When oyibo people describe a location, they simply say, "The place is about a mile and a half, north- west or 300 metres away from Greenville park." You actually know where you're going. . But in Naija, our house numbering system can't be trusted. You may find house number 43 in between house number 5 and 6. Moreover, we know nothing about miles and metres. So when some of you want to describe your location, you'll be like, "If you reach Mbonu crescent, you will see one big gutter. Jump the gutter and corner left. Do as if you're going right but be cornering left small small. Be going down down... straaaaaight! Until you will see one place they're selling akamu in front of one Redeemed church; opposite where they used to throwey dustbin. Just stand there and flash me. I will come outside."