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How To Get Rich In Sixty Days - Politics - Nairaland

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How To Get Rich In Sixty Days by fikfaknuel(f): 7:54pm On Oct 07, 2016
This is NOT a hoax. Nigeria is undoubtedly going through myriad issues and recession is well--you know the rest.

The truth is, Nigeria remains the best country to make money. Quick and easy. And i'm here today to teach you how to.

This method of making money has been tested and trusted over the years. This is a sure way to make money so let us quickly get into it.

Things you need to start
A cheap suit
A cheap pair of shoe
Some family members
Little bit of English
Good stories
A little space
most importantly--basic knowledge of the Bible


No matter how Nigerians are being fed with lies by the government. No matter how the price of rice changes. No matter how holier Maheeda becomes, there is one thing Nigerians would always buy; a man or woman in cheap suit, armed with the Bible, and tells 'authentic' stories with falsified evidence, and you'll be rich.

However, the perks of this is you have to know the Bible. Not all, but the part where God tells Abraham to sacrifice his only son or the story of the widow who put all she had as an offering to God.

You have to speak English, basically, and shout into an already loud microphone whilst wiping off your sweat with a white handkerchief.

Have I taught you how your audience is formed? You have to indulge your family members, and together you start a crusade in your parlour. You have to cry and plead for mankind not to be destroyed by fire. You have to shout in the compound that DAB is a devilish dance.

If you want to make money proper, move into markets--and tell them about your house/church. Have your sister tell them how she was saved from marine demons that possesed her life. Have your brother tell them how a snake always danced alingo in his tummy until he met you. Look into their eyes and proclaim that irrespective of the economy, it shall be well.

But, never leave without evidence. Make a passerby 'crippled' beggar you have conspired with to suddenly walk.

Tell them to come to your house/church and they will, hoping for a miracle.

When they come, display your knowledge of the Bible, speak in unknown and probably inexistent languages, tell them of prosperity and how The Guy above will grant it unto them. Have them empty their purse and wallets, and send them away telling them it is their time to shine. Give them sachet water to give to their friends and family. Tell them to drink also.

When they come later to talk about how no miracle happened, quote a portion of the Bible. Tell them how the ways of The Guy above are not the ways of man.

Tell them to sow more in faith. Run away from the house and open a ministry far away. Do the same, but don't run again. Pay desperate people that are good actors. Tell them to act as deaf, dumb, blind, criippled, impotent, Buharised. And right in front of your congregation, speak those inexistent languages, touch their heads, and tell your congregation that your Big Guy does miracles.

Have them pay offering and when nothing like a miracle happens, remind them that the Big Guy is a mystery but He never changes.
Re: How To Get Rich In Sixty Days by InformedLola(f): 7:56pm On Oct 07, 2016
Lol
Re: How To Get Rich In Sixty Days by yorhmienerd(m): 8:26pm On Oct 07, 2016
fikfaknuel This isn't funny at all. Are you an atheist?
Re: How To Get Rich In Sixty Days by fikfaknuel(f): 8:57pm On Oct 07, 2016
yorhmienerd:
fikfaknuel This isn't funny at all. Are you an atheist?
No. I believe in God.

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