Here, dark was the only light. Nothing but emptiness, all hope had long disappeared. They told me it couldn't rain forever, but clearly, they was wrong. How am I supposed to take another breath without you? It's been a year and I'm so alone. It's always so dark wherever I am and the rain just doesn't stop anymore. Every step is a battle, every breath is a lung full I wish I would miss. The plates... They don't get washed anymore. I don't eat. I don't sleep. I don't live. The photos represent a boy, the mirror, it only shows a shell. It shows eyes are like seashells; just empty hollows to represent what once was.

I'm not alive. Perhaps I once was, but not anymore. When you left so did I. Everything's so dull... So empty. When did the house get so big? The hallways are like roads, the rooms are a maze, the stairs became a mountain. Piles of letters block the front door, I dare to open any? What if they're not for me? What if they're eviction warnings? If I don't check I won't know. It would be pointless to leave, people wouldn't see me, no one has knocked for months, even the dog left me. I wish I could look for him but you know I can't leave. I know you would be ashamed of me, I'm trying, I swear I'm trying! Why did you leave me? You could have stayed! You should have stayed! I need you... I can't be without you anymore...

I've thought about it so many times but never been able to. It's in the closet waiting for me, all I have to do is go in... It won't take long. They keep telling me to do it, they follow me around the house, why won't they leave me alone? I just want to be alone. I want to be with you. Would you be annoyed at me? If I left here to be with you? I guess we'll find out tonight. For this is the last time I'll be alone, this is the last time I'll struggle. I stared at the photos, wiping the dust from their shattered frames. As I kissed your lips one final time I was brought back to that day, the last time I felt someone else's love. I realized it was time for me to let go.

The last feeling of intimacy was that of the rope as it hugged my neck. It seemed in these final moments the rain outside began to stop. This was my final calling, my last goodbye.



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