[center]A GAME GONE TOO FAR
...The Seduction Of A Lagos Housewife!
Script and Adaptation: Kingsley UGO Okenwa
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“Ronke Shonde was cheating on her husband; or didn’t you read in the newspapers that her former boss confirmed to the Police that she and her alleged lover were former colleagues and left his company in a month’s interval?” a male passenger, who was in suit said, as he turned to a woman on the back seat and then, raised his voice as he continued, “So, if nothing was going on, why did they leave that company, almost at the same time, and why did they later link up in Abuja? I’m sad that she died but she was definitely cheating on her husband.”

“Ehen, even if she was cheating nko, was that why Lekan beat her up and then, killed her? Oga see, can Lekan swear with his life that he did not, not once but on multiple-times, cheated on Ronke?” the female passenger fired back and went on as she stammered with an emotion-clad voice, “Even… Even… Even if he had his evidences, why didn’t he approach his in-laws or confront her lover than to callously waste her life? God will punish that man – he no go die better! It is men, like him, that ought to be thrown into Lions’ den. Yeye man!”

“Cheating or not, no man has the right to hit or beat any woman, let alone take her life. Though women cheat just as much as men do, men cover their tracks better. Men actually cheat more!” an elderly bespectacled female passenger chipped in with a cool tone.

Abi o… Men are the worst culprit in this cheating game – they will chop and clean their mouths as if they didn’t do anything.” Another younger female passenger carried on, “It is just that we, women, are easy to fool. I am yet to see a man who won’t cheat on his wife when given that chance. All men are the same!”

The conductor, who was alternating between listening to the conversation and ‘shadowing’ for passengers, tucked his head into the bus and cut in, “If men dey cheat or pursue women, no be women dem cause am? Na so-so short and tight dresses una dey wear. All una body go come show and point out yakata. No be food wey you give dog, dog go pursue chop?”

All the passengers burst into laughter!

“Please Lagosians, a point of correction here: it is not all men that cheat on their women. There are some men who are different. Yes, men who are the real men.” Another male passenger, who had earlier conducted a ‘bus evangelism’, challenged the other woman, as he continued, “By the grace of God, I am a Pastor and since I married my wife I have never…”

“Abeg, make we hear word joor. Na Pastors own worse pass sef! You have never done wetin? I dey follow you waka go everywhere?” A third female passenger, at the last seat, angrily retorted – from her look, it was obvious she’s a trader as she reeked of the acrid scent of onions – and chided him, “All of una na the same thing except the one wey no get that ‘thing’ between his two legs. No be one yeye Pastor for my area RAPE one small five-year-old girl with the pretence say he wan do deliverance on her. Men who are the real men koh; Men who are the real men nii. Mscheew.”

He was very peeved and raised his eyebrows but before he could react, the bus went up into an uproar as everyone started talking at the top of their voices and wanted to be heard at the same time – they tried to outwit themselves on whose point was more convincing or authoritative.

The ‘danfo’ bus was like a warzone; a war between the male and females folks or as you might put it – the battle of the sexes.

I don’t know how the conversation began because I boarded the bus mid-way into the journey but all the while they pondered on the Late Ronke Shonde’s predicament and painful exit while correlating with other men and women’s, I was unresponsive because I had my own marital problem – a problem that had been tearing my home and life apart for long, to kill me like Ronke’s!

Shortly, I bent my head and started daydreaming of my once-upon-a-time happy marriage. My home used to be the ‘cynosure of all eyes’. My marriage was near perfect, so I thought by then. People looked up to my husband and I as the ideal couples. My home was an el-Dorado.

Many people moulded their homes and marriages like ours – we were the talk of the town; the perfect example but here I was, in a bus, lamenting the sad turn of fortune of my home. Tears started trickling down my cheeks. I quickly brought out my handkerchief from my handbag and dried my eyes with lest other passengers see them and start wondering what had suddenly gotten over me.

Hard as I tried not to, my mindset randomly took a repulsive flashback to the humiliation I suffered in the hands of my husband and mother-in-law about twenty minutes ago – a humiliation that I well deserved if I were not miserly with the truth.

A tear trickled down as I looked outside the window and tried to take my mind away from my problem. Even as the passengers were still arguing though one or two had drawn back from the conversation, I began ruminating on the issue: “Who cheats more – man or woman?”
Really, the media are abound with cases of marital disputes and separations – celebrities or not – but if you take a telescopic look into the cause of these problems, it has a lot to do with ‘the other man or the other woman – a third person in the relationship’!

Yes, so much sacrifices and tolerance go into keeping a relationship going but when things begin to fall apart, sometimes one or both parties look to other persons to satisfy their needs.

Whether the reason for cheating is convincing – boredom or temptation – many couples have to battle with the reality of cheating, but which party is more often the victim and which is the perpetrator – who cheats more, men or women?

I once read in an online platform wherein a man said, “For sure it is men who are more likely to be unfaithful. The Nigerian culture and mentality support men and their promiscuity. Men are guiltier than women when it comes to having affairs, especially if you take into consideration their constant bragging about their sexual escapades. Women tend to be more loyal sexually than men.”

But a female marriage counsellor strangely thought otherwise as she expounded, “Some people may want to deny this; however, I personally believe that women cheat more. They are just better at hiding it. Men find it harder to detect when a woman cheats as she is more discreet about it. We are always one step ahead of them, especially when it comes to having our girlfriends on our side to back up our cover story. Women don’t get caught in the act as much as men do. Women are craftier and sneakier when it comes to these things. If a woman does her thing right, the man wouldn’t even have a clue! We are more secretive and experts at keeping secrets. Up until now I don’t know some things about my girlfriend and I know she will never tell me. I have learnt to live with that. Just like how I would learn to live with cheating. What I don’t know won’t kill me.”

As for me, I would say both – yes, man and woman cheat. Cheating is not a man or woman thing, it is just who gets caught in the end.

Just the way I cheated with naivety and my husband caught me red-handed – here I was, wishing I didn’t. This is my story! To be continued...
While we await the continuation, I welcome readers’ comments on ‘Who really cheat more – male or female?’

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