US ELECTIONS DAY 2016: THE NIGERIAN REMIX:

•Election materials yet to arrive Michigan.

•36 thugs arrested in North Carolina with sophisticated arms and charms.

•Resident Electoral Commissioner for Ohio kidnapped.

•Election ongoing in Oklahoma but no Result Sheets. Republican party agents protest.

•Democratic Party agent stabbed to death in Philadelphia.

•Strange candidate's name appear on the ballot for the elections in Nevada.

•Voters still waiting for electoral materials in California.

•INEC Chairman toured some Polling units in Washington DC and assured voters of a free and fair elections.

•Gun shots bamboozled the airwaves in Iowa as people fled for their lives.

•Republican governor of Texas accuses the ruling Democrats of trying to rig the election.

•Trump advises supporters in New Mexico to roast any rigger.

•New York Democratic Senator house set on fire in Manhattan.

•Voters in Atlanta, Georgia took to their heels as strange bees stung more than 300 people waiting on the queue to vote.

•PA to Democratic Party VP candidate, Tim Kaine, arrested with 7 Pump Action rifles and $200,000 crisp bills.

•Card Readers not working in Arizona, Kansas and South Carolina.

•Ad Hoc staff in Illinois say "no pay, no vote."

•Fake result sheets discovered in Montana.

•Police and army aiding vote manipulation and intimidation of voters in Arkansas.

•Election is not taking place anywhere in Massachussets. Dusk to dawn curfew have been declared!

•Both Republican Party and Democrats supporters singing victory songs in Virginia. Declare free boozing.

•Election concluded even before it started in New Hampshire.

•4 Republican party leaders prevented from entering Kentucky.

•Militants say election would not take place in Indiana.

•TuFace Idibia's name found on the voters register in Mississippi.

•Voters return back home in Oregon as accreditation is yet to commence at 2PM

Nigeria, We Hail Thee!

hahaha,so true