Lets go there:

A mother and daughter were walking through the park one sunny
afternoon. They passed a bench where two teenagers were making out. The
daughter turns to her mother and asks
"What are they doing?"
The mother stutters and replies
"They are making cakes dear"
The next day the mother took the daughter to the zoo. They went to
see the gorillas. When they got there the gorillas were shagging in the
cage. Again the daughter turns to the mother and asks
"What are they doing?"
The mother is not as shocked and remembers what she had said to her daughter in the park.
"They are making cakes dear"
That night the mother and father got jiggy on the sofa. The next
morning the daughter comes into the kitchen and asks her mother
"Mum, were you and dad making cakes on the sofa last night?"
The mother was very embarrassed and turn to her daughter and said
"Why dear?"
To that the daughter replied
"Because i just licked the icing off of the sofa"

A man and his wife got to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th
Anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25
years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my
naked body in front of you, what was going through you mind?"
The husband repled, "All I wanted to do was to f**k you brains
out, and suck your tits dry."
The as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking
now?"
He replied, "It looks like I did a pretty good job."

- - - - - - ---- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - --

What did God say when he saw the first black person?
Damnit, I burnt one!

There
was this naija guy who was attending a meeting in France. He didn't speak much
French. He met a woman and that night they had their own meeting.

While they were where geting it down, she kept yelling, "TROU FAUX, TROU
FAUX." He did not know what that meant, but assumed it to be some sort of
praise and appreciation for his technique. So he kept going even faster.

The next day, he went to play golf with the men he had the meeting with. One of
them made a hole in one. To praise the guy, he yelled, "TROU FAUX, TROU
FAUX !"

They all looked at him and said, "what do you mean wrong hole?

A very desperate marriage
A man really loved a woman, but
he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and
neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once
a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got
around to suggesting marriage much less living together.
But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone, "June."
"Yes, this is June."
"Will you marry me?"
"Of course I will! Who's this?"

loving is a passion, fucking is a game, the boys get all the pleasure the
girls get all the pain. He tells you that he loves you and you believe
it's true but when your stomach starts to swell he says "wtf is wrong
with you" 15min of passion 9moths of pain 4 hrs of labor , and now a
baby with no name. The baby is a bas, ta, rd, the mother is a hore,it never would of happened if the rubber hadn't tore.

good job. you try

thankes

nice and matured jokes.

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
'Come with me', said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion.
It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an olym, pic
size pool.
'Wow, thank you', said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
'Wait, I think you are a little mixed up', said the priest. 'Shouldn't
I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to
church every day, and preached God's word.'
'Yes, that's true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone prayed.'

The two thousand member Baptist
church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The
preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long
black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other
stay, ed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their
coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out
the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All
right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

Husband and wife arrive in heaven. Wife says "here we are together again" husband says "Bleep that! The deal was till death do us part. Bitch, I'm single!

Husband COMES HOME FROM CHURCH;he GREETS Hiswife AND LIFTS her UP.

He THEN CARRIES her AROUND THE HOUSE.THEWife IS SO SURPRISED AND she ASKS'' DID THE BISHOP PREACH ABOUT BEING ROMANTIC '' ?

THEhusband replies, '' NO, HE SAID WE MUSTCARRY OUR BURDENS AND SORROWS '

You did good son

Thank you@kunbee

A Jamaican yardie goes into a brothel and says 'how much fe ah Bleep?' the prostitute says '£100'. The yardie says 'me will pay yuh £200 fe Jamaican style. The prostitute gets worried and says no. The yardie says arite me will give yuh £500. The prostitute thinks ok how bad can Jamaican style be, so she agrees. After 30mins the prostitute says 'Oooh! that was amazing but where does the Jamaican style come in?' The yardie says 'me will pay yuh next week '

The bride tells her husband,
"Honey, you know I'm a virgin
and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you
explain it to me first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it
simply, we will call your private
place 'the
prison' and call my private thing
'the prisoner'. So what we do is:
put the
prisoner in the prison.
And then they made love for the
first time.
Afterwards, the guy is lying
face up on the bed, smiling with
satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles,
"Honey the prisoner seems to
have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles.
"Then we will have to re-
imprison him."
After the second time they
spent, the guy reaches for his
cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the
new experience of making love,
gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the
prisoner is out again!"
The man rises to the occasion,
but with the unsteady legs of a
recently
born foal.
Afterwards, he lays back on the
bed, totally exhausted.
She nudges him and says,
"Honey, the prisoner escaped
again."
Limply turning his head, He
YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life
sentence,
OKAY!

U dey try

nice one

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The
bartender asks, "Hey, where did you get that from?"
The parrot replies, "There's thousands of 'em in Africa."

An old one i guess!


One day a woman was advising her daughter: my daughter pls if any boy touches u on ur breast tell d boy stop and if he touches u on ur lap tell hin don't. So when she got 2 school as usual she went to play with her friends but dis time a boy. As dey where playing d boy touched her on her lap and immediatly on her breast then d girl shoute "don't stop" so d boy continued. Unfortunatly d girl got pregnant. Now her mother was mad at her. Din't I tell u what 2 do when dey disturbing u, d girl replied I did. D mother said how did u do it. She replied as we were playing d boy touched me on my lap and immediatly my breast and I said don't stop.

Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman"

A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck

A MAN GOES FOR A BLOOD TEST,A NURSE TOOK HIS FINGER BLOOD SAMPLE BUT CANT FIND COTTON.SO SHE SUCKS HIS FINGER!HE IS SO HAPPY AND HE ASKS"CAN I GET A URINE TEST ALSO?


**You might have to turn your computr upside down here**
After
numerous rounds of "We
don't even know if Osama is still
alive," Osama himself decided to
send George
Bush a letter in his own
handwriting to let him know he
was still in the game.
Bush opened the letter and it
contained a single line
of Coded message:
370H-SSV-0773H
Bush was baffled, so he e-mailed
it to Condoleezza Rice .
Co, ndi and her aides had not a
clue either, so they sent it to the
FBI.
No one could solve it at the FBI
so it went to the CIA, then to
MI6 and Mossad.
Eventually they asked Australian
Intelligence (ASIO) for help.
Within a minute, ASIO emailed
the White House with
this reply:
"Tell the President he's holding
the message upside
down."

8 MEN
WERE RAPING A WOMAN,THE
WOMAN WAS LAUGHING
NON STOP, SO AFTER THE
MEN GOT BUGGED AND ASK
HER WHY SHE WAS
LAUGHING,, SHE REPLIED "I
HAVE AIDS"

lol. nice1 keep it coming

Sweetliet i'm beginning to suspect that ya joke o

For what

U try nice joke bout d french lady

Hmmm