diesel86:


Thanks for your concern bro, I have talked to her, she has agreed but the issue now is her parents are insisting on the registry.
I don't know if Islamically parents have such right ?

Alhamdulillaah she agreed, thats the important thing, and as for the questio, Why dont you call the scholar i recommended and direct your questions to him instead, i am not a scholar neither I'm i a big student of knowledge, and i'm not even a small student of knowledge either, i dont know anything compared to a small student of knowledge. direct the question and subsequent ones to udhtaaz ambueya.

Salam alaykum

How did it go?

Hmm

Don't accept such....

No to Registry... Happy home is the main important of marriage..

Reading through these posts and seeing the way you men are against registry confirms your inferiority complex.
You will use the Qur'an to support your silly reasons and actions. Is the Lady not a human being with feelings too? What is wrong in securing her place as a wife. A lot of people commenting don't even know what registry entails. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Please if you love her then do it.
Love is both ways...
She has bent and you don't want to bend.. What kind of man are you? If I'm the Lady I'll walk out because it shows you always want to have your way but never consider her feelings.

For your info, the registry certificate is so so important. You'll need it to apply for visas

diesel86:
Salam Aleiykun, I have a burden i wish to share, and I do hope I get honest reply to my story.
I met this pretty sister about 7 years ago and we hit it off immediately, she was still in school when we started dating, I must clarify somethings at this juncture, First is that we are what some people would call nominal Muslims, even though I had my Quranic graduation when I was 15, but my fiancee to be is not as Islamically grounded as I am, it was me who introduced the use of hijab and scarf to her.
My purpose of writing this epistle is regarding our marriage rites. I proposed to her early 2016 with the plans of having our Nikkahi late 2016, unfortunately it was not to be, because I had some Business deals which went sour and so I had some discussion with my fiancee to let us have a low-key celebration. She did not agree to this and her reasons was that she was the first child and only girl in her family which means she has to be celebrated.
This was the beginning of so many issues to come, because of this we had to postpone to early 2017, now I have gone to her parents to explain my predicament but it's like they share the same sentiments as their daughter, seeing this I went back to my fiancee pleading with her to see reason with me, but she would not bulge, so I told her that she and her parents can have their way but I would never go with her to the registry which I had earlier agreed too ( but changed my mind when I saw how stubborn she could be, N.B for the over 5 years we dated I never saw this side of her ).
Now she has come around telling me she has agreed to not doing an elaborate ceremony but we must do the registry, and have told her a capital NO.
My question now is do I need to let her parents in on my decision because we have done a little intro so the whole of her family basically know me or should I just call their bluff tell my fiancee to obey my instructions or we just forget about the whole thing.
I really do love the girl but I guess sometimes some things are not just meant to be.Jazakumulahi Kairun as I await your responses.

Bro I have had several issues as same but not having a woman who respects you before even you're married could be dangerous at the long run, never let anyone intimidate you including your supposed in-laws at end the responsibility of your woman lies on you and no one else , respect those to be respected tho,
bro if you won't mind I have many religious Muslim ladies young as friends who will make a good wife, however iono what you've gone through with the lady, but trust in Allah for the best, hit me up if youd love to talk further, Thanks Ma'asalam

Assalamu alaykum brother. Ask a trusted schorlar if there is anything against marrying in the registry. If Islam is not against it then accept it as part of something she wants before she accepts the contract. I have a feeling it isn't only her parents that want that I think she wants it too, so if Islam isn't against it why don't you do this for her afterall she has compromised some of her conditions already.

landg:
Reading through these posts and seeing the way you men are against registry confirms your inferiority complex.
You will use the Qur'an to support your silly reasons and actions. Is the Lady not a human being with feelings too? What is wrong in securing her place as a wife. A lot of people commenting don't even know what registry entails. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Please if you love her then do it.
Love is both ways...
She has bent and you don't want to bend.. What kind of man are you? If I'm the Lady I'll walk out because it shows you always want to have your way but never consider her feelings.

For your info, the registry certificate is so so important. You'll need it to apply for visas

A point of correction. I am married, never did a registry wedding and I don't have a registry marriage certificate but me and my wife have been granted visas to the UK (twice), US (twice) and Canada with a marriage certificate issued by Ansarudeen.

@landg, a proper Islamic marriage guarantees a woman more rights than any registry marriage .

@Diesel, I would suggest you follow the advice given by brother AbdelKabir.

May Allah ease our affairs.

diesel86:
Salam Aleiykun, I have a burden i wish to share, and I do hope I get honest reply to my story.
I met this pretty sister about 7 years ago and we hit it off immediately, she was still in school when we started dating, I must clarify somethings at this juncture, First is that we are what some people would call nominal Muslims, even though I had my Quranic graduation when I was 15, but my fiancee to be is not as Islamically grounded as I am, it was me who introduced the use of hijab and scarf to her.
My purpose of writing this epistle is regarding our marriage rites. I proposed to her early 2016 with the plans of having our Nikkahi late 2016, unfortunately it was not to be, because I had some Business deals which went sour and so I had some discussion with my fiancee to let us have a low-key celebration. She did not agree to this and her reasons was that she was the first child and only girl in her family which means she has to be celebrated.
This was the beginning of so many issues to come, because of this we had to postpone to early 2017, now I have gone to her parents to explain my predicament but it's like they share the same sentiments as their daughter, seeing this I went back to my fiancee pleading with her to see reason with me, but she would not bulge, so I told her that she and her parents can have their way but I would never go with her to the registry which I had earlier agreed too ( but changed my mind when I saw how stubborn she could be, N.B for the over 5 years we dated I never saw this side of her ).
Now she has come around telling me she has agreed to not doing an elaborate ceremony but we must do the registry, and have told her a capital NO.
My question now is do I need to let her parents in on my decision because we have done a little intro so the whole of her family basically know me or should I just call their bluff tell my fiancee to obey my instructions or we just forget about the whole thing.
I really do love the girl but I guess sometimes some things are not just meant to be.Jazakumulahi Kairun as I await your responses.

Alaikum Salam,

Bro, you did the right thing by not bulging when you did not have enough for an elaborate wedding which is not required in Islam anyways only for bragging rights. (So unfortunate). Again, its pathetic, when you see people making comment on something they absolutely knew nothing about like saying its unislamic, guess what, its their myopic mindset and let them bring bruhaan if indeed they speak the truth?Now in the USA, most Masajids will not even conduct an islamic wedding until you bring a court wedding. This is because most times, the men (Arabs mostly) do whatever they like because their is no sharia in the USA and the women have no protection in the USA courts/laws because it is an islamic wedding. Yes, please go ahead and do the court registry with her but most importantly PRAY and make Duah about it all. May Allah guide us aright, ameen.

azeezbaba:


A point of correction. I am married, never did a registry wedding and I don't have a registry marriage certificate but me and my wife have been granted visas to the UK (twice), US (twice) and Canada with a marriage certificate issued by Ansarudeen.

@landg, a proper Islamic marriage guarantees a woman more rights than any registry marriage .

@Diesel, I would suggest you follow the advice given by brother AbdelKabir.

May Allah ease our affairs.

I guess those visas were temporary. It's needed for immigration purposes.
On the other hand, I'm putting into consideration the Lady's emotions. She has allowed him have his way already on the kind of marriage so why can't he keep to his promise.
If that is what makes her feel secured, then he should do it cos it he PROMISED her. Perhaps that was part of the reasons she agreed to marry him.
I see nothing but a selfish guy trying to hide under islam.

How come he just realised this after doing Introduction? Maybe because he feels she no longer has a choice.

He won't be the first muslim to go to the registry neither will he be the last. I hope you all won't complain if the heartbroken Lady changes for the worse tomorrow.

please contact me on WhatsApp on this number in shaa Allaah I will give u sincere advice. the number is 07033133702

We women love registry because the law recognises only the wife that you wed at the registry. So if you remarry or have other kids they are not entitled to inheritance and are not recognised under the law as your children. If fact if you did remarry she could sue you for bigamy as polygamy is not recognised under the law. Your property belongs to the two of you and she is entitled to equal share.


Women strongly believe that this secures their place in a marriage and you'll hear "Iyawo oloruka nimi". "Iyawo alarede nimi"

But this does not often work. I know of two confirmed cases- one a muslim woman whose husband now has a child and wife and the wife cannot do anything as children plenty. 2nd a christian whose husband just walked out of the marriage the kids and wife. Shebi it's the person you see that you will carry to court.

If this is why your wife wants the registry, Nigerian men have found ways to work round it. it though it contradicts the laws of Islamic marriage.

The Islamic marriage certificate is recognized worldwide and is valid for processing visas etc. Its legal.

The two examples above were the arguments given to me from my family when I wanted to push for a registry marriage.

landg:


I guess those visas were temporary. It's needed for immigration purposes.
On the other hand, I'm putting into consideration the Lady's emotions. She has allowed him have his way already on the kind of marriage so why can't he keep to his promise.
If that is what makes her feel secured, then he should do it cos it he PROMISED her. Perhaps that was part of the reasons she agreed to marry him.
I see nothing but a selfish guy trying to hide under islam.

How come he just realised this after doing Introduction? Maybe because he feels she no longer has a choice.

He won't be the first muslim to go to the registry neither will he be the last. I hope you all won't complain if the heartbroken Lady changes for the worse tomorrow.

There you go again. I am only responding to you because I want to correct this erroneous believe that without registry marriage, Muslims cannot apply for and be granted visas (temporary or permanent resident). Therefore, in response to your statement above, I am a Permanent Resident in Canada with my family and if that's what you refer to as temporary, then I agree with you.

In order not to digress too much, I stick with my earlier submission that the OP should consult with any ahlu sunnah alfa in his locality for guidance.

snapscore:
Salam alaykum

How did it go?

Thanks for your concern, she as agreed, though reluctantly and me promising not to disappoint, I do hope we work things ASAP .

I would have loved to quote everyone who as taken time out to contribute on this thread and can see that you all are genuinely concerned, for that I say a BIG thank you.
I have contacted some clerics as advised on this forum and have come to the conclusion not to go ahead with the registry, and my why is that i can see that my in-laws are the ones pushing for it, to them, I guess they are trying to give their daughter a safety net* funny I tell you, I do not plan on marrying more than one wife but things like this are reasons why men do such things.
I wouldn't be like those men, My fiancee as agreed with me on this and I do hope her family does so as well, If they don't I guess letting go would be the best option , I pray it does not get to that though.

Salam alaykum @ diesel86

If all she is worried about you getting a second wife. You can sign a legal document saying that she has the right to ask for separation of if you do. Or if a divorce happens, you can compensate her with money and properties.

snapscore:
Salam alaykum @ diesel86

If all she is worried about you getting a second wife. You can sign a legal document saying that she has the right to ask for separation of if you do. Or if a divorce happens, you can compensate her with money and properties.

I pray it doesn't get to that, am not naive though, if such should happen I definitely would do whatever would make her happy.

Assalaam Alaikum,
Please I would like to know if marriage certificate issued by TMC is sufficient for Canada EE or do I need to present any other documents to proved I'm married?

azeezbaba:


There you go again. I am only responding to you because I want to correct this erroneous believe that without registry marriage, Muslims cannot apply for and be granted visas (temporary or permanent resident). Therefore, in response to your statement above, I am a Permanent Resident in Canada with my family and if that's what you refer to as temporary, then I agree with you.

In order not to digress too much, I stick with my earlier submission that the OP should consult with any ahlu sunnah alfa in his locality for guidance.

azeezbaba:


A point of correction. I am married, never did a registry wedding and I don't have a registry marriage certificate but me and my wife have been granted visas to the UK (twice), US (twice) and Canada with a marriage certificate issued by Ansarudeen.

@landg, a proper Islamic marriage guarantees a woman more rights than any registry marriage .

@Diesel, I would suggest you follow the advice given by brother AbdelKabir.

May Allah ease our affairs.

Are you sure about this?

Both of 'em have absolutely no idea about Islam.

Muslim and registry ke?

No one advised the one and only messenger of allah on his proposed marriage to aishat at 6yr of age