If you can understand and catch the fun in this joke, you must be a smart person.

THIS IS WHAT A GUY WROTE TO A SYSTEM ANALYST:

Dear Systems Department,
I am desperate for some help! I recently upgraded my program from "Girlfriend 7.0" to "Wifey 1.0" and found that the new program began unexpected Child Processing and also took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

This wasn't mentioned in the product brochure.

In addition "Wifey 1.0" Installs itself into all other programs and launches during systems initialisation and then it monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as "Boys' Night out 2.5" and "Clubbing 5.3" no longer runs, and crashes the system whenever selected. Attempting to operate Selected "Saturday Liquor 6.3" always fails and "Saturday Shopping 7.1" runs instead.

I cannot seem to keep "Wifey 1.0" in the background, whilst attempting to run any of my favourite applications. Be it online or offline.

I am thinking of going back to "Girlfriend 7.0" but uninstall doesn't work on this program. Can you please help?

........... AND THIS IS WHAT THE ANALYST SAID;

Dear Customer,
This is a very common problem resulting from a basic misunderstanding of the functions of the "Wifey 1.0" program.

Many customers upgrade from "Girlfriend 7.0" to "Wifey 1.0" thinking that "Wifey 1.0" is merely a UTILITY AND ENTERTAINMENT PROGRAM.

Actually, "Wifey 1.0" is an OPERATING SYSTEM designed by its Creator to Run everything.

You are unlikely to be able to purge "Wifey 1.0" and still convert back to "Girlfriend 7.0", as "Wifey 1.0" was not designed to do this and it is impossible to uninstall, delete or purge the program files from the System once it is installed.

Some people have tried to install "Girlfriend 8.0" or "Wifey 2.0" but have ended up with even more problems.
(See manual under Alimony/Child Support and Solicitors' Fees).

Having " Wifey 1.0" installed, I recommend you keep it installed And deal with the difficulties as best as you can. When any faults or problems Occur, whatever you think has caused them, you must run the
C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME Program
and avoid attempting to use the *Esc-Key for it will freeze the entire system.

It may be necessary to run C:\APOLOGIZE\FORGIVE ME for a number of times, and eventually hope that the operating system will return to normal.

"Wifey 1.0", although a very high maintenance program, can be very rewarding.

To get the most out of it, consider buying additional Software such as "Flowers 2.0" and "Chocolates 5.0" or "HUGS\KISSES 600.0" or "TENDERNESS \UNDERSTANDING 1000.0", or even "Eating Out Without the Kids 7.2.1" (if child processing has already started)..

DO NOT under any circumstances install "Secretary 2.1" (Short Skirt Version) or "One Nightstand 3.2" (Any Mood Version), as this is not a supported Application for "Wifey 1.0" and the system will almost certainly CRASH.

BEST OF LUCK!

Your Systems Analyst.



Just like after installing Windows 10, I discovered lots of changes and disparity with my previous Windows 7. I lost a host of features I cherished so much and at the same time, saw great changes. Before you run the Wifey operating system, be sure you are really ready to put up with the changes!! Congratulations to everyone who installed or presently installing Wifey 1.0 or Hubby 1.0 today! May your program never crash or get corrupted!

Always make like a mini skirt - long enough to cover the vital parts and short enough to keep it interesting.