₦airaland Forum

You have to curb some responsibility and get married, because necessity and responsibility will always be there.

Guy 40k per month no just try abeg.
Find a way of getting a better paying job or a means of earning extra income(maximize and utilize ur skills).U have rent to pay,feeding,transport and GOD help u if babies come ,how u dey even sustain urself with 40K?
Anyway,if u are lucky to meet a working class lady earning a good figure,all wud be well if u've got no ego

Poster, even if u had no responsibility towards ur youger siblings, I'd still say ur finances are still inadequate. Meanning, You'll av 2 save 4 a much longer time. However, U did not state wat catetgory of sch ur sibling are attending @ d moment n hw much u expend on dem n if they live wt u @ d moment. I also assume u av a girl u've proposed 2 n has agreed. Trust me, u'll have 2 deal wt so much pressure than u ever bargained 4. My ADVICE, go get a better paying JOB, if ur wife to is also working, mght just make ur life a bit less stressful. If not, u av 2 choice; Leave ur siblings 2 fend 4 their education or marry ur dream girl now n live happily "ever after".

All the best.

The reply from ifya, is kinda cruel. I think the man can be happily married on whatever income he is on. Things will definitely be tight given additional responsibilties but he has not said he want to start a family or have babies all over the place. If he is in love and wants to be married on low income, with a responsible; possibly solvent and earning lady then good luck to him.

Being made to feel responsible for being the eldest is one part of our culture that is a poison chalice. It is a good thing but when you have to sacrifice ou your ambition and even happiness for others (even if they are siblings), it can seem unfair and too much of a burden.

I feel you brother. The worse part of it is that as an elder child, can you now go to the people you have supported if you really need help? Personally, I'll find it hard - will rather suffer in silence if the siblings (some of them ingrates) will not see it fit to give some payback; one way or the other.

Anyway, ditch some of the responsibilities - get the schoolers to try and raise some funds for themselves by either working to supplement or find other sponsors. And then make sure you are getting married for the right reasons. Good luck.

[quote author=chris_j link=topic=372638.msg5201815#msg5201815 date=1262015418]The reply from ifya,  is kinda cruel. I think the man can be happily married on whatever income he is on. Things will definitely be tight given additional responsibilties but he has not said he want to start a family or have babies all over the place. If he is in love and wants to be married on low income, with a responsible; possibly solvent and earning lady then good luck to him.

Being made to feel responsible for being the eldest is one part of our culture that is a poison chalice. It is a good thing but when you have to sacrifice ou your ambition and even happiness for others (even if they are siblings), it can seem unfair and too much of a burden.

I feel you brother. The worse part of it is that as an elder child, can you now go to the people you have supported if you really need help? Personally, I'll find it hard - will rather suffer in silence if the siblings (some of them ingrates) will not see it fit to give some payback; one way or the other.

Anyway, ditch some of the responsibilities - get the schoolers to try and raise some funds for themselves by either working to supplement or find other sponsors. And then make sure you are getting married for the right reasons. Good luck.[/quote]Thank you for noticing my cruel words.
I also noticed u were still thinking,when u are awake and have arrived at a conclusion,let me know.Good day.
@Poster,while u are at it,pls do reflect on this fact;u prolly had little education and saddled with 4 siblings to cater for,wud u want ur first child to pass through same cycle as you?
why not wait a little bit,u can start saving . . .keep away a little of something each month and start up a small biz.No woman or marriage wud survive honestly without a little comfort and money brings comfort,with or without love.Goodluck .

@post
people , hold on a minute. lets ask the basic question before telling this man to go ahead and get married.
- does your spouse have a job?
- where do you guys intend to live?
- have you told your spouse about your financial situation?
- whats important to you right now?
- is getting married NOW a necessity?
- who is going to pay for the wedding?

@poster
if your problem is money then you have to understand what problems may arise if you aint got none. i am not saying that money is the way to happiness but it makes life easier, without it, there might be some very hard periods in your life. . . . . . .  especially if you want to start a family or if one of you need some unexpected expensive medical treatment.

stop looking at others and look at yourself and decide if you can or cant. some people wouldnt be able to do it with N100000 a month(let alone 40000). its all down to you.

Wait for sometime to acquire more money
Before getting married.

Poster. . .

You want to get married on 40K a month as well as continue to look after three siblings
Dont kid yourself. . . Shelve that marriage plans right now until your situation changes

I will advice u to wait a little as money is so important to be a good husband, and what would u do, if 9 months after wedding, you wife get belle?
Or talk to your wife to be and see how she could be of help too.
Also, think of something else to do on the side, cos 40K is just not enuf.

I don't know how old you are, but if you feel you're getting too old, you better do it now. You only cut your coat according to your size.

coolier:
I don't know how old you are, but if you feel you're getting too old, you better do it now. You only cut your coat according to your size.

What if your size is XXXL and you cant afford it.
I will advice to cut his coat according to his material