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My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story - Literature - Nairaland

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My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 3:07pm On Apr 09, 2017
Hello guys!!! I welcome you all to this wonderful thread. I wanna share with you my story in Maritime Academy. Invite your friends and please do note that your suggestions and criticisms are welcome.

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Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 3:12pm On Apr 09, 2017
First I was greeted by an old ship structure of a considerable small height made of cement, painted in navy blue and white colour. I am very sure nature robbed the ship its colourful brilliance. It just dawn on me that the school has been in existence for more than five decades and since then it has lacked proper maintenance and renovation. I was totally bemused. The old ship structure before the main gate welcomed me into its arm with low impression. To add insult to my injury, the naval rating (Instructor) in front of the gate shouted at me. “Crab! What are you looking at?” Before I was able to decipher the meaning of crab, the naval rating whose belly was relatively big and a small head to fill the description whipped me with a swagger stick (Big stick). The pains sent signal to my inner brain and it accepted the pains with good fate and left me in complete dizziness. He asked me to go on my hunches (go down). I was confused because I wasn’t familiar with the terms.
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 3:15pm On Apr 09, 2017
Another naval rating who I later found out to be Instructor Azeke aka Instructor NNS Thunder gave me a dirty slap. I saw stars and lightning waging wars against the forces of darkness in the far beyond space. Instructor Azeke also had a big belly and a small head. It got me thinking that all the Instructors were probably like that. He commanded me, “Now pull off your Civilian wears and put on your white vest and short”. I simply did not know the meaning of acknowledgement. I zapped to where my box was and quickly changed to my white vest and short in less than 30 seconds. It just seemed to me like I have broken a world record. After carrying out the orders, Instructor Azeke gave me another dirty slap for not acknowledging earlier by responding “Aye Aye Sir”. This time around I saw myself flying supersonic jet as the hot slap went directly to my face and took me aground. It was just as if I flew thousands of miles and landed into the famous Bermuda Triangle. He commanded me again, “Crab! Now listen up this way; if you waste my time again, I will take you personal and make sure I finish you in this school till you graduate”.
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 3:18pm On Apr 09, 2017
He gave me a stern look and said, “Put your luggage on your head, double round the ship structure and sing Academy-I-Don-come”. I gave a resounding reply “Aye Aye Sir”. In fact my response was enough to fall down the walls of Jericho as it captured everyone’s attention. At first when I started doubling round the ship structure with box on my head. I thought it was an easy task. When I started the drill, my voice was loud enough to stop a ship sailing across Atlantic Ocean. Due to constant shouting and wailing, my voice went down flat like the noise of old container ship.
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by nNEOo(m): 3:19pm On Apr 09, 2017
Hmm this should be interesting....
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 3:20pm On Apr 09, 2017
A marine engineering cadet estimated that I was moving at the speed of 40 metre per seconds. He estimated my total time of suffering to be 30 minutes 22 seconds. He further explained that the heat expelled from my body was enough to turn a ship propeller for three months. An electrical engineering cadet also said that the lightning and thunder he saw on face when I received the two hot slaps were enough to generate electricity in Nigeria for 6 years without power failure.
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Khd95(m): 3:29pm On Apr 09, 2017
Buygala
oya come colet seat for front nd se wel wel before them arrive.
Op,ngwa continuegrin
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by nNEOo(m): 3:44pm On Apr 09, 2017
Khd95:
Buygala

oya come colet seat for front nd se wel wel before them arrive.

Op,ngwa continuegrin




No ves bros abeg shiff make I join you....oya op
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 4:03pm On Apr 09, 2017
I was already soaked with sweat like someone poured me five buckets of water. Instructor Azeke commanded me to stop and handed me over to an NDII police. He ordered the NDII police to take me inside and work on my soul. We entered inside the Academy and I did all the necessary registration or better termed as “Welcome on Board Sign in”

Something caught my attention, I saw other crabs (ND 1 cadets) doubling (Running steadily) in group uniformly and in a synchronized manner and the Mandelas (ND II Officers) smartly dressed in Navy blue uniforms and marching uniformly to their destination. It was indeed very colourful. Some people call it beauty of the parade.

The NDII police gave me a hot “Tawa” on my neatly cut Abolo. Only Nigerians would understand what “Abolo” means. Well Abolo is just a hair-cut style without an atom of hair left behind. Mine was extra-ordinary as one would literally use it as mirror. On a more serious note, something strange travelled down from my head to the anus. I couldn’t hold it any longer. I farted and a little fluid came out of the front region. Tawa in Academy means a hot slap on the head. Take it or leave it, because of the impact made by the Tawa, my head was hot enough to boil 50 drums of crude oil for five days. I gave out a cry and three consecutive loud farts. He must have upset my stomach by giving me a hot Tawa on my Abolo.
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 4:06pm On Apr 09, 2017
Shoutout to you guys!!!
nNEOo
Khd95
Buygala
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 4:25pm On Apr 09, 2017
I wondered where the NDII police originated from. He was very short like Devil’s little boy. He must be from the land of the dwarf I thought. Before giving me the Tawa, he had to jump 3 consecutive times before executing his drill. I was too tall for the little devil. That alone annoyed him because my height was intimidating. It was later I checked his name tally and found out that he was of the Yoruba descent, Tayo by name. He was feared and respected in the Academy by crabs. He commanded me, “Crab, open your box and give me your report”. I responded “Aye Aye Sir”. He dragged my luggage full of goodies and took away my provisions and left me with nothing except a cup of garri that will not last a day. He looked at me and said, “My name is Provost Tayo, the lion of the Academy. I do whatever I like; I also look forward to getting more report from you. Hope that order is loud and clear?”. I replied “Aye Aye Sir”. He hissed, turned and walked away with my golden provisions. He turned back and shouted from a distance that I should double to the hostel with luggage on my head. He smiled sheepishly and dashed into the thin air.
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 4:39pm On Apr 09, 2017
I doubled to the hostel in no time and upon getting to the main hostel, the hostel Instructor posted me Cabin L5, Presidential hostel (PH) without any torment. He only asked for my state of origin and school fees receipt. He appointed an NDII officer to show me the way to my cabin. The NDII Officer looked at me with burning fire in his face. He gave me two Tawa(s) for not paying compliment and the other for looking at him eyeball to eyeball. For the very first time in my life, I saw the moon and the sun fighting for me. I was caught up between the devil and the deep blue sea. I just secretly prayed for the ground to open. He took me to my cabin in no distant time and left me at the door post. I saw an inscription on the door; written boldly with red paint “Welcome to Cabin L5 (Hell Fire Regimental Zone)”.
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 4:59pm On Apr 09, 2017
The inscription further pressed fears and worries into my mind like an engine injector. The mistake I made was to knock on the door. I was supposed to request for permission to enter the cabin. Nonetheless, the mistake was made already. An NDII officer who could be best described as soulless opened the door and dragged me in as all the 6 junior officers took turn to inflict Tawa pain on my head. The most senior officer, HNDII cadet asked my mission in the cabin. I told him that I was posted to the cabin by the Hostel Instructor. He gave me two hot Tawa(s). One for acceptance and the other for not paying compliment. He laughed like a superman in Disneyland and said “Welcome to War College, Oron Navy! Welcome to Academy; Welcome to Cabin L5, the hottest cabin in the Academy.
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Davidhero(m): 10:11pm On Apr 09, 2017
Following
Op, no fall my hand, i get high hopes say this story ko make sense die...
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Akinwale14(m): 10:35pm On Apr 09, 2017
Bros abeg no stop oo
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by tbrown90(m): 12:25pm On Apr 10, 2017
nice 1 crib crib..but u didn't indicate if it was old hostel..modern hostel..new hostel..or pgd
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 5:34pm On Apr 10, 2017
tbrown90:
nice 1 crib crib..but u didn't indicate if it was old hostel..modern hostel..new hostel..or pgd
Ahoy na Presidential Hostel aka PGD
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by tbrown90(m): 12:26am On Apr 11, 2017
carry on smartly. its gud 2 have u talk abt MAN here..more ink 2 ur pen. batch tay tay reporting siirrr
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Dboy55: 2:19pm On Apr 14, 2017
Op update dis thread nah, cause I dae follow
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Davidhero(m): 3:00pm On Apr 14, 2017
Dboy55:
Op update dis thread nah, cause I dae follow

Don't mind the guy...

Very soon i'll unfollow.
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by KingOfThePay(m): 3:51pm On Apr 14, 2017
Op you bring back memories. Those days of hustling to enter NDA and MAN...Drilling wey man chop for screening alone, chai!

You know this senior cadets? Some of my homies that made it.
Cadet Patrick, Cadet Alaba, Cadet Joshua etc
you suppose know them
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Dboy55: 10:28pm On Apr 14, 2017
KingOfThePay:
Op you bring back memories. Those days of hustling to enter NDA and MAN...Drilling wey man chop for screening alone, chai!

You know this senior cadets? Some of my homies that made it.
Cadet Patrick, Cadet Alaba, Cadet Joshua etc
you suppose know them
NDA cadet or MAN cadet
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by KingOfThePay(m): 11:20pm On Apr 14, 2017
Dboy55:
NDA cadet or MAN cadet
NDA for where, MAN.! NDA that politicised a man's ambition Oron doings...
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Dboy55: 9:49am On Apr 15, 2017
KingOfThePay:

NDA for where, MAN.!
NDA that politicised a man's ambition
Oron doings...
boss xo what's d difference between MAN and NDA ,do MAN cadets graduate as a 2nd LT
Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by mrwash(m): 11:00am On May 24, 2017
This man, finish what you started before I job your soul. ExCadet Ebie W.O reporting.

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Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by jessejagga(m): 1:46pm On May 24, 2017
Remember nwosu NDII police grin that guy do u strong thing cry

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Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 2:01pm On May 24, 2017
jessejagga:
Remember nwosu NDII police grin that guy do u strong thing cry
Yesoooo

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Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 2:02pm On May 24, 2017
This thread is dedicated to Ebie W.O (mrwash); Words are not enough to thank you for your support and encouragement. God bless you Ahoy; To Edet V.E, Omotayo T.D, Assouekpe E.B(TunnyKing), Jessejagga, Oke E.O, the entire Batch V Elect/Elect Dept. MAN, Oron and finally to the followers of this thread. You guys are wonderful!!!

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Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 2:04pm On May 24, 2017
Continuation
He ordered his subordinate to open my box and bring out all the goodies. “Empty”, one of the NDII officers declared. “Search very well” ordered the HND officer. At this point, I was expecting the worst to happen; As if I were an ordained prophet, Provost Tayo materialized in front of our cabin and passed a very serious information to the to the HND II officer. The confused officer whose mood changed immediately, looked at me like a confused captain in a critical state when the vessel is about to sink and said “Instructor Azeke says you should report to the Centric post now”.

There is a saying in Chinese proverb that “fart has no toilet”. Upon hearing this information combined with my experience at the gate, I dashed out two resounding farts out of fear. I wondered why my body system was releasing so much gas like supersonic jets. Well I must confess, it sounded like a bad car engine combined with a rotten-egg smell. The devil’s little boy (Provost Tayo) shouted “Please increase the speed of the fan, before this bastard sends me to early grave because of Navy work”. Instantly, he dubbed me “Mess-Mess Crab”. My HNDII officer shouted at me and asked fiercely if I drank soak-away juice. “This crab must be a clown” he concluded.
To avoid more water from entering my coconut, I carried out his commands without doubts and unreasonable objections. I followed him while he led the way.

Instructor Azeke sighted us from a distance and shouted thus, saying “why is he walking, let him hunch (frog jump)”. Just like a computer program, Provost Tayo gave me a hot Tawa for all the troubles. Without waiting for him to press the send button (next orders), I executed the command immediately without delay. My father will always say “Delay is dangerous”. I went down and started the huncahing movement. The hunching movement is more or less a frog jump but done in a synchronized manner and uniformly with small interval. “Very good” hailed the instructor. “Advance with full speed Mess-Mess Crab” Added Provost Toyo.

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Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 2:06pm On May 24, 2017
Forgive me but to be frank and sincere, I was sweating like a clown who just had nine (9) rounds of sex. “He wants to show me he is pakard”. Pakard in the Academy means strong, energetic, unusual, standard, and smart or anything that has to do with exceptional ability. Instructor Azeke said to provost Tayo, “I will finish his ancestors, seize his peace and hang it on the pole right now” he exclaimed in a tone of laughter which could be best described as seed of wickedness. He gave me five doses of Tawa which I accepted with no resistance. He wondered if I had suddenly developed anti-Tawa. Instructor Azeke was still very shocked about the Tawa-Saga. He ordered the provost to take me back to my cabin at once.
I got to my Cabin in no distant time, and out of pity, the HND II Officer finally gave me orientation on how to survive the Academy. He ordered me to go the showers for thorough bath.
***********************************************************************************************************************

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Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 2:09pm On May 24, 2017
Finally I was allowed to rest by 12:00 am. I slept and forgot all my worries. I saw myself in the dream taking charge of the parade ground and I gave commands to all cadets present. It was indeed colourful, while I was enjoying the sweet dream; I received a hot tap on my right leg. Without any further delay, I shouted “Academy shun”, and jumped up like someone who has seen a ghost, sweating profusely and at the same time totally confused. When I finally regained my senses, I was told to fall out for PT (Physical Training). PT in the Academy is a physical training exercise; all junior cadets are expected to muster for the exercise. It’s sometime fun and usually very deadly to culprits who must have offended their officers. Its activity includes running round the Academy three consecutive times and usually followed by morale songs. I checked my watch, it was Two 0’ Clock in the morning. “Why would someone wake me up at this ungodly hour for a stupid meaningless exercise” I said to myself.
I heard sounds of whistle, followed by thunderous shouts by the some few crabs. The drill is very simple, once the whistle is blown, orders follows immediately. “All crabs fall out for PT”, “You have 10 counts to fall out now”, “1 2 3 4 5 ….9 10, you are on your own”.

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Re: My First Day In Maritime Academy-True Story by Nobody: 2:11pm On May 24, 2017
I respect Academy so much for their orderliness in carrying out this drill in unison. Still in the process of getting out of my confused state, I quickly changed to my PT wears and zoomed off with my fellow crabs. Getting to the mustering point, I saw lots of crabs lying down on the deck (ground) and soaked with dirty water. My cabin crabs Femi and Ajayi quickly joined the other crab in shouting “You are on your own”. Ignorance they say is a disease; I started walking majestically like the president’s son to the mustering point. I heard a thunderous loud voice that can make one fret and at the same time stop a moving train. “Mess-Mess Crab, are you walking for your grandfather”. I didn’t answer the Officer, the next thing I saw were flashes of light rays followed by loud sound on my face and ear drum respectively like magic. Little did I know that my story has spread like dry season bush fire in the Academy in just few hours. I was totally bemused at this point. The officer gave me the beating of my life. He commanded me to join the culprits I saw earlier lying down on the deck. I was soaked with dirty water and was given strict orders to roll on the deck from point A to B.

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