[size=14pt]If God Says So, I Will Return To Dejo Richards[/size]
Posted To The Web: Monday, December 28, 2009 - Posted By OnlineNigeria.com


Monalisa Chinda is your darling actress any day. However, the illustrious career of this pretty screen goddess was hit by a cyclone of controversial attracts and indeed a scandal that has seen her leaving her husband Dejo Richards and setting down as a single parent.

The talented actress bares it all in this interview with News of the People’s LUKMON AKINTOLA, as she talks for the first time since her separation on issues that led to the separation, life as a single parent, her current relationship, the misconception on her complexion and many more. Enjoy it.




What is this impression about you being mixblooded?
I am not mix-blooded, I am from Imo State, it is just that a lot of people have this impression that when you are light-complexioned, you must be a half-caste.

Then how do you explain your complexion, you are almost like a mullato?
It is the genes my friend, I inherited it.

What has seen you looking this beautiful?
Well, I use to love beans, but I cut down because of the fats. I am getting a little out of shape because of the fats.

How are you hoping to get back in shape because the fat is obviously telling on you?
Well, I am working on it, because right now I eat a lot of sea foods and I don’t do the beans any more practically, I watch what I eat.

You recently took part in a new movie ‘Nollywood Hustler’, how does it fell to be back?
It’s fine, but I don’t know why my producers always want me to play the bitch role; they seem to think that it is a perfect role for me, stereo type sort of.

You played a different role from the bitchy actress we know you play mostly, what was the challenge like?
This new movie is a comedy and it is different, I was supposed to play an over the diva which was quite different from what I have been used to and I tried, didn’t?

What is your biggest regret in life?
That was when I lost my dad in 2006, he was so kind to me that I felt really bad when it happened.

What is or was your happiest moment?
When I had my daughter on Febuary 13, 2007.

What was the experience like?
My daughter was a blessing from God. After I had lost two pregnancies which almost took my life, I decided to tell God please don’t let this baby go, keep me alive so I can take care of the baby, but if you want to let the baby go then kill me. And I think God loves me because I had a safe delivery.

Now you are a single mother, what is the difference between the married Monalisa and the single mother?
There is no difference, I am still the same person, I am still my self. I have not changed. I have never been any other person. The only difference is that I did not plan for what happened, I tried to make it work, but it just didn’t happen.

Are you presently in any relationship?
I wish I am, but. I want to give my self a break.

Following your separation we know that new admirers would have sprang up what would your ideal man be like?
I don’t know, I thought I found an ideal man, but it was not to be. I don’t know, honestly. God knows who I am, he should just give me that man, not necessarily handsome, but simple, God-fearing and loving.

What are you cooking right now that you want your fans to know more about?
It’s an academy with my friend and, my sister in the industry, Emen Isong.

What is your New year resolution (in view) based on your recent experiences?
I don’t want to do any thing that will not make me be myself. I just want to keep being who I am, humble and persevering, and I pray God helping me.

Are you currently happy being a single mother?
Yes, I am happy, but the challenges are there any way.

Your eye, they have this look about them, do you wear contact lenses?
I have a very terrible sight, I wear very thick lenses, I have always worn glasses since when I was eight.

Caught dead doing?
I can’t ever act nude

Not even for a million dollars?
I can’t do it, my body is the temple of God so should I go and act nude?

You were once alleged to be a very unpredictable and free lady who even dumped her boy friend whom she intended marrying in Spain, is there any truth there?
I don’t want to talk on that issue right now because I am not yet emotionally stable. So, until I am emotionally stable I won’t talk about it.

There is even a story that Dejo was married to a lady before he got married to you, but the relationship did not last, and he did not tell you about it. Is that the reason why you walked out on him?
That is part of it, but that is not the real issue.

Is this marriage something that can still be redeemed?
That is if God says so. If God says so, then I will listen to God, but it he does not, then I will stay where I am.

What is the thing you miss about Dejo, that special thing you can’t take away from him?
I can’t say

Are you saying there is nothing special about the man you married?
I am not saying that, it is just beyond me right now. I can’t describe it, it is beyond words.

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Is Segun and Dejo the same person?

First of all, I thought she was an Ikwerre chick.

Secondly, I did not see

I Miss You Segun, Come Get Me Before I Run Mad

anywhere.

Fantasizing slowpoke!

spikedcylinder:

Come back to me Dejo, where did she say that?

Read through the lines. You don't need a soothsayer to tell you that she is already missing her husband real bad. How can God demand she returns to Dejo when the man made her kneel down and serve him water and beats the holy cr.ap out of her regularly if she fails to comply. Are you not a woman, will you even think about it?.

She is still in love with that man and all these gragra na poker face. Dejo is the man.

[size=14pt]Top Nollywood actress, Monalisa Chinda reveals: Violence drove me out of marriage
[/size]

Celebrated Nollywood star actress, Monalisa Chinda has consistently maintained a deafening silence since her five-year marriage to ex husband, Segun Dejo Richards crashed in July. In fact, while her ex was busy granting interviews on the split union, the mother of one from Rivers State, to the consternation of many, especially her teeming fans and friends, completely refused to join issues with her ex on the pages of newspapers.

The only terse statement credited to her then was the one issued through her lawyer, stating that her marriage had broken down irretrievably due to incompatibility and irreconcilable differences. After this, the Glo ambassador withdrew into her cocoon and continued with her chequered life.

After several calls urging her to tell the world, especially her fans, her own side of the story, at least for record purposes, the effervescent thespian finally acquiesced, in the last week of Xmas. In an emotion-laden voice and intermittent sobs, Chinda, hesitantly gave Daily Sun an exclusive interview on her physically and emotionally troubled marriage, maintaining that it crashed because of incessant domestic violence and unending battery/assault from her ex. Read the shocking revelations, in this Chinda’s first and only interview since her marriage crashed.

Compliments of the season and how are you preparing for Xmas and the New Year? (Interview conducted before Xmas)
Thanks, nothing much, only that I want to dedicate December 26, to the less privileged children. I also want to visit the prisons and motherless babies homes on this day to do charity works. And may be, have fun with few of my close friends later in the day. Its not a new thing to me, I used to do charitable works a lot, even before I got married. I like to give back to the society; I’d always wanted to do charity, even when I was a kid. I ’ve always known that I needed to reach out to those who do not have.

How would you describe 2009, did you achieve all your set goals? In fact how has the year been to you?
I have every reason and right to give God all the glory because its been awesome. It was a year that I had a huge birthday bash for my daughter, Tamar, same year that Globacom made me an ambassador and several other good things.

It was also the same year that you broke up with your ex husband, don’t you want to talk about that too?
I would rather us not go to that area of my life.

A lot has been said and written about your crashed marriage mostly from your ex husband, why not say something, especially to your fans, for the very first time, at least, to put the records straight?

Why did your marriage crash?
Emm! First of all, its not a good thing to actually discuss publicly, because once a marriage is not good it’s the woman that people look up to for blames. My marriage, I would put it this way, crashed as a result of one not being able to… I think we were both not matured enough to handle marital matters, I mean marital crisis. In a marriage, at one point or another, you most definitely have issues. But the ability to come together and make up and know that marriage is for life; is not a joke. I respect marriage and love the institution so dearly. I also love the fact that God made the man and the woman to be together for life. God himself ordained and loves the union. I’m a woman that preaches marriage even when I knew what the word marriage was all about, because my parents set a very good example. They were together happily until my dad’s tragic death. What happened to my marriage (lowers voice), in fact, I don’t know what happened to my
marriage.
They said you walked out of your five-year marriage, why did you do that?
I didn’t walk out of my marriage, I practically ran out of it. The truth is that I really and truly respect my ex-husband, reason being that he is the father of my child. (Now sobbing) Because of posterity, I want to be very careful about the words I use in this interview. My marriage was far from being normal; it was not a normal marriage. I do not want to go into details, but it wasn’t a normal one! Mind you, iron sharpeth iron. From both of us, there were issues that we were not able to reconcile amicably.

You’ve still not told us why you ran out of the house?
There were several cases of domestic violence on my person. I will be foolish if I do not admit that there were incessant cases of violence and assault on me.

How often do you experience this violence?
Every other day, in fact, there was violence up and down. Screams, shouts and all these were driving me crazy because it was not normal. At a point, I started acting as if I was crazy. Sincerely speaking, at a point I started acting very abnormal.
I wasn’t able to reconcile the fact that every time we have to sit and have a normal couple’s argument it escalates into violence. I didn’t see all these as a normal marriage; because I know what a normal marriage is all about.

At what stage of your marriage did this violence start?
Its been there, it was there even while we were courting, there were signs of it and we courted for four months.

After seeing all these ugly signs, why did you still go ahead with the marriage?
I went ahead because love covers all multitudes of sin. I thought that with maturity and age all that would stop, but it never did. Unfortunately, the more I thought of it, the more it dawned on me that my thoughts were mere wild imaginations. In fact, at some point, I started thinking that may be, it was me that was causing the violence. You know when you’ve been constantly subdued you then begin to ask yourself silly questions always. I kept asking and looking for what it was that I was not doing rightly. I kept praying and crying to God to help me. But you see, the whole thing was one sided, it has to be the two people. If one person understands what the institution called marriage is and the other does not or is acting childish, it can’t work. It has to be two persons, that’s what God said and even did by creating, Adam and Eve.

At some point in the course of the violent attacks, did you ever try to fight back?
Even if I sat down the first day to receive all kinds of bashings, as a human being, don’t you think that the second day, I must defend myself? They were fights (sobs).

At what point in the troubled marriage did you make up your mind that you were going to leave your ex?
When it was beginning to look like I was going to die. I left finally, in the middle of this year.

What major incident prompted your leaving the house eventually?
Its terrible, I do not want to go into details, but I knew I left the house on July 10, 2009.

Was your ex home the day you left?
Yes, he was home that fateful day.

What was his reaction and what did he do?
Earlier, we had a very terrible fight, so he ignored me while I was leaving.

Were these incessant domestic violence the cause of the several miscarriages you had while living with your ex husband?
I had multiple miscarriages while living with my ex-husband. One was four months, another was six months plus and one was at about the same period. They were all stress related and my being unnecessarily worked up. Constant violence was traced to all of these miscarriages.

Since leaving the house, has your path crossed with that of your ex-husband, either by physical contact or speaking on the phone?
Not at all, not even to ask after our child. Not even a word from his family, since this whole thing started. I only get barrages of abusive and curses filled text messages from my ex and his sponsored cronies always. But, the truth is that I’m a child of God and none of them can bring me down. I’m hugely blessed and have since moved on with my new lease of life.

What do you think could have been responsible for this graveyard silence?
I do not know. May be, they have to support their own whether he’s right or wrong. I don’t think that should rule out the fact that there is child between us. I believe that somebody from his family should at least, ask about the health and well being of their baby, and not about me. I think the reason is best known to them.

Looking back now, does this make you feel bad?
Not-at-all, it just makes me to wonder whoa! So life can truly be like this. I don’t feel bad at all.

What is the latest on the divorce filed by your lawyers?
Judgment had been given on December 17, and the marriage has been dissolved and the court gave me custody of the child and of course, some percentage from his side, for the upkeep of our child. And he has been reached and told the things he has to be doing based on the verdict of the court. At least, with this judgment I will be able to get my personal belongings out from our former house.

How does the judgment make you feel?
I felt relieved and free. I feel like someone set free from bondage, prison and punishment. Although, what happened calls for a sober reflection; but I feel happy and very free now.

You’re now a spinster, how are you coping with your new status?
I tell you, the challenges are there, but if you know who you are and where you’re headed. If you know that you’re better off this way instead of constantly being battered and molested and even stripped off of everything that makes you a complete woman, you’d rather stay single and bask in it. Also be courteous and know that the world out there is vicious, so the only option is to marry your God, be more focused. Because, when you’re a divorcee, in most cases, you tend to lose focus, because it will look as if the world is against you. But I don’t believe in that, just pick up yourself and look up to God and listen to His direction. Nothing is exciting me anymore, because I’ve seen it all and been there.

Is there any man in your life currently?
I just came out of one and you’re asking if there is another man, yes, my God and daughter are the men in my life now.

Any plan of remarrying?
Honestly, I don’t want to talk about marriage right now, I’m not thinking about it right now

So, what are you thinking about right now?
I’m thinking about building my career and concentrating on my beautiful work as a brand ambassador to Glo. I also want to concentrate on the arts academy Emen Isong, few pals and I are setting up. In fact, a whole lot of charity works and other positive ventures are what I’m thinking about now.

Your ex hubby said Emem Isong was among those that misled you, how true is this?
First and foremost, I want to publicly apologise to all those that were being rubbished in the media when my marriage crashed, Rita Dominic, Genevieve Nnaji and of course Emem Isong. Emem was being rubbished simply because she accommodated me for a few weeks when my marriage crashed. As a true friend and sister, she did what a lot of people were not able to do. I want to use this medium to thank her very much; I really do appreciate all her love and efforts. They were not the major cause of my crashed marriage. Violence was the major cause

Did you ever go to your in-laws to complain about the unending domestic violence?
Yes, I did severally, but they were indifferent, may be, because they did not believe me. Even my own family was not happy with what was happening to me in the marriage.

Prior to getting married, did your estranged in-laws, support the marriage?
I don’t know and that is the truth.

Were they at the wedding?
(Long pause) No.

Now that the whole thing has crashed, any regret?
Mixed feelings, no regret at all. At least, after all the violence and nasty things said about me, I still had a baby as a prove of the marriage.

What would you say was the major lesson learnt from the crashed marriage?
First, look before leaping, always seek God’s face, also listen to the advice of elders and also get the blessings of your parents and family members.

How did your immediate family react to the news of the break up?
They were and are still very happy that I came out of that marriage alive. They are also happy that my whole body is still intact and there is no deformity. They are sad the marriage failed after I gave it my all. I’m from a royal home and the first to make history in that home as a divorcee. I don’t want to drag my family into this, because I was hell bent on getting married.

What was the attraction then?
It was weird and very silly, but my ex is an intelligent guy and I thought he had a bright future. He has all the nice things to say in his mouth. I was naïve and completely carried away.

Where and how did you meet?
We met briefly here in 2002, I was going to church and he was coming from church, the day we met, somewhere in Lekki, Osapa London, to be precise. We got married in 2004.

What are your plans for 2010?
A whole lot of things are up my sleeves; I’ve never concentrated on my career ever before like I’m going to do in 2010. I want to set up new projects, face my brand project with Glo. Its been awesome working with them. The experience is fantastic and I can’t thank Glo enough, for deeming it fit to pick and brand us their ambassadors. Glo comes first on the list of my corporate engagements. The next level for me now, is to seek the best things in life, you can’t buy them, and they are free. I also want to give back to the society.

But how did you feel reading about all those nasty things about your crashed marriage in the papers and on the internet?
I felt bad, because prior to that time, I had always carried myself with a certain level of pride, I always try to respect myself as a name in Nollywood. In fact, I shut down completely. It was people like Emem Isong, Zik Zulu Okafor, Mr. Kool and my mum that really helped me, because I was on the verge of going mad. My only advice is that anybody seeking to go into marriage; should seek first, the face of God and should not do things because almost everybody is doing it.

So, how are you coping with men?
I cope well, because I know what I want. Men still come my way, but I’m not available for all those men looking for whom to play or toy with. All I want now is peace of mind.

Do you believe in you?
Very well, and I intend to fall in love again, I want God to direct that aspect of my life, but I’m definitely not in a hurry.

Is your daughter missing her dad?
I don’t think she knows who her dad is right now.


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Guyz! sucks!!!. God help me coz i hate dem wit passion.

Guyz! sucks!!! God help me coz i hate dem wit passion.

wow hearing this makes me so sorry for her. Girl i feel u and thank God u came out alive (that is if the story is true )

Dreamm:

Guyz! sucks!!! God help me coz i hate dem wit passion.

r u lesbo?

Am nt and can never be. I jst hate them dat's y i said God help me.

why are u all talking like a damn fool.Damn it,do u no hw it feels 2 be heart broken nd treated as slave by d man who so much luv nd respect.Pls be mindful of what u say,bissy body.

Emeka and his ridiculous threads.