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Hilarious recession MEMO By A Dad. by ijeshaboy: 7:27am On Sep 08, 2016 |
[left][/left][sub][/sub]INTERNAL HOME MEMO FROM: FATHER TO: ALL DEPENDANTS & RELATIVES CC: MOTHER DATE: September 05, 2016 SUBJECT: FINANCIAL MELTDOWN/COST CUTTING MEASURES FOR YOUR URGENT ATTENTION Due to the current economic situation, all domestic rules and regulations Have been revised as below and under no* *circumstance is any violation going *to be accepted*. 1. The Kitchen and all pantries are declared Restricted Zones. Entry and/or passage shall require express permission from *myself upon submission of written request*. 2. Breakfast is banned. This matter cannot be *discussed*! 3. Such food items as *rice, chicken, butter, jam, eggs, bread and milk* are Restricted. Anyone intending to eat any of such foodstuffs must write to *me in triplicate*, with three days notice, giving justification backed by a *qualified dietician* report as supportive documentation. 4. Bathing in the morning is limited to *5 litres* of water per person while bathing in the evening is banned unless there are *medical reasons*. 5. All security lights should be removed with immediate effect. *All dependants shall abide by an all-night guard-duty roster* I shall make available shortly. 6. No dependant shall entertain friends indoors, far less attempt to offer food, drinks or even music. *Those who want their guests to listen to music shall sing for them.* 7. No one is allowed to talk to officials from police, Council or Court Bailiffs; doing so shall carry an instantaneous penalty of ejection from the House. 8. Anybody who breaks a glass, furniture or any other property in The House, shall immediately have to seek *temporary employment* somewhere to earn money to replace such broken item(s). 9. All *visitors* intending to spend a *night/week or more* shall apply in triplicate and give *two months notice*, with an endorsement from their *village Head or Church Priest*, giving convincing reasons why they can't stay at their *homes*. Failure to do this shall result in their being turned away, at the gate, upon arrival. THESE RULES ARE BINDING AND NOT SUBJECT TO ANY DISCUSSION WHATSOEVER!!! Signed: DAD Chairman of Home Affairs 1 Like 1 Share |
Re: Hilarious recession MEMO By A Dad. by Wizzyblack3(m): 7:29am On Sep 08, 2016 |
K |
Re: Hilarious recession MEMO By A Dad. by Smallb0b0(f): 7:43am On Sep 08, 2016 |
Really funny |
Re: Hilarious recession MEMO By A Dad. by westlee(m): 7:47am On Sep 08, 2016 |
this dad ehn, e get as he be
lol |
Re: Hilarious recession MEMO By A Dad. by Julietcutie(f): 9:04am On Sep 08, 2016 |
Re: Hilarious recession MEMO By A Dad. by ardeypearlz(f): 9:53am On Sep 08, 2016 |
Lmao |
Re: Hilarious recession MEMO By A Dad. by Beamborla(f): 9:55am On Sep 08, 2016 |
Re: Hilarious recession MEMO By A Dad. by Noloss(f): 4:12pm On Sep 08, 2016 |
Lol entertaining visitors by singing for them. Has it really gone so bad? |
Re: Hilarious recession MEMO By A Dad. by mumumugu(m): 6:52am On Sep 09, 2016 |
na buhari write am? |
(1) (Reply)
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