Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late - Family - Nairaland
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| Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by lukasmuyiwa(m): 11:18pm On Sep 05, 2016 |
Am the first born of my father and you already know a male child have lots of responsibilities let alone being the first male child... my mom is dead and my dad is married to another woman. whereas, this woman bore him four male children and a female child but my dad insists that am not serious because of my exposure...I have an elder being the overall firstborn but my dad often says how sweet could it have been if my elder happens to be a boy and anytime he says that I feel depressed but as bad guy I don't put that in mind for long...I was monitoring his shop before he said am squandering his money and I left just to go out and know what's up.... but I know this man really like me but he keeps on saying am not serious that he even seek help from clerics and Shepherds just because of me....and I've tried all my possible best to make him happy but he's still saying am stubborn.......Guys pls what trick do u think I can do to make happy and we should just be like Brothers...he's rich and I don't want what belongs to me get to another person ( my stepbrothers)... a friend of mine told me to start joking with him but I don't think that can work. Any suggestion pls?? |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by Nobody: 11:38pm On Sep 05, 2016 |
Hmmmmmm OP your ending statement is where I will comment from- he's rich and I don't want what belongs to me get to another person ( my stepbrothers)... Pls never depend on inheriting the wealth of your father to be successful in life. Why do I say this? You made mention of your father marrying another woman who bore him 4 sons....... Never under-estimate the powers of a woman. If she is the jealous type, she will do whatever she can to get the lions share of your father's wealth to her own kids. ' I have an elder being the overall firstborn but my dad often says how sweet could it have been if my elder happens to be a boy and anytime he says that I feel depressed but as bad guy I don't put that in mind for long...I was monitoring his shop before he said am squandering his money and I left just to go out and know what's up.... but I know this man really like me but he keeps on saying am not serious that he even seek help from clerics and Shepherds just because of me' What I see of you here is an arrogant young man who is not ready to amend his was.... Perhaps you are the spoilt type who doesn't know he is aging daily. Oga Sir you cannot claim your dear father loves you and at the same time he can't entrust the care and management of his enterprise into your hands. Rather the old man is busy going from one religious house to the other seeking for help on your behalf. Summarily...... I deduce your main aim of writing this post is to seek a way of securing your father's inheritance as his first son. If that is the mindset you have, even if you inherit all he has, it won't be long you will squander it all. You need to take an honest personal probation, get across to your older sibling and find out what you are not doing fine in relating with your father and your position in the family generally. If you are a Christian, meet your spiritual leader and explain everything thing to him. My advice to you....... Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Don't depend to make it in life with only your father's wealth. There is another woman and kids remember....... Be more responsible in the home and stop acting or being a bad guy..... It won't take you far in life. 15 Likes |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by eyinjuege: 12:01am On Sep 06, 2016 |
Your father has seven children, and his properties should be shared amongst you all. Don't you want your step brothers and sisters to inherit anything from your father? They are equally his children too you know. Learn to see them as your blood because they are, and don't be greedy or selfish. I hope your father leaves a will Its better you struggle to make it on your own, and also leave your children an inheritance. Agbojulogun fi ara re fun osi ta.... It's a yoruba proverb meaning whoever hopes on inheritance exposes himself to poverty i.e never rely on another man's property....... Your father loves you, and that's why he wants you to take life seriously, and be more responsible. He wants you to represent him when he's no more. He wants you to be able to cater for your younger ones even if he's no more, and to hold the family together. How can he trust you when you spend his money without his permission? How can he leave his businesses in your care when you're more concerned about just spending the proceeds? I'm sure he's seriously concerned about you, and he still loves you nonetheless. Listen to him, and stop forming big boy about Town. If you're in school, face your studies squarely, and be the best. If you've graduated, continue your hustling and you can even work with your father provided you're ready to listen to him or even make good suggestions that'll help his business grow. 3 Likes |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by sisisioge: 6:55am On Sep 06, 2016 |
 You are indeed not serious! 4 Likes |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by lukasmuyiwa(m): 7:11am On Sep 06, 2016 |
eyinjuege:Ha, am doing what I think I'm suppose to be doing but yet he keep on complaining of my arrant attitude |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by eyinjuege: 8:14am On Sep 06, 2016 |
lukasmuyiwa: You need to check yourself well. What may seem normal to you may be arrant rudeness or obnoxiousness to him. Learn to listen, and talk less. You gain a lot by just listening. I know we all aren't quiet people, but for now try and be quiet and listen to others more. Till you can find a suitable balance for you. Then ask him questions politely of course if you don't understand some of his decisions and reasons for asking you to do a particular thing. The way and manner you ask determines the kind of response you'll also get. If he sees you're asking genuinely, and not being sarcastic or trying to be naughty he will give you a genuine answer and not a dismissive one. Also let him see you love your siblings. Always ask after their school work from them, help them out whenever you can. Hang out with them, and advice them as a big brother (don't go and start advising them on how to be carrying girls about o  ) Show genuine interest in your younger ones. The same blood runs in your veins. Your father is probably worried that if he dies , you might throw out your younger ones and want to lay claim to his properties. No father wants any of his children to suffer (you and your half siblings in this case). I'm sure he wants you to be close to your siblings, that's what most parents wish. |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by cococandy(f): 8:20am On Sep 06, 2016 |
lukasmuyiwa:give us a specific example of the attitude he complains about. Let's know if he's just complaining unnecessarily. BTW what he had belongs to all of you. Not just the first son or male children. |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by jashar(f): 9:03am On Sep 06, 2016 |
Instead of you to focus on making your own wealth. |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by Chubhie: 10:19am On Sep 06, 2016 |
Your intentions ain't pure. Your current desperation might lead you to unhealthy things which you would regret. Your future and destiny lies in nobody's hands but you. Discover your purpose.You are not here to struggle and battle for your father's properties after his death. He can Will all the millions to you and you squander it in record time. You still have quite a long way to go. Your current perception must be radically altered and realigned with your ultimate purpose on God's earth. Perhaps, it's time to leave thy father's house in pursuit of purpose? |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by Chubhie: 10:25am On Sep 06, 2016 |
jashar:Perhaps,you were lucky to have parents that inculcated the right values and principles in you?Instead of you to focus on making your own wealth. Not everyone had that luxury. Be grateful.Be kind.Show some understanding. |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by jashar(f): 11:19am On Sep 06, 2016 |
Chubhie: Nope.  How was i unkind?  What exactly am i supposed to understand? |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by lukasmuyiwa(m): 11:18pm On Sep 06, 2016 |
cococandy:infact I can't say one but I know it in mind that am trying my best..and he just like saying I have solid mind or stomach I don't knw how to put it..and an idea came to me that I should ask him my mistakes so I can correct them but I know if I should ask he won't say a genuine reason. meanwhile, they've never brought my case from outside to him but I just wonder like what should I start doing with him? should I be joking with him or I don't just know what to do.....and besides I fear when it comes to face me I face u talk.....what should I start doing or should I runaway from house |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by lukasmuyiwa(m): 11:20pm On Sep 06, 2016 |
and if he complain unnecessarily does that mean he hates me?? abi whot do u think |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by Beremx(f): 11:39pm On Sep 06, 2016 |
stop keeping bad friends if you have any. stay focused and start doing things to please your dad. you're lucky he still loves you after your mother's death. not all in your shoes have the privilege. |
| Re: Guys Please Advice Me..before It's Too Late by Nyceguy92: 12:33am On Sep 07, 2016 |
OP, what is it your eldest sister does that made your day wish she were a man? If you know it, that's your key. When your dad says "You are not serious," it could mean you are a bit lousy and do not show attitudes that protect, generate and/or increase his wealth. Fathers see their wealth as the automatic inheritance of their children, but they are not happy if the children are bent on lavishing it. What do mean by "because of my exposure?" You call yourself a bad guy and you dad accused you of squandering his money. Did you lay your hands on his money without permission? Although your father's wealth belongs to all of you, the inheritance may not be equal, depending on what his Will says. You need to play the role of Captain in the family, get close or closer to you dad and understudy the business that made him rich... Unless you have a lucrative job or business of your own, you should be able to manage your father's business should he "quit" tomorrow. |
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