Dear diary, there is a popular saying that every Nigerian has tasted enough hell and so should have a free entry into heaven. That may be untrue but as you know in every untrue word there is an electron or atom of truth.
I had to register for JAMB in 2017 because despite my high score in 2016 JAMB 2016 and my clean WAEC result.I was still treated like an idiot by a prestigious university in the south eastern part of Nigeria. That was a sad story since it was one of my first taste of corruption. So,I,Richard Benson (real name withheld) have decided to let old experience become history. The 2017 JAMB registration started on March 20 and I got the details a bit late. My guys who were in cash did their registration quickly and they came back with stories. One of my best pals, Sanchezy, Came home successful after two weeks of Trials without success and he slept off like if he had been awake for weeks or as if he fought in world war two.I boasted to my friends that I would get the money and register in one day but they laughed at me and looked at me like a fool who was building castles in the air.
Monday,3rd April,Came and I got my money which was just enough to pay for my jamb stuff and after convincing my mom,We(both of us) agreed to go on Tuesday (4th April).Now don't get me wrong! My Mon just followed me for companionship sake and nothing else. We left as early as 8am to Unity Bank which was opposite Presidential hotel,Port Harcourt. I allowed my mom to relax while I paid for my pin and after we left for the JAMB zonal office. In my mind,I imagined JAMB office to be a big green building possibly a duplex with the word JAMB sculptured on it.When we got there what greeted me was a long queue. I quickly joined the queue and got acquainted with the boy in front of me.My queue moved a bit fast and then I noticed different kinds of people ranging from Christians to Muslims, Handsome to Ugly,Voluptuous divas to lepacious Cinderellas, Never mind dressers to ward robe time wasters,Youthful school leavers to old time experienced jambites. They were all there and I was somehow in the middle of this catholic. I was trying to be a gentlemanWhen a young man chanced upon me and got into the gate just before I was stopped by a civil defence corp stopped me.you could imagine.those in the queue envisioned that entering the gate was a sign of answered prayers and you could imagine me disgust when that guy chanced upon me.I waited another fifteen minutes and during that period, I realized that there was no gentleman in JAMB.Also,during that time,people cracked Jokes which were not necessary, cursed,pushed and young rouges used that opportunity to steal and touch people in an absurd/unholy way.In our minds entering the gate was our only goal.The next time the gate was opened I pushed hard,bringing out every single atom of thug life in me and in no time,I was in.
When I got in,it was as if I was playing a game,to me it was a huge LEVEL 1 - COMPLETED but my joy was immediately turned into disappointment when I saw the so called JAMB office. It was far below what I imagined.it had a large compound with scattered building and then the main building had broken windows, broken ceilings boards and a leaking roof as if the building was used as a hideout during the Nigeria-Biafra Civil war. My mom who was outside got tired of waiting and after passing some money through the fence she went home leaving me to taste maturity. I quickly bought my book and the JAMB CD and then sprinted to the line to begin another struggle for thumb printing. From my line,I noticed the JAMB office was below standard, short staffed, disorganised with a relatively small number of computer that would not be enough to register a local government Area.I was waiting and praying for my turn to reach when a man walked in with his daughter and before long they were attended to, many came in with members of the armed forces and they were given immediate attention. Then I got the beat,it was very simple"Big man,fast registration"those who came with well to do dads were given prompt attention after something changed hands.Those who came with soldiers, police or any uniformed personnel were treated like an ambassador even a half cast was given immediate attention.
Some students/jambites started chanting ""corruption!!"" But that did not change anything neither did it help matters. The most painful part was around 5pm when a girl who came late and was stuck outside the gate saw her uncle/family friend/whatever who was a JAMB official through the iron fence and after she managed to draw his attention ,the same man(name and dressing withheld) came out of the gate and before my very eyes,she was in the premises and before I could say Jack,she was done. This was corruption without margin. So jambites lost hope and started socializing,numbers changed phone set. I felt like an idiot when I saw adults (JAMB officials) taking bribe from kids(JAMBITES). It was appalling. After everything,truancy set in and we were chased out of the premises and even pepper-sprayed at one point when the same crime committer started banging the gate.I walked home like an old soldier on wobbly feet and a broken spirit ,by 8:10pm,I reached home with an uncompleted registration. I couldn't tell my siblings stories, I ate,took a bath and before I could spell "on" I slept off.I never got back to normal until after twelve hours.of a truth,JAMB registration is worse than NDA training.