GRRRRRRRRRH (Phone ring from Otta-Los Angele’s)

OBJ: Hello! Hello! Hello!

IBB: Who is that! Do you what the time is?

OBJ: Hello UMORU! Are you dead?

IBB: Who is this fool and who is UMORU?

OBJ: Hello Umoru this is your godfather from Otta farm.

IBB: Oh, it is you, why are you calling me Umoru

OBJ: Oh dear! Prince of Niger, I did not realise it was you, I thought…

IBB: You thought it Yar Adua, what makes you think that?

OBJ: You know, anytime I hear rumours of important death, I just thought its Umoru

IBB: His name is Umaru and not Umoru please.

MARYAM: Big boy! Who is that on the phone?

IBB: My sweet Tuwo, please go back to sleep, nobody important, just that ungrateful monkey man from Otta.

MARYAM: What! What does he want?

IBB: He said he heard the rumour of your death and thought it was Shehu’s brother Umaru.

MARYAM: I cannot believe they wanted me death! Those bloody Nigerians despite all the better life I gave to them.

IBB: By the way, how did you get our number in Los Angeles?

OBJ: I got it from those nosey idiots that call themselves Sahara Reporters.

IBB: And they agreed to talk to you? I thought they hated you more than cow pooh-pooh?

OBJ: No, I used someone, a journalist who agreed to help for a fee.

IBB: How much did you know this journalist? In addition how did you pay, cash or cheque?

OBJ: I paid by cheque, so that if he fails I can sue him with the evidence.

IBB: Oh my God! You bloody fool! How can you pay by cheque when EFCC can trace it or they can easily see where you starch your cash?

OBJ: Do not worry, the cheque is Oluwole and the journalist is not Igbo smart a** who would have cashed the cheque first before anything.

MARYAM: So that monkey can talk to us now he is out power. Idiot!

OBJ: Is that your darling wife I hearing from the background

(Maryam grab the fone)

MARYAM: Yes it me, you got the nerve talking to us, you ungrateful buffoon, despite us installing you into the Aso Rock, how did you pay us back?

OBJ: Me ungrateful? Even when I refuse to probe your past and kept asking everybody to provide the evidence.

MARYAM: Yes but through the back door, you were bribing Vatsa’s family to chase us with bad publicity.


IBB: Yes, Maryam was right, we knew, you were behind it. Even some of your ministers told us so with evidence

OBJ: I even instructed Ribadu to turn blind eyes, you should be grateful.

IBB: Yeah, what about all those Ribadu bad press about us?

OBJ: Yes, it was deliberate, just to divert attention.


MARYAM: And thanks to Ribadu’s big mouth, we can’t go to many countries any more because of all these amnesty group, ready to pounce on us.

OBJ: But I saw the recent picture of your visit to Monaco recently that must count.

MARYAM: Yes, Monaco, a place where anybody who is any good in stealing is welcome in Monaco as long as you have the cash. We want to go to Paris proper and I miss shopping in Harrods London.

IBB: And I miss London banks too.

OBJ: I hope you get better soon Madam

MARYAM: Keep your good wishes for yourself, bloody man; unlike your wife that came back in a box, I am coming back with 10 suitcases full of clothes.

OBJ: Good for you, at least you can go to American as free as the spirit of Dele Giwa.

IBB: Was that meant to be funny?

MARYAM: Well he is not hilarious, what good coming to America, when we can’t go out because all these so called DIASPORAS are waiting outside all the time with placards, ready to abuse us.

OBJ: At least it was a placard; they threw raw eggs on me when I was in London. In addition, those awful MASSOB people in London abusing me anywhere I showed my face.

IBB: Well, nobody knows tomorrow, once upon a time we used call all the shorts, but look at us now hiding away here.

MARYAM: We cannot even visit the Aso Rock we built

IBB: We did not quite build it; it was build from the oil money.

MARYAM: Shut up man! What is the different between our money and govt money, it is all ours. If you had listened to me never to step aside for that useless Shonekan.

OBJ: Well, it sound like you two had something to sort out and I do not want to come between you too.  Do you want me to pass any message to UMORU?

IBB: Umaru! It is Umaru!

OBJ: Yes of course, so any message for Umaru then?

MARYAM: Tell him to drop dead. Moreover, tell that his ugly wife that I am the only recognised and number one first lady, she is just a pretender.

THE PHONE WENT DEAD

Conversation from two Most Notorious Nigeria Thieves, One representing Yoruba in the name Of Obasanjo and the other Babangi representing Hausa/Fulani North.
(Yoruba Thieves + Hausa Fulani Thieves)= Greatest Thieves

Umoru! are you dead?
hilarious

WilyWily:

Conversation from two Most Notorious Nigeria Thieves, One representing Yoruba in the name Of Obasanjo and the other Babangi representing Hausa/Fulani North.
(Yoruba Thieves + Hausa Fulani Thieves)= Greatest Thieves

Damn right, but you forget their willling Igbo/south south collaborator that kept telling them, that Igbos love one Nigeria.

@Eziachi

a clever satire! You should find a part-time job as a comic playwright, lol

hehehehehehehe

Eziachi:

Umoru! are you dead?
hilarious

You laugh at your own jokes? Jeez what a retard.

Tippy Top:

You laugh at your own jokes? Jeez what a retard.

lmfao. . . you should get an award for that Ezi. Nice humor

lol. nice

Tippy Top:

You laugh at your own jokes? Jeez what a retard.

If you can't laugh at your own jokes, what is the point.
Calling me retard is also very funny, especially the kind of day I had TODAY, fixing four broken bones and operating on a gun shot young person.

And the gun shot victim, a young Nigeria extract reminds me of your attitude from your post- a smart ass with no respect for anybody including their parents, going about the streets of London shooting everybody and getting themselves shot in return.

I just wrote this joke just to unwind. If you don't like it, my apologies.