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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / My Funny Weed Experience (4438 Views)
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My Funny Weed Experience by buskie13(m): 11:56am On Jan 30, 2017 |
I had just moved out of my parents house and was
sharing a room with my "friend". I had no idea he
smoked weed, despite his suspicious movements
and signature weed scent(abi na odour?) barely
two weeks after moving in with him, my worst
fears were confirmed as he started bringing home
his weed smoking buddies and they would
occassionally roll a wrap and smoke it right there
in the room or mix the weed with beans or
spagehtti.
Being a very curious person i always wondered
what made them happy after smoking, so i decided
to find out for myself(wrong move)
It was a very hot day in february, a saturday i
think it was, my friend was out as usual. I
searched everywhere for his stash but couldn't
find it so i decided to go and get mine. I arrived
the weed joint all sweaty and nervous, half
expecting to get muged but nobody seemed to be
aware of my presence there, they were all on
different planets all expect one i concluded that
he must be the seller so i approached him and the
following conversation ensued:
Me: how far?
Weed seller: i dey
Me: i wan buy weed
Weed seller: how many parcel?
Me: parcel ke? Iro oo, na just small i need
Weed seller: laughs really hard. bolo leleyi sha
(meaning this guy is a dunce oo)
Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small wrap, i
didn't know that. I thought it was something very
large.
I gave him 1000naira and he gave me a tiny wrap
of weed with a white paper, i was suprised when
he gave me 950 as change. I couldn't beleive weed
was that cheap.
On my way home, i decided not to smoke it but mix
it with beans because i thought that it will be
better that way(another wrong move). Long story
short, i cooked beans and added the whole weed,
ate it and called my friend, i told him ogbeni i just
ate weed oo and nothing happened to me this one
that you people will eat and be feeling funky, i don
chop am oo. My friend was like ehen you be strong
man oo
I decided to take a quick nap before doing laundry,
i woke up about 20 minutes later on the floor i
was banging my head on the floor, and i couldn't
stop, my heart beat was so audible and fast,
everything was extra bright and extra loud. After
a few minutes of head banging, i was able to get
up from the floor,
I felt as if i had just gained access to a part of my
mind that I never knew existed previously, it was
scary and cool at the same time. I could feel the
blood flowing in my veins(you have to experience
it to believe it. Though I strongly advise against
it) i felt so uncomfortable in the room, it felt like
i was in an oven suddenly a voice in my head
wisphered ogbeni bo aso e joor (off your clothes) i
obeyed. The voice came again oya sa re(now run)
that was when i realised that the weed had taken
effect so i decided to take a shower to see if it
will calm me down, but the water felt so hot on my
skin so hot i ran out of the bathroom.
I called my friend to see if he could help me make
sense of what was going on but he laughed at me,
he asked me the quantity of weed i took and i told
him i used a whole parcel, he said guyyyyy you don
eff up if you no sleep in the next 30mins, you go
mad oo go chemist make you go explain yourself.
By this time things had escalated, i had a severe
itch at the back of my head that wouldn't go away
no matter how hard i scratched and i was
convinced that the beating in my chest was an evil
spirit that could only be killed with a punch. I ran
to my neighbour champion and told him champion e
jo e fun mi lese laya(champion pls punch me in the
chest) ti e ba gbami lese laya mo ma ku oo(if you
don't punch me i will die oo) he hissed and walked
out having had enough of such nonsense from the
boys in the boys quatters.
The voice in my head came again iwo na o de gba
ara e lese laya abi o ti fe ku ni(why don't you
punch yourself in the chest or do you want to
die?) i punched and punched but there was no
difference.
The house was getting hotter, the voice in my
head was getting louder, the itch in my head was
getting worse, and the evil spirit in my chest was
getting louder. Then came the voice again oya ma
sare lo(start running) so i started running but on
getting outside in the sun, i felt so cold i was
shivering but that didn't stop me from running(i
would have given husain bolt a run for his money
on that day).
On getting to the chemist, i realised i was bare
footed, i told him i had a severe headache i
needed something to make me sleep immediately,
he gave me the drug and i chewed it right there in
his presence, next i asked him to give me a drug
for evil spirit, that was when he realised
something was wrong with me and chased me out.
I got back home and tried to sleep but my heart
beat wouldnt let me, so i ran back out this time
around to a nurse in the area, first thing she
asked was kilode o wo bata ni? (why don't you
have your shoes on? I told her jackie chan ti gba
bata lowo mi (jackie chan collected my shoes) i
was finally able to explain my situation to her and
she took me in, tied something around my elbow
and injected me directly in the vein. I passed out
immediately only to wake around 1 or 2am in the
middle of the night with the worst kind of hunger
I have ever felt in my life. I ate a whole loaf of
butter field bread in one sitting without butter or
tea.
I came home to a hero's welcome, my friend told
me e be like say your head no carry am but e go
better make you try am once more so you go dey
use to it. The following day while the house was
empty, I packed my Ghana must go and like the
prodigal son in the bible I went back home to my
parents. It's been a few years since that
experience but the lesson I learnt is an
unforgettable one. My curiosity hasn't gotten me
in trouble again and my circle of friends have
since changed. 13 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by buskie13(m): 11:57am On Jan 30, 2017 |
cc
lalalasticlala 1 Like |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by INTROVERT(f): 12:01pm On Jan 30, 2017 |
Interesting 1 Like |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by banjicom(m): 12:14pm On Jan 30, 2017 |
Igbo is d real evil spirit o, 1 Like |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by casttlebarbz(m): 12:19pm On Jan 30, 2017 |
lol...kush gang com see this newbie 1 Like |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by Emescot(m): 12:27pm On Jan 30, 2017 |
Lol... I cant even laugh at you 1 Like |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by odiereke(m): 12:30pm On Jan 30, 2017 |
This is a a very serious case ooooo. 1 Like |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by Pchikaodili(m): 12:31pm On Jan 30, 2017 |
U re welcome into our world 1 Like |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by buskie13(m): 10:04pm On Feb 03, 2017 |
INTROVERT:thanks..but y can't d mods help me get this to FP...is this not beta dan d celebs going to Ibadan to fight 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by dyangprof(m): 11:36am On Feb 04, 2017 |
Hmm 2 Likes |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by buskie13(m): 8:26pm On Feb 05, 2017 |
dyangprof:king of igbo i hail thee |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by dyangprof(m): 8:39pm On Feb 05, 2017 |
buskie13:na me and u na |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by jayied(m): 9:23pm On Feb 05, 2017 |
Copy and paste |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by buskie13(m): 9:39pm On Feb 05, 2017 |
dyangprof:lol |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by buskie13(m): 9:39pm On Feb 05, 2017 |
jayied:From ur papa blog abi where? |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by dyangprof(m): 9:41pm On Feb 05, 2017 |
buskie13:i smoked today. hw about u? |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by buskie13(m): 9:44pm On Feb 05, 2017 |
dyangprof:I've repented a long time ago |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by dyangprof(m): 9:51pm On Feb 05, 2017 |
buskie13:even me |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by buskie13(m): 10:04pm On Feb 05, 2017 |
dyangprof:thank God... |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by jayied(m): 9:31pm On Feb 06, 2017 |
buskie13:idiot go form ur own weed experience. Copy cat. |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by gqboyy(m): 9:54pm On Feb 06, 2017 |
I once read this ur story in this forum |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by buskie13(m): 6:44am On Feb 07, 2017 |
jayied:u are not sensible...i'll let u pass..mumu |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by buskie13(m): 6:45am On Feb 07, 2017 |
gqboyy:tnx...nothing bad refreshing ur memory again |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by gqboyy(m): 10:51am On Feb 07, 2017 |
buskie13:it's very funny and scary, i've changed my mind abt trying weed |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by uolamide(m): 8:41am On Feb 08, 2017 |
I had this same crazy experience last December.. After taking monkey tail.. Spiced with extra local igbo(weed) i was taken to church that very day.. I confessed all my sins.. I wore my clothes 5 times without actually putting it on. Then i walked naked outside looking for where to bath i almost enter orita metta(junction).. Nah that time i remember that yoruba adage wey talk say if crase person enter junction e go remain permanent.. You just need to experience this feeling it can't be described with mere words. Abeg this thing needs to hit front page. 4 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by jayied(m): 10:03pm On Feb 08, 2017 |
buskie13:e pain am |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by buskie13(m): 2:45pm On May 14, 2017 |
uolamide:lalasticlala is busy hunting snakes |
Re: My Funny Weed Experience by jbblues24(m): 6:50pm On May 31, 2019 |
There is no April 1st in Oga Ade's calendar, because no one can fool him. |
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