I am not a good writer when in an emotional state but I had to bring this here for some reasons I can't explain.

Sometime in the 1990s, I was sitting with my mother in the palour when a guy entered with JUST bathroom slippers and nylon bag ( the one with stripes), not travelling bag and it didn't have much inside it. That was all he had with him and came with from Benin to Lagos.

He introduced himself as a son to my mum's brother (extended family from my grandmother's) and my mum in her usual manner, embraced him. She told someone to get him water to bath and food to eat. This was around 8-9PM

After he then told my mum that his father asked him to leave his house and that he needed help. That was how he came to stay with us. He ate what we ate and my mum fixed him up somewhere to get money. He assisted my mum in some running around. We were to little then to do anything for her but we could see what was going on. Before his arrival we were over 10 living together in the house and just 4 of us were of my mum but others were relatives.

Some years later, there was quarrel that he duped my mum and the father came to Lagos and settled the issue. it wasn't long after that dupe issue that he left Nigeria. A few years later, he claimed to send money to my mum and put it INSIDE picture that was in an envelop. Where was that ever done. This caused another round of problem again as it now appeared like my mum took the money and refused to give it to his father.

WELL, we moved on and things became rough for my mum that she had to leave us behind to go and look for something to do. She still had some money left and I dropped out of school while my mates were moving. This explained why I finished tertiary education later than expected. At this stage, we had grown a little.

This guy came into the country 3 times when it was rough for us and my mum wasn't around. He told my elder brother to meet him at certain location and date. When my brother would go with his friend, they would tell him that the dude checked out the previous day. He did this 3 solid times to my brother and my brother told me. At this stage, we were apart. I had to stay with an aunt with my younger sister and while my elder brother and sister stayed with friends.

All these times he was buying cars for his father and mother (same people who neglected him) while we were just there.

We struggled... for long.

However, mum had to join her ancestors in 2008 and he was around at this time. I don't know what to call his attitude or "faking" but all he was just saying if I knew, if I knew.

Burial came and went, everyone went their ways. In 2009 or 2010, I had to unfriend him on facebook. Then mid to late of last year, he sent me a friend request, which I accepted after over a week.

We, the 4 of us , had to brace up, and got each other's back. If I have, i share among us and if my sister has, she shares among us. NO HELP from any family member, especially the ones whom my mum sheltered and fed

He chatted me up last year and asked how we were doing and I told him we have been left on our own. To my surprise, he started preaching to me which really angered me but I kept my cool. I wanted to tell him to fork off as if my mother preached to him when he came into our house with just nylon and slippers. I am the most quiet among my siblings but I observe a lot such that when I open my mouth to react to issues, people often get shocked.

He had been sending me messages once awhile and i just respond like nothing special about him. I respond like I would to any person, most times just one one or two words.

So few days ago, I uploaded my picture. Looking very much robust and fresh, my friends were just 'hailing" me from all corners. Within a minutes of doing that, he sent me a message, requesting for my whatsapp number and that of my elder brother.

What does he need our numbers for. For over 20 years, we have never GOTTEN 10K naira from him. HE CAN'T REALLY BOAST OF ONE THING HE did for my mother, let alone her children.

Since last friday that he asked for it, I have not sent it because I see no need of it.

Awwwww..... Life. I can relate with your post Sir. You are no longer a kid and you really need to understand that not everyone you do good to,will repay you likewise try think of someone who has helped you in the past when you didn't even deserve it. Some people find it difficult to remember their past/beginning. It is not their fault. Try as much as possible to cut him off you, don't give him audience because he'll keep annoying you. Try all you can to let it go.
May God gladden your heart

Swissheart:
Awwwww..... Life. I can relate with your post Sir. You are no longer a kid and you really need to understand that not everyone you do good to,will repay you likewise try think of someone who has helped you in the past when you didn't even deserve it. Some people find it difficult to remember their past/beginning. It is not their fault. Try as much as possible to cut him off you, don't give him audience because he'll keep annoying you. Try all you can to let it go.
May God gladden your heart

I am not bothered really as we have grown to live like we do not have relatives. I just told my elder sister minutes ago and she said he did message her too and asking for her whatsapp number.

I don't know what to call this. At least he has facebook if he wishes to communicate with us.

But I thank God for everything so far.

Ignore him my dear.

If you could make it through the past years, u will make it through always.

Sorry about your mum * a tear dropped* she had a heart of gold .

Ud be fine I promise u

Mskrisx:
Ignore him my dear.

If you could make it through the past years, u will make it through always.

Sorry about your mum * a tear dropped* she had a heart of gold .

Ud be fine I promise u

my mum was generous to a fault in all sense of it. That is her GREATEST weak point.

There was another one who left Benin to The North, stayed with us until my mum got a big project and moved to Lagos. He moved with us and my mum fixed him somewhere on the contract. That was where he got money and travelled to the US.

He came back 3 time and on 3rd time he couldn't go back for reasons we never knew of. One day he came in company of another relative who also benefit from my mum, a woman like her, and accused my mum of being the witch behind his inability to go back.

My mum cried that day and asked him, you mean I am the one behind your inability to go back to US, he looked at her and said YES. My elder sister asked him and he said yes. I watched as my elder sister and mum were crying that day.

Though years later he came to beg mum for the wrong accusation. I learned his mum told him he must look her and beg her, according to his mum, my mother is the light in her house and if not, they won't be feeding. For years he was looking for her and did found her. He has since played his role.

A part of me is very much like my mum, the generous type. However, I try to apply wisdom when I am giving.

futurism:
my mum was generous to a fault in all sense of it. That is her GREATEST weak point.

There was another one who left Benin to The North, stayed with us until my mum got a big project and moved to Lagos. He moved with us and my mum fixed him somewhere on the contract. That was where he got money and travelled to the US.

He came back 3 time and on 3rd time he couldn't go back for reasons we never knew of. One day he came in company of another relative who also benefit from my mum, a woman like her, and accused my mum of being the witch behind his inability to go back.

My mum cried that day and asked him, you mean I am the one behind your inability to go back to US, he looked at her and said YES. My elder sister asked him and he said yes. I watched as my elder sister and mum were crying that day.

Though years later he came to beg mum for the wrong accusation. I learned his mum told him he must look her and beg her, according to his mum, my mother is the light in her house and if not, they won't be feeding. For years he was looking for her and did found her. He has since played his role.

A part of me is very much like my mum, the generous type. However, I try to apply wisdom when I am giving.

My dear no be only your mama oo. Its the same selfless act that took my parents to yonder.
Me right now- TIT FOR TAT!

I NO SEND ANYBODY, EVERYBODY DEY YOUR FFKING LANE!

Very crazy world we live in...

I feel your pain bro.

Mskrisx:



My dear no be only your mama oo. Its the same selfless act that took my parents to yonder.
Me right now- TIT FOR TAT!

I NO SEND ANYBODY, EVERYBODY DEY YOUR FFKING LANE!

Very crazy world we live in...

I didn't even mention the emboldened. It was same thing that led to her death.

Don't worry you and your siblings will be celebrated soon!.

Bro, I feel your pain but honestly, you need to man up and quit the pity party!
It does no good. Determine strongly to make it by the Grace of God.
Break the barriers and by faith, possess the gates of your future.

The best thing you can do is to be successful without the help of those people.
Let the death of your mum be a tonic that can also drive you to your full potential.

Above all, pursue God and work hard. I'm sure you will make it.

What did you study in the university and what are you doing at the moment?
Would like to know if I can help.

Regards

Gazilion

gazilion:
Bro, I feel your pain but honestly, you need to man up and quit the pity party!
It does no good. Determine strongly to make it by the Grace of God.
Break the barriers and by faith, possess the gates of your future.

The best thing you can do is to be successful without the help of those people.
Let the death of your mum be a tonic that can also drive you to your full potential.

Above all, pursue God and work hard. I'm sure you will make it.

What did you study in the university and what are you doing at the moment?
Would like to know if I can help.

Regards

Gazilion

Good day sir. Please help me if there is additional space cos i am not the OP that you refer to. I have HND in business administration and management. The shame and humiliation of job lost is killing me

His conscience is killing him, you and your family shouldn't have anything to do with him. The fact that he didn't mean well when your mom was alive, any touch with you guys is invalid. He has absolutely nothing to offer, and I want you and your siblings to ignore him.

You all will achieve beyond expectations, keep the bond among yourselves.

Ignore him like a piece of trash he is, if I were you I won't even have nothing doing with him.

When the mother was alive you didn't keep in touch, now she's dead you suddenly wants contact. Fire finish you. Wizard.

gazilion:
Bro, I feel your pain but honestly, you need to man up and quit the pity party!
It does no good. Determine strongly to make it by the Grace of God.
Break the barriers and by faith, possess the gates of your future.

The best thing you can do is to be successful without the help of those people.
Let the death of your mum be a tonic that can also drive you to your full potential.

Above all, pursue God and work hard. I'm sure you will make it.

What did you study in the university and what are you doing at the moment?
Would like to know if I can help.

Regards

Gazilion

Wow, thanks so much sir. I am okay finance wise I have found strength within me since all these years. I really appreciate your kind thoughts towards me and may God bless you for this kind gesture. You shall never lack and neither shall your children lack. God will fight for your children when and where you can not fight for them and He will provide for them when and where you can not provide. Your enemies will be blind to see you pass by and will be deaf to hear God's blessings for your family.

Ginaz:
His conscience is killing him, you and your family shouldn't have anything to do with him. The fact that he didn't mean well when your mom was alive, any touch with you guys is invalid. He has absolutely nothing to offer, and I want you and your siblings to ignore him.

You all will achieve beyond expectations, keep the bond among yourselves.

Ignore him like a piece of trash he is, if I were you I won't even have nothing doing with him.

When the mother was alive you didn't keep in touch, now she's dead you suddenly wants contact. Fire finish you. Wizard.

He is not the only one. My mother's younger sister was crying when my immediate sister visited her. She was pleading that we shouldn't abandon her only daughter (child) and that if there is any way she wronged us, we should please forgive her and so many things. i was in Benin for years but never went to her house.

This was a woman who left her daughter behind for foreign land. My mother was paying her daughter's school fees when she paid mine and my sisters. She kept doing this before the sister settled over there. One day, they came to carry the daughter.

Several years later, we were staying in her house after leaving Lagos a lot happened that I can't put here and it got to a point, she asked us to leave her house.... and we did. Then she had money while my mum wasn't having like it was before she (her sister) left Nigeria. We moved out and never looked back until my mum died. On the way to bury her own sister, she said she could not go beyond a certain point because of bad road. Every other persons were moving on foot but she refused because she cherished her Benz mother than her sister who stood as their father when their dad died (My mum told us everything).

TODAY, the money she thought she had is gone... and I heard she now sells KEROSENE in front of her house. She did reach out to me on facebook weeks late last year with a new account. She introduced herself and asked how I was doing. I greeted her and told her fine. I also ask how she is doing. She said she is fine. I read it and never responded beyond that.

This one suggested we start selling recharge card for her few months after my mum died but that wasn't the initial plan when she called I and my elder brother.

Regret is eating her. In fact we do not go near ANY of my mother's siblings. NON! She thought we will depend on her after the burial but we found solace elsewhere... You that song by Don Moen? "God will make a way where there seems to be no way"

I am not where I want to be but I am not where I used to be...

futurism:


Wow, thanks so much sir. I am okay finance wise I have found strength within me since all these years. I really appreciate your kind thoughts towards me and may God bless you for this kind gesture. You shall never lack and neither shall your children lack. God will fight for your children when and where you can not fight for them and He will provide for them when and where you can not provide. Your enemies will be blind to see you pass by and will be deaf to hear God's blessings for your family.

Oh dear, Amen to your prayers. Thanks so much, I appreciate.
May God keep you too and help you to walk in wisdom so you may never fall.

futurism:
He is not the only one. My mother's younger sister was crying when my immediate sister visited her. She was pleading that we shouldn't abandon her only daughter (child) and that if there is any way she wronged us, we should please forgive her and so many things. i was in Benin for years but never went to her house.

This was a woman who left her daughter behind for foreign land. My mother was paying her daughter's school fees when she paid mine and my sisters. She kept doing this before the sister settled over there. One day, they came to carry the daughter.

Several years later, we were staying in her house after leaving Lagos a lot happened that I can't put here and it got to a point, she asked us to leave her house.... and we did. Then she had money while my mum wasn't having like it was before she (her sister) left Nigeria. We moved out and never looked back until my mum died. On the way to bury her own sister, she said she could not go beyond a certain point because of bad road. Every other persons were moving on foot but she refused because she cherished her Benz mother than her sister who stood as their father when their dad died (My mum told us everything).

TODAY, the money she thought she had is gone... and I heard she now sells KEROSENE in front of her house. She did reach out to me on facebook weeks late last year with a new account. She introduced herself and asked how I was doing. I greeted her and told her fine. I also ask how she is doing. She said she is fine. I read it and never responded beyond that.

This one suggested we start selling recharge card for her few months after my mum died but that wasn't the initial plan when she called I and my elder brother.

Regret is eating her. In fact we do not go near ANY of my mother's siblings. NON! She thought we will depend on her after the burial but we found solace elsewhere... You that song by Don Moen? "God will make a way where there seems to be no way"

I am not where I want to be but I am not where I used to be...

Your experience has been both sad and uplifting because in the end, you have made something out of your life and this is all that matters. You do not owe any allegiance to this man, your aunt or any other extended family member who turned their backs on you all at your lows. However, you do need to make pace with yourself and not carry any grudges, neither should you ruminate or reminisce on those past experiences.

What you can do (which is actually what I do when dealing with certain people) is to look for a way to appear both friendly and distant at the same time. He wants your number on WhatsApp, let him have it ONLY because he asked. You do not have to chat with him all the time or respond to his messages often, using one-line replies works wonders and unless this man is a complete f00l, he ought to know when someone really doesn't want to chat with him.
I suspect he wants your WhatsApp number just to be able to keep tabs on you, see how robust and fresh you're getting or how sick you start to look (God Forbid). These kind of relatives are what I call MONITORING SPIRITS, every single person here can relate to this. They always want to know what is up with your life NOT because they care but just to frown when all is going well with you and/or feel good when all is not.

I myself have about five (5) extended family members on my blocked list on Facebook, two of them are direct siblings to both of my parents (One uncle from my mom's side, One aunt from my dad's side)... the other three are cousins. AND YES, THEY KNOW I BLOCKED THEM..but fvck them.
It's not like we even had any serious issues, but I truly passionately hate people who think being extremely wealthy grants them the right to have a say just because we share blood. I can't post something on Facebook and one thing will be asking silly questions like "Where are you? What are you doing now? I heard you got promoted, how much do you earn now? So you came to my city and didn't visit me?" .... dang, see jamb questions nah . I blocked the morrafvckers mehn.

Bro, you don't have any problem. Just hold your head up high and keep balling like there's no tomorrow. Any one who wants to be a monitor lizard can quench for all you care.

Cheers...

crackhaus:

Your experience has been both sad and uplifting because in the end, you have made something out of your life and this is all that matters. You do not owe any allegiance to this man, your aunt or any other extended family member who turned their backs on you all at your lows. However, you do need to make pace with yourself and not carry any grudges, neither should you ruminate or reminisce on those past experiences.

What you can do (which is actually what I do when dealing with certain people) is to look for a way to appear both friendly and distant at the same time. He wants your number on WhatsApp, let him have it ONLY because he asked. You do not have to chat with him all the time or respond to his messages often, using one-line replies works wonders and unless this man is a complete f00l, he ought to know when someone really doesn't want to chat with him.
I suspect he wants your WhatsApp number just to be able to keep tabs on you, see how robust and fresh you're getting or how sick you start to look (God Forbid). These kind of relatives are what I call MONITORING SPIRITS, every single person here can relate to this. They always want to know what is up with your life NOT because they care but just to frown when all is going well with you and/or feel good when all is not.

I myself have about five (5) extended family members on my blocked list on Facebook, two of them are direct siblings to both of my parents (One uncle from my mom's side, One aunt from my dad's side)... the other three are cousins. AND YES, THEY KNOW I BLOCKED THEM..but fvck them.
It's not like we even had any serious issues, but I truly passionately hate people who think being extremely wealthy grants them the right to have a say just because we share blood. I can't post something on Facebook and one thing will be asking silly questions like "Where are you? What are you doing now? I heard you got promoted, how much do you earn now? So you came to my city and didn't visit me?" .... dang, see jamb questions nah . I blocked the morrafvckers mehn.

Bro, you don't have any problem. Just hold your head up high and keep balling like there's no tomorrow. Any one who wants to be a monitor lizard can quench for all you care.

Cheers...

What"s wrong with the questions your relatives asked (except if you've had previous issues with them?) though I agree some questions are personal 'Like how much you are earning' but it's the same question I can ask my cousins when I see them physically...

@futurism:

Except you are a sicker for pain, I don't understand why you and your siblings want/consider keeping in touch with family members who never cared about your existence.

Now you seem to be having small change, they are suddenly friendly.

You need to learn about your family history and dynamics... I find it strange that several members of your family would turn their backs on your family.

Like we say... Ti isu eyan ba funfun, a fi owo Bo je.....

If your yam is white, you will hide it in your palms to eat.

God be with you.

crackhaus:

Your experience has been both sad and uplifting because in the end, you have made something out of your life and this is all that matters. You do not owe any allegiance to this man, your aunt or any other extended family member who turned their backs on you all at your lows. However, you do need to make pace with yourself and not carry any grudges, neither should you ruminate or reminisce on those past experiences.

What you can do (which is actually what I do when dealing with certain people) is to look for a way to appear both friendly and distant at the same time. He wants your number on WhatsApp, let him have it ONLY because he asked. You do not have to chat with him all the time or respond to his messages often, using one-line replies works wonders and unless this man is a complete f00l, he ought to know when someone really doesn't want to chat with him.
I suspect he wants your WhatsApp number just to be able to keep tabs on you, see how robust and fresh you're getting or how sick you start to look (God Forbid). These kind of relatives are what I call MONITORING SPIRITS, every single person here can relate to this. They always want to know what is up with your life NOT because they care but just to frown when all is going well with you and/or feel good when all is not.

I myself have about five (5) extended family members on my blocked list on Facebook, two of them are direct siblings to both of my parents (One uncle from my mom's side, One aunt from my dad's side)... the other three are cousins. AND YES, THEY KNOW I BLOCKED THEM..but fvck them.
It's not like we even had any serious issues, but I truly passionately hate people who think being extremely wealthy grants them the right to have a say just because we share blood. I can't post something on Facebook and one thing will be asking silly questions like "Where are you? What are you doing now? I heard you got promoted, how much do you earn now? So you came to my city and didn't visit me?" .... dang, see jamb questions nah . I blocked the morrafvckers mehn.

Bro, you don't have any problem. Just hold your head up high and keep balling like there's no tomorrow. Any one who wants to be a monitor lizard can quench for all you care.

Cheers...

Exactly, you know how they do their things. You know when many of these things happened, I was less than 10 year old then. If you read my first post, you will see where I mentioned that the guy duped my mum which led to his father's visit to Lagos.

My elder sister just gave me indepth explanation of what happened. This guy was like her PA and knows a lot about my mum. I know she used to visit Abeokuta to and fro and she used to talk about one quarry in that region. My sister just told me today that my mum actually owned the quarry and she sold it when she wanted to travel to the US. She gave this guy huge chunk of money to do somethings and he went on to do FAKE docs for my mum and did original for himself, which was what he used to travel out of Nigeria.

According to my sister, that was the beginning of my mum's downfall which led to me dropping out of school more than 2 times in my education timeline. I remember being sent home from school several times, landlord throwing away our belongings inside rain, I going to stay with an aunt, hawking in the street of Lagos for 3 years, mother left us behind to see if she can find something to do with the little money left with her, there was no telephone and we even thought she was dead for more than 5 years until family decide to go search for her.

That woman went through hell just for accepting devil who came into her house with nylon and slippers. Yet, he was preaching to me when I told him we have been left on our own. Telling me "it is only God that can help" he probably thought I wanted to ask him for money. You may not believe this but my mother was the major supplier of ALL building materials used at the foundation stage for the popular Teslim Balogun Stadium. As it is now, every building material you see at the foundation stage of that stadium was supplied by her. She was moving money in BAGS but these family members fleeced her. She helped at the detriment of her children.

I will reply him at the right time... ALL OF THEM. That is why those who have felt my reprisals said "I don't forget the past"

P.S: You know Nairalanders have their way of reading meanings lol. Please, the stadium part, it was just the beginning of the construction, not the entire building. The company that was handling it abandoned it after some years, as we know is the culture of most Nigerian government project, before it was completed. But for the foundation, they started it.

bukatyne:
@futurism:

Except you are a sicker for pain, I don't understand why you and your siblings want/consider keeping in touch with family members who never cared about your existence.

Now you seem to be having small change, they are suddenly friendly.

You need to learn about your family history and dynamics... I find it strange that several members of your family would turn their backs on your family.

Like we say... Ti isu eyan ba funfun, a fi owo Bo je.....

If your yam is white, you will hide it in your palms to eat.

God be with you.

It may sound strange because you have not experienced such. Truth is I used to wonder how my mum was different at heart among most of them, especially her own siblings. My mum, being a Benin woman, is from a family where jealousy is rife, when I mean jealousy I am not talking about something normal but one that share some traits of hatreds. It is just the unfortunate family we found ourselves.

And her weakest point is being generous to a fault, trusting people easily. I have those traits too but her life on earth has often reminded me to put a limit.

futurism:
It may sound strange because you have not experienced such. Truth is I used to wonder how my mum was different at heart among most of them, especially her own siblings. My mum, being a Benin woman, is from a family where jealousy is rife, when I mean jealousy I am not talking about something normal but one that share some traits of hatreds. It is just the unfortunate family we found ourselves.

And her weakest point is being generous to a fault, trusting people easily. I have those traits too but her life on earth has often reminded me to put a limit.

You clearly stated they are a jealous lot...

What are you and your siblings still considering contacting them for? Don't add them on whatsapp, defriend them on Facebook etc.

Like P-Square. ..

This game is over.

Reading this just makes me thank God for the kind of family I have. All my uncles both on my mom's and dads side are all very good people. I school outside Nigeria and was having trouble paying my fees due to forex for both semesters my uncles who stay overseas came to my rescue including pocket money. I don't remember not calling any of my uncles to greet and I won't get money. I love my family and I am living for them.

tensazangetsu20:
Reading this just makes me thank God for the kind of family I have. All my uncles both on my mom's and dads side are all very good people. I school outside Nigeria and was having trouble paying my fees due to forex for both semesters my uncles who stay overseas came to my rescue including pocket money. I don't remember not calling any of my uncles to greet and I won't get money. I love my family and I am living for them.

You are blessed. Make sure you keep it among your children. There is nothing like a family where love and understanding thrive.

There is something I have learnt and that is everyone cannot be there for you at the same time and no matter who you help, they don't owe you anything. My dad once said, whatever you do for someone else, you do for yourself. Never expect to receive payment for deeds done from the same person. God or karma or the universe would deliver to you your reward from unexpected sources. Most men I know were not made by their families but by friends. Just believe no one but God owes you any reward, and you will get 10 times your expectations.

Most times, these relatives just keep in touch because they marvel at how you keep living above the standard they expect. Give him your number, let him keep in touch, don't discuss successes or setbacks with him. Just live your life free from hate. Very soon he will come to you looking for one solution or another. Speaking from experience.

futurism:


Exactly, you know how they do their things. You know when many of these things happened, I was less than 10 year old then. If you read my first post, you will see where I mentioned that the guy duped my mum which led to his father's visit to Lagos.

My elder sister just gave me indepth explanation of what happened. This guy was like her PA and knows a lot about my mum. I know she used to visit Abeokuta to and fro and she used to talk about one quarry in that region. My sister just told me today that my mum actually owned the quarry and she sold it when she wanted to travel to the US. She gave this guy huge chunk of money to do somethings and he went on to do FAKE docs for my mum and did original for himself, which was what he used to travel out of Nigeria.

According to my sister, that was the beginning of my mum's downfall which led to me dropping out of school more than 2 times in my education timeline. I remember being sent home from school several times, landlord throwing away our belongings inside rain, I going to stay with an aunt, hawking in the street of Lagos for 3 years, mother left us behind to see if she can find something to do with the little money left with her, there was no telephone and we even thought she was dead for more than 5 years until family decide to go search for her.

That woman went through hell just for accepting devil who came into her house with nylon and slippers. Yet, he was preaching to me when I told him we have been left on our own. Telling me "it is only God that can help" he probably thought I wanted to ask him for money. You may not believe this but my mother was the major supplier of ALL building materials used at the foundation stage for the popular Teslim Balogun Stadium. As it is now, every building material you see at the foundation stage of that stadium was supplied by her. She was moving money in BAGS but these family members fleeced her. She helped at the detriment of her children.

I will reply him at the right time... ALL OF THEM. That is why those who have felt my reprisals said "I don't forget the past"

P.S: You know Nairalanders have their way of reading meanings lol. Please, the stadium part, it was just the beginning of the construction, not the entire building. The company that was handling it abandoned it after some years, as we know is the culture of most Nigerian government project, before it was completed. But for the foundation, they started it.

That bit in bold is something that kinda rings true with me also.

I actually forgive a lot and move on, but I can never have the same type of relationship with that person ever again...I have tried, but my spirit doesn't just know how to act like someone never fvcked up. My mom Knows this about me and is aware of my deep dislike for her brother so much that anytime we have a family get-together, she still calls me aside and pleads with me to act cool with him.

The last time she tried this. I told her, "mom, I've forgiven him, but I couldn't possibly be cool with him ever again. I'm not Jesus who forgives and forgets, neither do I want to be like him.." She gave me that 'this one sef' look and walked away, she knows her son.

bukatyne:


What"s wrong with the questions your relatives asked (except if you've had previous issues with them?) though I agree some questions are personal 'Like how much you are earning' but it's the same question I can ask my cousins when I see them physically...

You be oversabi on a normal day, no surprises.

Op, I can really understand your pain. I feel same sometime when I see some of my extended family members. However yours might still be better, you just have to let go and leave your life as if they don't really exist. If they show up fine, if they don't fine but always keep a distance.

These family relatives can be funny. When the going is tough, they can be very nasty but when you are doing fine, they will start looking for how to sneak into your life.
I am not the person that will go about pretending and shining teeth for them. I will just chat casually with them and trust me, there would be a lot of distance between us.
Just leave them, shame and regret has started slapping them and knocking them. Pathetic people.

crackhaus:

You be oversabi on a normal day, no surprises.

So you don't have oversabi cousins?

Eyah. ... what a pity.

bukatyne:


So you don't have oversabi cousins?

Eyah. ... what a pity.

How has your question and pity stopped you from being an oversabi cousin?

OP I have read all and I pray your experience turns to wisdom and fortune for you coupled with good health. It is well

Op, I can relate. Pls do well to stay well away from them to avoid being hurt when you rise higher. Thank God you are not where you used to be, and I believe your mother's reward will be visited on you the children.