Richy4:
[b]You were looking for a gunshot wound where there was none.....Did you come into his world, and boom!! you wanna be on the driver's seat?....Directing him on whom he should or should not talk to...Need I remind you that there was no ring on it yet......

And people were commenting as if who ever reported first wins...when did it become a no no to have an opposite sex friends.....You highlighted all those amazing qualities he has, Why were you a bit insecure....I thought that relationship is about trust...until you have an evidence to think otherwise....Based on your perspective, Is this enough to think otherwise?

Don't you think this could be a harmless relationship where a young man helps a married lady and since she was ok helps in monetary terms to show gratitude... I know how married women struggle to catch up in my uni days...Besides, What if the woman was trying to have her friend's back by making sure no spoilt brat traps him and toil with his emotions since she can sense his innocence....

What would you gain if you destroy the only friendship that mattered to him...are you gonna cage him since you feel he is easily influenced..as for the dream, are you gonna say all your dreams always come true..Why that particular dream.....Don't you think some dreams are figment of the imagination.[/b]..

elevatedbeing:

My fear is My dreams. They don't lie. I it hadn't been d dream, would not have been here posting this

tearoses:
Am I missing something here?

If I were your bf I will be disappointed that you don't even trust me
especially after all the good things you have said about him, are you implying that he has no sense?
If he is morally upright as you say, Why would he be sleeping with a pregnant mother of 4?
Can you give him some credit please?

Let me make it clear now that both of you will meet and have many relationships with the opposite sex in the course of your marriage. Trust and integrity are the keywords here.
If those are lacking then there really is no point going forward.
My husband is a choir leader, so that should give you an idea of how often he comes in contact with women in just that one area of his life. Will I go and die? I playfully call them my wives. They even have numbers sef. Its about trust and integrity.

Every friendship has a start and end date You are only trying to prematurely break up the friendship that would have most probably moved on in a few months time anyway. 20 kids cannot play for 20 years.

You also seem to be blaming the woman like she is the devil here, when infact all she has done is to help your bf financially and with accommodation when he needed it and been a friend to him.

Your bf is the one who owes it to you to draw lines. You have no biz with her.
Its like the woman's husband having a go at your bf instead of his wife. Do you get me?

Meanwhile What obstacles are you clearing? will you continue to take it upon yourself to clear obstacles for the length of the marriage?
how to you even intend to achieve that?
You are painting the man like he has no brain and doesn't know left from right and needs someone to hold his hand and teach him simple ABC
I will be insulted if I were the man

Please be mature about this.
You bf has a right to have a female friend especially the ones he met before you, and the ones who are/have helped him.
You have a right to have male friends too.
rather than fight and tell him to choose, what you need to do is to fill in the gap so that his need for you surpasses his need for any other person
position yourself correctly and you will be more than a million friends to him

sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear

elevatedbeing:

Ma, that my bf should draw the lines is all I crave for..but the issue of my dream is another. I don't discard my revelations..he's got a lot I admire but lacks discipline when it comes to emotions.how do I handle the woman that was talking me down before him!...I see her as a threat cos bf model his specs after her..if he's not admiring sth she does today, its one of thing she did for him tomorrow...he's even studying a female dominated course so ladies flock around him. I don't have issues with that! Where I have issues is with the significance of my dream that came to reality and the lady's suspicious attitude towards me. How do I handle all of these?

elevatedbeing:

U sound pissed..well, its true that we all can be starring at an object and see it in different form. My fear is My dreams. They don't lie. I it hadn't been d dream, would not have been here posting this..thanks all d same. I'll consider ur advice

Richy4:



I am not pissed but your insecurity has piled up to the highest heaven.....I couldn't just ignore it like others....

Your boyfriend is an adult.....U need not run his life for him at this stage especially when you were a girl friend...Assuming you were the wife, I would not have said a word....

You were only mad because they share more emotional gossips and you are not involved with the chit-chat...please live them alone... There was no place in the bible that says a man must not have a platonic relationship with the opposite sex...and I believe your resentment started when your boyfriend ran his mouth by telling you what she said about you... No girl will live that lying low

You can always do what other girls does by asking he choose between you and her....If you succeed in breaking them up, I hope you will take over the financial assistance, and other matured advises she gives to him.....Good luck

Jahblessme:
Very hard for me to believe sex hasn't occurred.Red flags- the woman is his spec 2. She's in a bad marriage 3.Bf endless praise singing of her attributes 4 All the time spent in her house-training overnights and weekends 5. Personality changes in bf when he's with her 6. The woman basically dictating tone of your relationship .

This has gone way past emotional attachment ,blame your bf not the lady.Hes the one who should be drawing lines not her.You said whenever he's with her he assumes a new boldness,ask yourself why.

If your instincts are flashing red lights at you,there really is something wrong.Trust your instincts except you are naturally foolish.
I don't see this ending well thoughts the way the stumbling block is your bf not the lady,hes the one swallowing gifts and accepting like a starved fish.Fovus your attention on him.He will still meet tons of women will you keep having revelation and High bp daily?
Help yasef ma.

Good luck

elevatedbeing:

He dint even disclose anything on what she might v said about me. She gave an attitude at the background one night when I called- that was even the pointer to d dream I had. If I may ask u, y on earth wud my BF engage in emotional chit chat with some other woman? All cos of fin assistance What is this world turning to. Its fine when I was not in d pix.now that am in d pix, its just so wrong to do..
U seem not to find anyfault in this BF of mine. To you every abt him is on point. Whatever happened to moral standard way of living?? Thanks all the same!

demelza:
He is not your husband yet and you are this riled up.
You want to be his one and only.
It seems the brother is your only hope in this life.
And what is all this dream you've been shouting upandan?
Don't you know the devil also gives dreams?
If you are already having HBP just in this dating stage, I wonder how it will be if you get married.
If you push him to choose between her or you, he could end up choosing you and resent you for it later. Respect the history they have.
I believe you are even looking for someone who will tell you to go confront her. Thank God no one has but if you feel the need to, do so and watch it backfire massively.
You are the only one who thinks their friendship is such a big deal.
Girl deal with your insecurity and jealousy, its a massive turnoff.
Jeez!

elevatedbeing:

He dint even disclose anything on what she might v said about me. She gave an attitude at the background one night when I called- that was even the pointer to d dream I had. If I may ask u, y on earth wud my BF engage in emotional chit chat with some other woman? All cos of fin assistance What is this world turning to. Its fine when I was not in d pix.now that am in d pix, its just so wrong to do..
U seem not to find anyfault in this BF of mine. To you every abt him is on point. Whatever happened to moral standard way of living?? Thanks all the same!

elevatedbeing:
Hi all, now, lemme drop a bombshell:
BF had a dream two days back and in d dream, he wanted to buy stuffs from an elderly man, the man did not have what he wanted, he moved to the next man, the man had what he wanted and money was collected from him but the item was not given. The elderly man then commanded that he kneels down. He did as commanded and in no time other people gathered round him and wanted to judge his actions..someone in d crowd then asked that they need to recognize someone's presence, the person that stood up to be recognized was me and then I sat back... When he relayed the dream, I told him we wud need to ask the H/S for interpretation.. In my closet i got the meaning that he had offended me and that some people were ready to avenge for me.. This dream is really scarring BF and he had since been asking for forgiveness..I did not front o as per d whole dream ish but am just pretty confident that whatsoever he has been doing in secret with this woman, whether before we met or now,( cos I had been waiting on the lord concerning the issue) the H/S wud expose them.
I feel BF is scared more than ever, he's close to confession but feels scared to do that to me. he's been avoiding the woman, this morning, we got talking on phone and he just told me that the woman had asked him last weekend that he wud be spending this whole week with her cos of the exams (BF took leave for exams) and that he hadn't even seen her this week. He was saying it regretfully o...and I was like what does this woman even want from u and he said 'I don't know o". And I said a prayer that God will give us total victory over her and he replied Amen...

elevatedbeing:

My instincts don't lie. Aint foolish. Lots of red-light flashes here and there. My dream is just so on point. plus when she dictated the tone of the friendship. Bf would go to her place and wouldn't leave on time only for him to return and say "sister talks a lot" thanks, I'll consider ur tots.

thorpido:
You know even though some people here feel you are insecured and people can have close friends of the opposite sex,my opinion has been that the relationship your boyfriend has with this woman is not 'normal'.He needs to break from her.
It's a good thing you're involving God and as long as your heart is right,He'll bring all things to light.
It's just a matter of time.

elevatedbeing:

Well said my brother. Glad u're one those that understand that any other rel that's more intimate than the one u v with ur patner is called "emotional cheating" don't mind those that said otherwise...thanks

elevatedbeing:

What are u saying Acidosis? What's not possible on this earth? We talking about a lady whom he's been close with and lived under the same roof for close to 6months(. Prolly before the pregnancy)..the hubby hardly comes home.hubby is in a scandal of impregnating another woman too. Where do u think she'll get her solace from other than the man she sees everyday for 6months? BF has a job now and is not depended on her but back then he wasn't working so he might v depended. Now, This woman only entices with the gifts and company (miss u stuffs) Nothing is impossible under the sun ke.
The ish is actually on emotional cheating.they've gotten deep into sharing deep stuffs but I still keep wondering how a woman would be relaying her marital life with a guy and would not be emotional about it.women burst into tears easily and BF could v just "pacified" her someway.

DoTheNeedful:
I fear your kind of lady o,madam elevatedbeing. You appear too obsessed about this guy who is just a bf for now. You need to work on your esteem and emotions too. You appear as someone that can do something funny if this guy tells you that he is no longer interested in your relationship.
Partners should not be stifled and given close-marking in relationships.If you try to micro-manage a partner in a relationship,it is likely to backfire. Besides,I don't feel the guy is cheating.

elevatedbeing:

What makes u think he's not cheating? Huh?

OldBeer:
And cant you see most of the people you invited to comment avoided your thread cos they saw a thread made by a dead-brain dreamer girl who only finds her worth in a man.
Even the "bombshell" you dropped confirmed your dead-brain status.
Take this dead thread off so we can see real people with real problems.

elevatedbeing:
Thank u.got no time for bickering