Arsène Wenger has resigned as manager of Arsenal FC, bringing the curtain down on almost 21 years in charge of the Premier League club. The Frenchman won 3 league titles and 6 FA Cups during his time at Highbury and The Emirates.

Emotional

“It’s emotional,” Wenger told Soccer on Sunday. “I’ve enjoyed every minute at Arsenal. Preparing the team each summer, stuffing money under the mattress and buying gangly teenagers on the cheap, collapsing each spring and going out of every competition in a week, playing well again once the pressure is lifted and scraping 4th by the skin of our testicles. I’ll miss the cycle.”

“For sure, Arsenal Fan TV played a part in my decision,” he added. “That lazy little shit Theo Walcott showed me a video of some pox bottle called Troopz. He was talking what you English call ‘shite’, calling everybody ‘blood’ for some reason, like a half-pissed vampire. If that’s the new breed of Arsenal fan, I am happy to pull the ejector seat.”

Blood

Arsenal Fan TV star Troopz has welcomed the resignation.

“Where was I when I heard?” he told Soccer on Sunday. “I was giving blood, blood. Down at the blood bank, blood. And when the radio said that fucking fraud Wenger is finally gone, blood? My blood ran cold, blood. The blood drained from my face, blood. Blood blood, blood.”

“It’s probably saved my life, blood,” added the notorious hothead. “Doctors say my blood pressure is so high that I’ve technically been having a heart attack non-stop since 2004, blood. I haven’t sat in a chair since The Invincibles won the league. You feel me? I sleep standing up across the road from The Emirates, blood. Do you know what I was thinking when my baby was born? Wenger Out. I need help, blood.”

If you would like to make a donation to help Troopz receive treatment at the Anti-rage clinic in Vienna, please call the Blood hotline at 1800-you-feel-me-blood.
http://www.socceronsunday.com/article/arsene-wenger-resigns-from-arsenal/

April fool.

Lol

Lolzz

2035 his still there