Coming from an environment where I’m surrounded by policemen and women, one would have expected a more sympathetic or, would I rather say, considerate assessment of these gentlemen and ladies who “risk their lives for our sakes. My friends whose parents are “officers” may not agree with me, my relatives and friends who are of this profession may get offended seeing this, but don’t you agree that the truth must be said? I know you do.

So much has been said about these lawbreakers, sorry law keepers. They have a knack for detecting untroubled, pothole ridden parts of our roads and setting up snares in such places. Then they will become adept at toll collection from innocent and not-so-innocent road users who would rather spare some loose cash than allow the law keepers waste their precious time. Technicalities abound; any weaponry can be expended in the accomplishment of this demanding task. If the tires aren’t too old, then the fire-extinguisher would have expired; if the seat belts aren’t wearing out, it must be the brake light case that is a bit cracked. There will always be something, which when proving difficult to detect, the law keepers could brandish their speaking pipes and make hints at the possibility of accidental discharges.

This is just one amongst so many avenues where these guys show dexterity, but at tasks meant for others. If they are so good at the FRSC’s job, would it be a surprise the day you awake to meet a policeman atop the electric pole beside your house, making disconnections? I wouldn’t. I can’t count anything beyond them.

Well, enough of these digressions. Let’s focus on the inspiration behind this article. Have our policemen been any useful? I mean those of the Nigerian Police. Have they been carrying out the very mandate behind their existence? I understand, and stand to be corrected if wrong, that the police is the organ of government charged with ensuring that rules and regulations are obeyed and procedures enforced. Have our Nigerian Police been doing this? The police is also to ensure, to the best of their ability, that the lives and properties of civilians are safe; have we been seeing this in operation? Did we see this in operation in the Edo state election? Weren’t acts of electoral malpractices carried out in spite of their heavy presence? Did we see this in the Ondo and Rivers state elections; did violence not mar the latter especially despite a heavy deployment of our police arsenal? Would the situation have been any worse had any of these been un-policed? I don’t think so.

The excuse that the police (Nigeria’s) is poorly armed has been recurrently peddled; this has been used as the perfect alibi to explain away their numerous gaffes. I beg to disagree. There is the saying that a lazy farmer always quarrels with his tools – that appears to have been the case with our police. In recent years, especially with the advent of democracy, governments at various levels have invested a lot in trying to revamp our police. Arms have been procured, patrol vans have been provided, scarce resources have been expended on training and retraining of our police officers, yet the returns have been disappointingly deficient. Even their uniforms have been changed! They have always contrived to put these facilities to use in the very ways they weren’t intended for. How many times have we come in contact with gun-brandishing police officers flagging down vehicles on our roads, with the singular aim of extorting these drivers, with a shiny patrol van parked by the roadside? These guys will be the first to disappear in those same vans once they caught wind of a robbery operation a few metres away.

Maybe I’m over-generalizing, but who wouldn’t after an experience like mine? Let’s examine my story. After some years in the Government Reservation Area of Benin-city, I decided to relocate to a less expensive and developing part of the city. This appeared cool at first – cheaper rent rates, quiet neighbourhood, seemingly truly caring neighbours, but that was how far it went. The area had the terrible reputation for having been a prowling ground for armed robbers in the recent past and there had only been a lull in this since my advent. Well, I thought, this shouldn’t be much of a problem – especially as there was a newly established police station close by. I didn’t ask why my neighbours hadn’t been inviting the police to quell such attacks, or were they heavy sleepers who were always taken unawares? Maybe they lacked the necessary means to contact the police, or weren’t in the know of the responsibilities of that arm of government. I made sure to secure their contacts and all and even got familiar with one or two policemen in that station. Being a light sleeper, I was sure I couldn’t be taken unawares, and with new over-the-air means of purchasing airtime, I was in good stead to always have the upper hand even when I ran out of credit.

A month into my arrival, those men of the underworld struck again. As expected, I was ready. I had slept early that evening with the aim of waking up at midnight to do some online transactions. The network was usually better at such time due to the minimal traffic, and after a hectic day at work, I needed a clear head to make sound decisions. I had set up my laptop and was awaiting it complete boot-up when I heard the first gunshot sound. My phone instantly in hand, I went to the switch to switch off the light in my bedroom. With my ears pinned to the window protectors, I soon picked out the sounds of activity a few metres away. They had to be breaking down a door from the manner of the sounds. Yes! I soon heard what sounded like the door giving way. The barking orders came on next and soon another gunshot accompanied by a lady’s screams.

“Hello, am I onto the Siloko Police Station?” I mouthed into his phone’s mouthpiece.

“Yes,” a gruffly voice replied. “Who be this?”

I ignored his clearly unfriendly tone. “Moses Osasu…”

“Moshiosasu?”

“Moses! Moses Osasu…”

“Relax nau, na quarrel? Why you dey call?”

“I am calling from 24___ street, Upper Division, Benin-city…” I didn’t allow him another interruption before continuing. “There is a robbery operation currently on-going, the robbers are just two houses away from mine, No 22, I think…”

“Wetin dem carry?”

“Huh…”

“Na cutlass or gun or knives?”

Did this arm honestly expect me to stick my neck so out as to know how well armed the robbers were?

“I had a gunshot just now, please come immediately.”

After a couple of seconds, which sounded like a couple of minutes to me, the policeman finally promised that help was on the way.

I was happy to hear that. Considering the distance of our street from the police station, the officers would be to the rescue in no time.

Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen, twenty…a whole thirty-five minutes elapsed, thirty-five minutes in which the robbers had been gone for over fifteen minutes, before I heard the police sirens. The patrol jeep was soon in view, which after making several ostentatious swerves here and there, was finally brought to an abrupt halt three houses away from mine.

What came next is something that amazes me to this day. A megaphone sounded in the night air, first croaky before proper adjustments were set in. Then came the voice behind it.

“This is the Nigerian Police! The police is here! I repeat, the police is here! Moses Osasu, there is no cause for alarm, the police is here! Who is Moses Osasu? Moses Osasu, you called us and we are now here. You may come out now, the police is here!”

I remembered Elijah on the mount that moment. Where was that power that consumed the hosts of soldiers sent by the king to bring him in? If only I could muster a fraction of that ability, I would have ensured the police announcer was no more the next second. Was it mischief, or was it stupid tactlessness? Whichever, it was the height of cluelessness I had ever seen. I still imagine it to this day if those men ever had the intention of combating the robbers. Had they deliberately delayed till they were sure the robbers were done before coming? Could this have been out of fear or as a result of an actual conspiracy between the law-keepers and lawbreakers? One couldn’t rule out either, especially when we take into consideration the diverse tales we’ve been regaled with over the years.

Whatever the case, it was the most despicable case of insensitivity and/or senselessness I had and may ever encounter. For such to have come from an institution supposed to perform their duty with super intelligence says a lot. My life was clearly endangered; those robbers had been provided a target by the police, and who knew what they had in store for Moses Osasu? I had paid for an entire year, but what was the rent when my life was in line? I was out of the house and area the very next week. Ever since, juxtaposing mine with other tales of the police/policed experiences, I ask the question: HAVE THEY EVER BEEN USEFUL?

Lalasticlala, Seun...

Nice write-up. you should have summarised it to enable others read up. can't help laughing on the issue of the officer with the megaphone calling your name.
God help our country.

pedo360:
Nice write-up. you should have summarised it to enable others read up. can't help laughing on the issue of the officer with the megaphone calling your name.
God help our country.

Such laughter is only possible when one's a third party. Just imagine how Moses felt.