecurity? |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by Nobody: 12:43pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
Your wife is Wicked......yes!! Very wicked,mtcheew What is the big deal if you buy what you use for your baby for your neighbour's baby?? considering the fact that they even bought things for ur wife despite their financial constraint when she gave birth....I think you should go ahead and buy what you want to buy for them.....I don't think your wife will break your head if you do that 11 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by cococandy(f): 1:05pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
If your wife says they use something different than what you want to give them, maybe have a rethink. You don't want to give a gift that they won't really use. I don't even know what's worth quarreling about in this matter. Let your wife oversee the giving of the gifts. Buy them and let her be the one to send it. As long as it's not beneath what you intended to give them it's all good. Address the issue of your wife's suspicion. Maybe she is simply paranoid but a little doubt can sow a seed that will grow into something huge tomorrow. 2 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by dahmie2013: 1:11pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
@Op, 4rm ur description, any sane human being will relate more with u dan with ur wife. Seems u're an open person with a large heart, ur wife's d opposite. I don't blame d woman 4 talking more 2 u, probably ur wife looks down on dem. But I'm glad u mentned she'll read d comments, let her know dat dis life is a phase & nothing lasts 4eva. Dey might be poor 2day, but only God knows 2moro. 19 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by janvier27(m): 3:02pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
Strikes me as stingy, proud and controlling. Allow her for peace. The cash suggestion is good. 5 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by shegxi(m): 3:42pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
Ur wife is just plain stingy!!! Someone suggested money in envelope, just do dat and move on. 9 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by stitcheD(m): 5:26pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
Guy just give her the money to buy whatever she feels is right. If you argue or stretch it me self go suspect you. Do not place another man's peace of mind over yours. See as you dey swear over nothing 3 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by Nobody: 5:40pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
byvan03:Youve said it all. 1 Like |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by CHIMCO(m): 6:25pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
stitcheD:lol... my brother I'm not swearing, just stating the facts. Thanks |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by OgaSirAde(m): 7:40pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
Women and issues of life  Op if I were you I will go on with what I want to do as far as that's what am led to do. Just find a way of getting the items across.2 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by Nobody: 8:23pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
Wahala! I don't even see how this is an issue in the real scheme of things compared to real issues in marriage. It all Sounds so petty Just give her the money and let her do what she wants with it Shebi she ate the yams that the other couple gave her and her baby pooed in the nappy. Let her conscience be the judge. She clearly doesn't like the woman so just keep away from it all Life is too short for all this gbomi si omi o to wahala In future, you cant go wrong with money in an envelope. It also prevents you buying gifts that people wont use Baby food is not something you chop and change. So if their baby does not drink SMA then there is no point in buying it 2 Likes |
| Re: I Have A Family Problem by Qualer: 9:22pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
byvan03: 2 Likes
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| Re: I Have A Family Problem by Qualer: 9:27pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
dahmie2013: 2 Likes
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| Re: I Have A Family Problem by GodnGold: 11:06pm On Aug 21, 2016 |
CHIMCO, buy the exact things they bought when your wife put to bed. |
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