Example?

[b]Things are so tough this days, u can't even see food and eat in your dream again.

Somewhere in Nigeria, inside this cold, one girl is shivering and asking her boyfriend for Ice Cream.
Wickedness

I broke up with my ex because she took a shortcut and beat me in Pes 2015. She's never done this before. Another man taught her, I know it.

A baby's laughter is the sweetest sound u'll ever hear. Unless it's 2am. And u're in Benin. And u're home alone. And u don't have a
baby!

U're 35, single, fat, ugly, poor & u're still playin hard to get!?! How are the witches in your village doing it? HOW?

I just apologized to my gf for something she did wrong.
Relationship is fun.

A gossip is a person with a great sense of romour.

Women might not be able to find their keys, hair ties, pancake or shoes.. but they can remember something you said two and a half years ago!

I slapped a soldier today on my way going to work and he ran away. So I knew he was a fake soldier. Let's expose all the fake soldiers in town. When you see anyone in military uniform, slap and see what happens.
Say No to fake soldiers, slap a soldier today...

Warning
There are some people selling fake
poison, please make sure u test before u buy, if u test and u are still alive, that's a fake one*


Just imagine what will happen if the angel who as been holding the trumpet to Christ's second coming for over 2000 years decide to test if the trumpet is still working.[/b]

I don't care what people think of me, atleast mosquitos find me attractive.

How about we take this to the bed?. . .i whispered to my garri and groundnut.

I'm just one step away from being rich, all i need now is money

That awkward moment when you see madman for road and una wear the same cloth.

Hmmm....wahala dey o!

A girl used her dad's picture as her WhatsApp DP. One of her friend saw it and asked d girl."So u also know this yeye man? He hates using condom and doesn't even pay well"

When ghost slap you, na then you go know say even army na your friend.

Dear Ladies...
Your Boyfriend's money is NEVER your own, Success is NOT sexually transmitted biko. Work hard and pay Your own bills.

My girlfriend was screaming at me, GIVE IT TO ME, I'M SO WET. PLS GIVE IT TO ME.... She can scream at me all she likes. She still ain't getting my umbrella sha.

hahahaha really funny


cc: lalasticlala, seun, mynd44 you guys need to see this

Everything is now so expensive in Nigeria, witches no longer serve food in dreams anymore

Abi when last you chop for dream

Set candle light dinner for a nigerian girl on a dinner date and she thinks you are a
ritualist.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
and most often in the tongue of the
liar.

Guys how can you say You and your girlfriend have been going out for 6years...abeg where una dey go...una never reach der?

Pals He attends a white garment church and beats his girlfriend
daily... can I call him Cele bobo on the beat?

If all you do in your relationship is cry, you need to ask yourself if you're dating a human being or an onion..

hahahahashgahahahsh I wan die oh lol god where did u get this.

lol

dessz:
hahahahashgahahahsh I wan die oh lol god where did u get this.

I love quotes especially the funny quotes and statues so I got them plenty

She broke up with u because you lost ur job and u got a new job and still want her back, even d people doing u frm your village will be shocked

I usually don't care what people are saying until they start whispering

Why call it a 'One Night Stand', i'm sure 99.99% of the time, nobody was standing

Fufu is just a pounded yam with body odour

Not all marriages start with "WILL YOU MARRY ME" ... some starts with "I DON GET BELLE" or "I GO KILL MYSELF O"

When a gurl suddenly starts keeping quiet and looking else where in a convo... bros, clear
road..... she wan mess

Only in Africa your Mum beat u so hard till She hurts herself & then says "Look what you've done. u want to kill me abi"?

Don't put others photos on your profile. use amazing whatsapp DP images of own.

Aabhapure:
Don't put others photos on your profile. use amazing whatsapp DP images of own.

iyam not understandimg

Funny :-)